Deans Journal
by Gett
Summary: Dean and Sam are out on a hunt and things turn bad for Dean. Sam has to get Dean to hospital in time then help him recover. A second hunt gets Dean into more trouble and the relationship between the brothers deepens.
1. Chapter 1 Batman

**Warnings:** This story has adult content . Rated for swearing as well. It started as a angst Dean/ Sam story but developed into a love story then Wincest. If you don't like please, don't read. Not a death fiction.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything Supernatural related. All towns and other people are made up any similarity is purely coincidental. Medical terms are researched but it's recommended that people learn first aid themselves.

**Setting:** Six months after John dies Season 2.

Ch 1 Batman

"Ah, You Bitch" yelled Dean as he jumped the pile of rubble on the third floor of the abandoned Children's home. As his right leg came down to take force of his leap he fired the sawn-off shotgun with his right hand, his left arm out wide for balance. Bulls-eye! The Harpy went down with an ear shattering screech. Then Dean landed heavily on his right foot, and the floor gave out with a crack his foot disappearing into the floor. "Uh" he grunted as he fell forward with momentum and slammed his left foot down to stop him falling any faster. His left foot however slid forward on the ancient slimy floor and pushed his right leg deeper into the hole, until his knee hyper flexed and he screamed as his knee banged painfully out of joint. Deans left leg finally stopped sliding and he pulled the shotgun up to put another round into yet another Harpy. Grateful for the full moon and a roof with holes as big as small cars, Dean kept the gun up ensuring the area was clear before pulling his TAURUS Model 92 9mm out of the waistband of his jeans.

Still holding the 9mm in his left hand and a watchful lookout for more crazy Harpies, Dean grabbed shotgun shells from his jacket pocket and quickly had the weapon reloaded. Feeling his current position was tactically unsound, and must look bloody ridiculous as well, he leaned slightly on the sawn offs stock with the muzzle on a part of the floor that hopefully wouldn't collapse on him, he manoeuvred his leg slowly out of the hole. It felt pretty weak and Dean saw the huge rip in his pants just under his knee that went almost to the back of his pants. Blood was already holding the fabric to his shin all the way down his leg to his foot.

"That's gonna hurt later" he thought.

Dean slipped the 9mm back into his jeans waistband, still keeping his head up for oncoming trouble, swapped the sawn-off to his left and pulled his right hand into a tight fist, drew in a big breath then blew it out.

"Hell this might hurt a bit now "he said to himself, before he slammed the heel of his fist into his right patella.

"FUCK! "He yelled at the pain he had just caused himself. And the knee was still out; he could feel it, that and a load of bile at the back of his throat. Dean had never had a dislocated knee before, shoulder, fingers all sorts of things but never a knee. This could be bad in the middle of a hunt. He had to get back to Sam as quick as possible. He could hear the sound of weapon fire from the room behind him where he had chased the Harpy from. Dean reversed the shotgun holding it now by the barrel and the receiver and, without giving himself time to think, belted his poor patella with the end of the stock. Dean screamed as it banged back in and out came the waiting bile, Dean vomiting violently onto the floor.

"Ah god, that hurt you BITCH "he ground out and stood up fully to test his weight on the leg. Not to bad, probably should stay off it for a day or so but what the hell.

Dean limped painfully back the way he came, getting faster as he got closer to where he left Sam. As he re -entered the room he took in his brothers form, on his knees bent over his shotgun, but the weapon was breached and Sam was scrambling on the floor for lose rounds. Dean's blood ran cold as a victorious scream assaulted the air, one of the Harpies was closing in on Sam, a large arm bent back and fist squeezed firmly closed. Deans protective instinct took over and he increased his pace to a dead run in only two seconds, trying to do the impossible , get between Sam and the Harpy . His right leg screamed in protest and he was vaguely aware of fresh blood running down his shin, but he buried it deep grinding his teeth and leapt in front of Sam, leaving the ground just as the Harpy struck. The next couple of seconds were a blurring rush as he was pushed over Sam with a gush of wind and pain to his left side. Then the pain on his left was forgotten as his right side hit a sandstone column, he felt winded from both sides and was barley able to hold onto the weapon in his right hand. Then downward momentum took over, because he had been in the air when the Harpy had struck him, he was a few feet off the ground when he hit the column. Dean landed heavily in the rubble on the floor, his head had flopped forward from being winded and hit the ground first, smacking savagely, high on his forehead on a brick , before his chest hit hard. Dark sports danced in front of his eyes and he blinked them away, rising from the ground as he did. Dean was grateful when his hunting instincts took over and he was firing on two Harpies as he was still struggling for breath. Sam was now back in action and there were two guns firing for a few seconds then silence.

"You good?" wheezed Dean to his brother as they both scanned the room.

"Yeah, now "said Sam evenly "that bitch just stunned me for a second that's all. But then I had friggin Superman leap in to save me "

. "Ha Ha, funny Sammy. And its _Batman_, you know that." Dean panted and shook his head to clear the fog that was now threatening to creep in the edges of his vision.

"Damn, bad move." The Harpy must have spat something on him, because the right side of his face felt wet, like he was just out of the shower.

As Dean blinked his eyes to clear his vision he caught a flick of a wing pass the large broken window to his right and pulled his shotgun around fast, but the Harpy wasn't coming in she was flying past. Dean moved toward the window as fast as his still screaming head and chest would let him, and saw the Harpy dive into a pile over overgrown shrubs and weeds at the rear of the dilapidated building.

"I think I just found the nest "he said as Sam joined him at the window. Sam looked down just in time to see the moonlit brush murmur and the Harpies feet disappear in the shrubs.

"All right" he said "lets finish this" he flicked his eyes to Deans face quickly then took a step away from Dean toward the duffle bags on the floor. Dean moved to follow Sam but was stopped abruptly by Sam's large hand on his chest.

"Ow" said Dean" what the hell Sam?' he looked up to his brother's face, who was looking at him intently.

"You're bleeding" said Sam softly.

"I know. I'm fine" said Dean, looking down and seeing bloody boot tracks on the floor leading to where he now stood. He bent his neck slightly to see blood dripping lazily off his right boot, his shin now completely dark with blood. Then he started as he felt Sam's hand grab him by the right jaw and tilt his head into the moonlight spiling from the window. Dean quickly looked up to see Sam's eyes wide and assessing his forehead. "How can you see?" said Sam with concern.

"What?" said Dean confused.

"Your eye has blood in it."

"Oh, I thought it was Harpy spit or somethin' "he said trying to put Sam's mind at ease.

"No, Dean, it's from a huge gash in your head" Sam was now sounding worried and refusing to let go of Dean's face.

"Its OK I can barely feel it" Dean said shrugging Sam's hand off. It was not a lie, he could barely feel it, what with the now splitting headache, the tight, bruised chest and the screaming knee it felt like a tiny cut.

Dean moved away from Sam toward the duffle bags as he heard Sam mumble something about macho shit. They covered each other as they slung the bags over their shoulders and stood together to reload the weapons.

"Did we get the Queen, do you think?" said Dean as they finished reloading.

"I hope so, but knowing our luck….." said Sam "how many did you get?" he continued. "11" said Dean without pause knowing his count was accurate, it was something he had learned a long time ago - always count the kills.

"Well I hit 6, so we should be just about done."

"Wow 18's a bit nest dude" said Dean "You think Bobby could have tracked a nest that big on his own". They moved towards a rotting stairwell at the back of the building covering each other with the shotguns as they moved with military like precision.

"Yeah, but with so many they confused the trail by attacking so many different towns making them harder to track '

"Yeah well, never known a harpy I couldn't track "said Dean, feeling slightly better now that he had some of his wind back.

"Come on Dean even we took three days to track them down".

" Well they're toast now" said Dean. The boys headed slowly down the stairwell taking care on the rotting wood on the stairs and when they passed under holes in the roof.

They were a third of the way down the second flight when a loud screech came from above Sam who was higher up the stairs behind Dean. Both boys spun and brought their weapons up to see the biggest Harpy they had seen that night, much taller and muscular than the others. Sam and Dean both fired at the Harpy who had flown very fast straight at Sam. Sam's shot seemed to miss and Deans shot seemed to bounce off one of the large silvery wings. The Harpy grabbed at Sam's left arm but Dean couldn't fire again knowing he could hit his brother.

"Damn, I think we just pissed her off" thought Dean wildly, scrambling up the rotten stairs toward his brother. Suddenly Sam was being lifted back up the stairs then his feet coming off the ground as the Harpies claws dug into his left arm. Deans heart leaped into his throat and he yelled "Let go of _my_ brother" before grabbing Sam by the waistband of his jeans with one hand as he was being lifted up. The sudden extra weight, and Sam hitting at the Harpy with his shotgun, made the Harpy struggle and her grip slipped and Sam went crashing backwards into Dean who in turn fell backwards onto his right leg. The leg now taking Sam's weight and his own found it too much and clunked painfully back out of joint. Dean grunted with pain and tried to regain his balance with his left foot, but it was too late they were going down. They fell down the rest of the stairs, crashing into an untidy puddle at the bottom, Dean getting the wind knock out of him again, but this time because his brother had landed on top of him. The back of Dean's head hit the floor with a bone shattering crunch. He saw stars but stayed conscious long enough to hear Sam fire again at the Harpy, he tried to raise his own weapon but couldn't seem to locate it then the fog took him and he was out.


	2. Chapter 2 Down

**See disclaimer Chapter 1**

Chapter 2 Down 

"Dean, Dean, wake up!" Dean came to slowly with a bright light shining on his face impairing him from registering anything else.

"Where, am I hospital?" He thought dazedly, that might explain the bright light.

"Dean, you alright?"

"Sammy?" said Dean groggily and attempted to sit up. "AH" not a good move, stars scatted across his vision. But at least the bright light moved away from his face and he slowly took in his surroundings. The light had been Sam's flashlight which was thankfully now pointing to the floor. Now he remembered, Harpies, rotting building, brother falling on top of him, bitchin' sore knee.

"You got her right? You OK?" he asked his brother sitting up more slowly.

"Am I _OK_? You broke my fall remember?"

"Oh yeah, so you're good?"

"Yes Dean, I'm good. You however, are going to have a huge headache. It sounded like all the bones in you're skull broke. You are going to have a hell of a bump on the back of your head. It's already huge.'

Dean moved his hand up to the back of his head and there she was, one mother of a lump. But at least it was dry, unlike Sam's left forearm, which had 3 short bloody scratches on it. Dean groaned as he felt the lump getting bigger under his fingers. "Dean you were out for a good five minutes. You should rest for bit" Sam said, worried as he saw his brother slowly trying to get up.

"I'm fine Sammy, let's finish this and get out of here." Dean tried to stand but his right leg was again weak and only slightly less painful than his head now felt. Sam put his hands under Dean's arms and helped him up, eyes looking worried when Dean reeled unsteadily.

"Dean you should rest a minute." said Sam with concern.

"Na, I already rested for five minutes. Hey, she had to be the Queen right, she was huge." panted Dean, trying to distract Sam that he was having trouble standing.

"Let's hope so "said Sam vaguely.

Knowing it was no good to put it off any longer, Dean took his shot gun back from Sam and used it as he had earlier on his poor suffering patella.

"AHHH" he yelled as it thankfully banged back into joint on the first hit, he couldn't imagine doing it again the pain was excruciating. Dean stood bent over dry heaving with his right hand on his knee trying to manage the pain. Sam covered his brother as he waited for Dean to breathe through the pain and gather himself. Dean finally stood up all the way and slowly slung his bag off the floor over his shoulder staggering slightly.

"That looked painful "said Sam looking like he was going to throw up himself.

"You sure you're OK?"

"It will have to do for now." said Dean as he painfully started off in the direction they had been going. Sam stared at the back of his brother's head in amazement with his mouth slightly open. That had to be as big an admission as his brother had ever admitted to, that he was in pain and injured on a hunt.

"Wow, that must have been some wack to the head" Sam mused to himself. Dean seemed to always be able to hold it in or put it away until the work was done and they were back in the hotel, and even then it was like pulling teeth. Sam closed his mouth and followed his brother carefully down the last flight of stairs and out the back doors of the building.

The moonlight outside was quite bright because of the cloudless sky and the boys threaded their through rubble to the brush they had seen from the third floor window. Dean slowed as he approached and loosened one strap of his duffle bag and pulled out a long machete before hoisting the strap back up. They spent several minutes making their way to the centre of the 6ft tall scrub, Dean slashing with the machete, making a small path for Sam to follow who was covering Dean ever alert should there be any more Harpies. They reached a clearing which appeared to be roughly in the middle of the scrub. It was clay coloured and fairly smooth, like persistent scraping had cleared the ground. The clearing was about 30ft across and in the centre was a hole about just over 3ft across that dipped slightly into the ground.

"Yahtzee" said Dean, knowing at once a Harpies nest when he saw one. They might be in different places but the general appearance was the same.

"Yeah, this is the nest alright" sighed Sam "Ok, Salt and burn?"

Dean moved to the centre hole cautiously and peered in, shot gun at the ready. He could see fairly well into the hole considering it was night time and judged the nest to be a cave under the clearing of the same general width and about 22 ft deep. There appeared to be leaves and bark on the floor of the nest and, what looked a lot like bones to Dean.

"Doesn't look like any ones home" he muttered.

He looked around the clearing and noticed 6 smaller holes, about 1ft across, in a ring at the edge of clearing. He moved to a couple of the small holes and looked in they looked down onto the floor of the nest toward the walls.

"What are these little holes for you think?" asked Sam also peering in.

"No idea, breather's maybe?" Dean was thinking along the same lines, as it was obvious the larger hole was the entrance to the nest, he had seen that before in a typical nest but never the smaller ones.

"Maybe because there is so many of them in this nest, it's not exactly the biggest nest I've seen" said Dean, thinking out loud. Sam grunted as he continued to inspect the holes.

"Alright, one can of gas in the centre hole the other two between the six others "said Dean doing a quick count "Same with the salt, should do the trick. You want to cover me?"

Sam had reached the bags and was pulling gas cans and salt boxes out. "How about you cover me this time?"

"OK" Dean ensured both shotguns were loaded, guarding Sam as he worked. Sam started pouring gas, starting with the middle hole upending the can of gas using a box of salt to stop it falling in the hole. Dean slowly moved to the edge of the clearing nearest the building, leaving Sam's loaded shotgun on the bags and took up position scanning the sky. Sam then opened the next two cans of gas and shared it between the holes. He started the same thing with the salt. He was opening the first box of salt when he was startled by Dean cocking the shot gun, it sounding extremely loud, in what Sam realised was the eerie quiet since they had left the building. Sam's head whipped up looking for any sign of being attacked. He frowned over at his brother who was moving very slowly with his gun raised up to his shoulder. The air was empty of danger, but Sam knew Dean had a sixth sense for the supernatural, better than anyone he knew. "Sammy, whatever happens keep working" said Dean softly without taking his eyes of the sky. Dean's voice sent a chill up Sam's spine but he went back to work and had just finished the second box of salt when an ear bleeding screech filled the air.

Gun shots rang out in the night as Dean fired on by what was by far the largest Harpy of the boys had ever seen. It had come out of the scrub to the right of where Dean was standing, and it was coming fast. Dean laughed to himself as he fired; they had thought that one on the staircase might have been the queen! This one was huge compared to that one, its massive wings looked as thought they were made of metal. The moon was shining off them with dazzling effect; thank god these things don't like to feed during the day they would be blinding in the sunlight. Sam felt himself staring at the thing, its arms and torso crisscrossed in muscle but still looked oddly feminie and less witch like and more siren looking than the others they had seen that night. Its hair was a deep blonde/silver and looked like spun straw, even the gleaming claws looked more like graceful nails than huge dangerous claws …

"SAM_,_ keep working "Dean's yell interrupted Sam's floating thoughts and brought him back to reality with a thump. Suddenly with a rush to his stomach he was flooded with an ill feeling of foreboding. What? Dean was sounding panicked! Dean never sounded panicked. That got him moving again tearing open the next box of salt with now dumb fumbling fingers and trying to keep his eyes down to finish the job. Dean kept firing on the Harpy but the bitch was quick. His shots seemed to bounce off its steely wings and he moved the shot gun to his left hand quickly drawing his 9mm out of his waist band and firing quickly. Sam heard the change in weapon fire and almost lost his resolve to keep working and bring his head up to stop and check on his brother. No! He had to keep working, get this done, Dean would look after himself. With two holes left to salt Sam heard Dean scream in pain and looked up to see Dean being pulled off the ground swiftly by his left side and shoulder ,the Harpies sharp claws digging in deep.

"DEAN" he yelled dropping the salt and running for his shotgun on top of the duffle bag.

In the few seconds it took Sam to grab the weapon and raise it up the Harpy had Dean well up in the air and was already over the brush and rising quickly up toward the buildings roof. Even more amazing was that Dean had his right arm up and was still firing on the Harpy! And he was still yelling at Sam to finish the job! "Light the nest" Dean was screaming. Then the 9mm stopped firing and Sam knew it was empty. Dean dropped the weapon and pulled shells from his jacket pocket an amazing feat in itself that had to be seen to be believed, since he was being yanked up into the air in extremely rough tugs as the Harpy struggled with Dean's weight and the fact he was fighting like a pit bull. Dean managed to reach up and grab the shot gun that was now on the very tips of his left fingers, the hand and arm almost having no feeling left at all. The Harpies cruel claws tore at his shoulder as it gripped him tight. His left side screamed as he used his right hand to breach the shotgun he put the barrel between his legs and fumbled two rounds into the chamber. He ignored the blood streaming across his chest and with a grunt he managed to close the weapon and used his legs and right arm to cock it ready for use. Sam had only a second to marvel at Dean's tenacity before firing his shotgun aiming for the Harpies head lest he hit Dean, but the bullets seemed to spark off the Harpy and have no effect what so ever . Then Dean pointed his weapon up at the Harpy and from this angle he saw a flap of skin and muscle, open like a wound, on the beast's torso near the heart. Instinct took over and with the last of his strength he pushed the barrel of the rifle into the wound, pushed his arm out to improve the angle, and fired twice. The harpy let out an ear bleeding screech jerked, jerked harder, then hovered for a moment before its claws gave Dean up and he was falling.

"NO! Dean don't shoot" Sam yelled as he watched the Harpy fly over the roof of the abandoned children's home. He watched feeling sick as the Harpy jerked violently and then dropped his brother just as it had reached the highest point of the buildings roof. "DEAN!" He screamed as his brother fell straight through one of the many holes in the roof. The Harpy missed the hole in the roof and fell instead on the tiles of the roof and slid to the edge of the roof and then bonelessly to the ground.

"Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God" rambled Sam. He could feel his heartbeat in his ears as he upended the last of the salt, and ran to his bag. He grabbed the waiting Zippo off the top and yanked the bags over his shoulder in one smooth movement fumbling to get the lighter going with the other. It took three go's to get it lit and he ran and threw it into the large hole in the centre of the nest. Without waiting to see if it took he bolted in the direction that they entered, seeing the path they had made earlier and flying along it as fast as he could. Sam was rewarded with a "Woopmph" behind him as the nest lit up in a fiery ball of flame. Just as he came to the doorway of the building, Sam skidded to a stop and picked up an object he recognized even in shadow and covered in blood, Deans 9mm. He shoved the gun in the duffle bag and pulled out a flashlight as he ran. He ran to the staircase and bolted up taking two and three stairs at a time using his long legs to vault over holes like a madman. He reached the top floor and ran to the hole in the roof where he thought Dean had gone through .Under the hole in the roof was a hole in the floor, and Sam saw Deans shot gun lying next to the hole in the floor. Sam scooped the gun up; it too was covered in blood. Sam looked down the hole to see that the hole went down through all levels of the building. Sam shone the flashlight down the hole but the bottom was to dark and to far away to see. "DEAN" he yelled, there was no reply so Sam ran for the staircase and bolted down. As he ran re reloaded both shot guns purely by instinct. He stopped quickly at every level and yelled for his brother. With no luck he raced for the basement, panting hard and starting to get a stitch. It was musty and damp down here but there was a large hole in the floor which was apparently draining most of the bad weather that came through the hole in the roof away. As he neared the hole in the roof he could make out a dark shape on the ground, and as he ran forward his worsted fears were confirmed, it was Dean in a spreading pool of blood. "DEAN" he screamed as he flung himself to his knees, Dean was lying on his stomach and Dean was not breathing.


	3. Chapter 3 Breathe

**Disclaimer:**** See chapter 1**

Chapter 3 Breathe

Sam felt for a pulse on Deans neck, nothing. "Shit!" he exclaimed. He glanced up quickly and was shocked how far up the roof, or rather the open sky, looked from here. "Goddamn, it's a long way up, but you're tough Dean you'll be Ok." Sam whispered urgently to his brother as he checked again for a pulse.

"Damn" nothing. Sam straightened Dean's legs and prepared to roll him over, Deans arms were under his chest so he cupped Dean's forehead and rolled him on to his onto his right side. Sam was being very careful of Dean's neck, keeping it moving in line with his spine. He rolled Dean slowly onto his back, Sam was shocked at the blood, it seemed to be everywhere. Sam opened Dean's mouth tilling his head back and checked for breathing. Again: nothing. Sam pinched Deans nose closed and put his index finger along Deans jaw line and pushed two full breaths into Dean's mouth, watching his chest rise and fall. Then he put one knee beside Deans head and the other level with his chest the placed his interlocked fingers with heal of his hands on Deans sternum and started compressions. As Sam worked counting compressions, panic starting to work its way over the barrier he created in situations like this. Sam thought of the last time he had to administer CPR on his brother, when had been electrocuted. Then there had been a hospital fairly close- here he was at least 90 minutes to hospital. "Come on Dean; fuck, come on" garbled Sam. After 30 compressions he checked Dean's vital signs again, nothing. Sam gave Dean two more full breaths and resumed compressions. Sam tried to concentrate on counting compressions but his eyes kept returning to Dean's pale, bloody, lifeless, still face. Again Sam checked Dean's vitals, this time a flutter of a pulse caused Sam to let out a huge breath he hadn't realised he was holding in. He checked Deans breathing to find a shallow breath on his ear.

"That's it Dean keep breathing, just keep breathing". He turned Dean onto his side and stripped his own jacket and long sleeved shirt off, putting his shirt under Dean's head and draped his jacket over Dean to keep him warm. He arranged Dean as comfortable as possible, trying to assess Dean's injuries and dragged the bags over to pull the first aid kits out. He dug the kits out but once he started to unpack bandages he realised he was going to need help to get Dean out of here.

Sam dug into his jeans for his phone and flicked it open to scroll down his speed dial list to Bobby's number. He hit the call button and was thankful Bobby picked up on the second ring.

"Hey Sam, What's up?" said Bobby

"Bobby where are you?

"On my way to you, about 40 minutes out, Red Lake was a waste of time."

"I know, we found the nest but Deans been injured, I need your help"

"Deans been injured? Wha…?."

"Yeah, it's bad Bobby", interrupted Sam.

Bobby noticed the panic in Sam's voice. "Ok, Sam where are you?"

"The abandoned children's home, Mountain Lake."

"Ok, I'm about an hour out ".

"Bobby………. he fell through the roof ".

Bobby didn't like the sound of Sam's voice, he sounded just like when he was scared as a little kid.

"Damn" Bobby exclaimed.

Sam heard tyres skid on the road and the sound of the car pulling over.

"Sam, I'm going through Mountain Grove right now. They have a small med clinic, of course it's closed but when has that stopped us before? What do you need?"

"I don't know Bobby there's so much blood and he stopped breathing and his arm looks broken and ….."

"Sam calm down" said Bobby softly "Dean doesn't need you to panic now does he? What do you need? More bandages?"

"Yeah Bobby" Sam took a deep breath and tried to calm down, he had to look away from Dean to do it. "More sutures, pain killers, blankets maybe, Blood or plasma Bobby he's lost a lot, um oxygen if you can get it."

"OK, I'll do a quick bit of shopping and get up there as soon as I can ."

"Thanks Bobby" Sam knew Bobby would break all speed limits getting there as soon as he could.

"And keep your phone out, I will keep calling you."

"Thanks again Bobby". Sam was grateful Bobby had steadied him and was offering to be there for Sam without saying it.

"Damn" Thought Bobby as he backed the truck under a tree behind the small medical centre. "This doesn't sound too good for Dean" he thought as he got out of the truck and moved stealthy to the back doors. It was a small clinic in a small town so no security, expect the locks on the doors which Bobby dealt with quickly. Inside the back doors were a collection of oxygen tanks and two old type folding stretchers. Bobby quickly put the only full oxygen tank and a stretcher in the back of his truck and went bag with a duffle bag to relieve the med centre of some supplies.

Meanwhile Sam was bandaging Dean's wounds as best he could. The ones he could see anyway. Sam was worried about the internal injures Dean would probably have from a fall that far. His right leg was still bleeding below the knee and Sam set to work bandaging as tight as he could, then Deans head wounds front and back both having quite big lumps now. Deans left forearm looked out of shape but the bone was not sticking through. Sam found some wood for a splint and bandaged it carefully for support more than any thing. Sam placed tight bandages over the deep claw like wounds left by the Harpy as she had carried Dean. Sam's phone rang and he flicked it open to hear Bobby's voice.

"I'm on the way should be there in 30 minutes or so. How you holdin up, kid?"

Sam knew Bobby was talking about Dean as well.

"Were ok for now Bobby, I've got him comfortable I think, but we should get him out of here as soon as we can. The hospitals a long way away but I don't know if he is ready for that kind of trip."

"I'll be there as soon as I can, hold tight" and Bobby hung up.

Sam sat checking on Dean, what felt like every few seconds. Suddenly Dean's breathing seemed to get even shallower and then stopped altogether. Sam quickly checked his pulse again. None! Damn it! Sam rolled Dean over carefully and started CPR again, after checking his airway. Sam was back into the rhythm of compressions again before he realised he was crying uncontrollably. Damn, he couldn't keep falling apart like this he had to be there for Dean.

"COME ON DEAN, I _wont_ let you quit on me" he shouted "Come on Dean, I need you to be stubborn like you always are."

Finally after several minutes of CPR Sam felt a faint pulse in Dean's neck and a whisper of breathing. Sam couldn't help himself, he planted a sloppy kiss on Deans forehead just above the eyes about the only spot there was a gap in the bandages covering Dean's forehead.

"Good Dean, Good, way to go, that's it big brother, keep fighting" Sam enthused. To Sam's surprise he heard a weak cough and looked into Dean's face to see his eyes flutter slightly open. 'mmmm" Dean murmured . Sam knew if he hadn't been this close to Dean he wouldn't have heard it was so quiet and full of pain. Sam grabbed Dean's right hand with his own and gave it a squeeze.

"I'm right here Dean, I'm not going anywhere .Bobby's coming you just have to hang on, Ok buddy? Just hang on, Come on Dean I know you can. You can't go now, I'm just getting to know and love my big brother again." Sam found himself rambling but didn't care. He was rewarded with the tiniest of squeezes of his hand, there wasn't much in it, but at least it was something.

"That's it Dean, keep fighting, that's the way." Sam patted the side of Dean's face with his other hand being as soft as he could because of the bruising and swelling, but Dean's eyes flicked slowly towards Sam then they closed again and he was back to shallow breaths. Sam rolled Dean back on his right side, his body as floppy as it was before, but Sam felt strengthened by his small exchange with his brother. He knew somewhere deep down Dean was still fighting; He was fighting because Sam had told him to fight. Sam lay down next to Dean and tried to keep him warm with his body heat.


	4. Chapter 4 Respite

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

Chapter 4 Respite

"Sam" called Bobby as he stumbled into the building with the folded stretcher under one arm and two blankets tossed over his other shoulder.

"Bobby" yelled Sam "down here, basement level". Sam stood up to shine the flashlight so Bobby could see him. Bobby walked toward the light and found Sam's pale face looking back at him.

"Thanks for getting here so quick, Bobby"

"That's ok son. How's he doin?" Bobby said gently as he knelt down over Deans still form. Bobby took Dean's pulse, out of reflex more than anything and then looked up at the hole above him.

"Holy crap" He breathed "That's one hell of a fall".

"I know "said Sam. "Where's the kit Bobby?"

"In the truck "Sam started to say something but Bobby held up a hand "Before you start yellin at me, I thought it might be better to get Dean out of here and into one of the hunting cabins. There's one about a mile back down the road. I took the liberty of opening it up on the way here and I figure if we can get Dean there we can warm him up and get him stable before we start the trek to hospital.'

Sam pulled in a large breath to argue the point and then thought for a second. It would be better to get Dean out of here and get his wounds stitched up before going to much further, as tight as the bandages were, Dean was still losing blood. And like Bobby said they could get Dean stable enough to travel further it would be better in one of the cabins as opposed to trying to do it here, which was damp and cold. He was starting to get very cold himself in just a T shirt. And it was off season, so no game hunters around. Sam knew the abandoned land here had become something of an extension of the surrounding forest in the last few years, and game hunters were thick on the ground during open season. Sam had to admit Bobby was experienced it tending to hunters wounds and knew what he was talking about.

"Ok, good idea Bobby, thanks".

They spent the next few minutes getting Dean onto the stretcher as best they could supporting his back, neck and head, and tying him down with the blankets. Sam put his jacket back on but left his shirt under Dean's head. They gently maneuvered the stretcher on to the back of Bobby's truck and then Bobby went back inside quickly to grab the bags. Sam had time to notice a black and white oxygen tank chained to on side of the flat bed. Good old Bobby, he could get just about anything, Sam was sure. Sam stayed in the back with Dean to try to keep him as still as possible, as they moved slowly down the road to the vacant hunting cabin. Sam saw the head lights of the truck sweep the front of the cabin and as Bobby had said the front door stood open. Dean didn't move all the way there and Sam kept a constant vigil on his vital signs and held his right hand. Once Bobby backed the truck up to the door the hunters grabbed the stretcher again and moved into the cabin where an old oil lamp stood in the middle of the floor to light the way. In the main room was also a single bed with a ratty old mattress and an even more worn blanket thrown over it. "Thanks for getting it ready, Bobby" said Sam. He was grateful for the older hunters cool under pressure.

They laid Dean on the bed, and Bobby went straight out to the truck for the medical supplies. Sam found a bucket in the corner and filled it with water from the small rusty sink. As he returned to Dean, Bobby came in with a duffle bag of supplies.

"I guess we should be glad the medical centre was there at all it was so small, all I could get for pain relief was Demerol and not much' said Bobby holding up a small glass bottle Sam recognized as Pethidine."They didn't even have morphine and I'm out at the moment, so we will have to use it sparingly, and we will have to sedate him for the trip to hospital".

Sam gave Dean a small dose of Pethidine by injection. Bobby pulled the oxygen tank from the truck and set to work cracking the cylinder by removing the plastic dust seal and placed the key wheel spanner on key wheel then turning anti clockwise, he then closed the cylinder and set up the apparatus checking the seals and gauges as he went. When he had the regulator the flow rate controller, the tubing and face mask set up he turned on the oxygen adjusted the flow rate and placed the mask on Dean's face. Then Bobby helped Sam lay out the first aid supplies .Sam and Bobby spent the next hour cleaning and suturing Dean up and replacing bandages. It was slow work and Sam was constantly stopping to check Dean's vitals, not that Bobby could fault him, Bobby knew Dean was in a bad way.

"A pity they didn't have any blood at the clinic" Bobby muttered to Sam as they worked "Kid sure looks like he could use some". Bobby was thinking about the blood that had been on the floor of the basement.

"We just have to get him out of here as soon as we can" Sam murmured back.

Once they were done they removed all the dirty bandages and cleaned up a bit. Bobby checked the regulator and Sam kept watch over his brother, the night's events catching up with him and making him feel quite tired. They didn't want to light even a small fire because of the oxygen so they got as many blankets as they could and covered Dean up. Bobby left to walk back up to the abandoned children's centre to get the Impala, and left Sam watching Dean.

Bobby mused over the fact that Dean and Sam had found the Harpy's nest up here when Bobby didn't even get close to tracking it. But then Dean always was a great tracker, taught by his dad and surpassed him at the tender age of 15. That's what you get from learning to be a hunter so early he guessed. Hunting had done so much damage to the Winchester family and here they were going through it all over again. Life was so damn hard on some people. But if the hunting life had one advantage at this point for Dean it would be how tough he is now. Bobby knew that if a 'civyy' had fallen that far it would be all over but if one thing Bobby had learned about the Winchesters it was how stubborn they were. And Dean would do anything for his brother and wouldn't want to leave him alone in this world particularly since their father died not 6 months ago.

Sam was stroking Dean's arm softly when he heard the Impala coming toward the cabin. He stretched and moved to check Deans vitals, then started when he realised Dean had no pause and was not breathing. Sam quickly pulled the blankets off and rolled Dean over and started CPR again with two breaths, then moved to start compressions. After Sam's second round of breathing he resumed compressions as Bobby came in the door.

"What the hell" Bobby yelled. He raced over to Dean's head to check his vitals.

"Anything?" Said Sam, between compressions.

" No, keep going".

Sam kept going and was about to move over to give Dean more breaths when Dean coughed shallowly and sharply, shooting a small amount of blood out of his mouth onto his face. Both Sam and Bobby released breaths they didn't know they had been holding. Sam looked at Dean's face, his eyes fluttered for a couple of seconds and he groaned low and painful.

" Dean, I'm here buddy, keep fighting ok? Bobby's here and we are going to get you to hospital now, ok Dean?" Sam called to Dean holding his right hand in his. There was a much lighter (if possible) squeeze from Dean and his eyes roamed slowly, barely open searching for his brother. Sam pushed his nose onto Deans looking into his green eyes, "I'm here, I'm not leaving you" Sam was overjoyed to get a soft "mmy" from Dean be it slurred and full of pain. Sam was just happy Dean knew he was there for him.

"Yeah Dean you're doing great, keep fighting buddy". Dean uttered a soft weak groan and his eyes fluttered shut and his breathing evened out. Bobby adjusted the oxygen flow on the mask and placed it gently back over Deans face.

Sam and Bobby monitored Dean's vitals closely for the next 5 minutes. Dean's vitals seemed the same, albeit low, and they knew they had to get Dean to hospital as soon as they could. Sam went through Dean's belongings to find his latest and best ID and insurance that would cover Dean for as long as possible whilst he was in hospital. Sam and Bobby discussed they story they had for Deans condition because normal people just didn't sew each other up. They came up with a story of the boys doing some camping in the forest and Dean falling down an old mine shaft and not being able to get Dean out by himself Sam having to stitch Dean up himself least he bleed to death. Bobby came to join them at the campsite only to find Sam yelling for help. Then Sam and Bobby prepped the truck for the trip to hospital. Sam knew that they had waited as long as they dared Dean was so pale Sam was worried about the blood loss, even though they had both been in situations where the had lost fair amounts of blood Sam knew this must be some kind of record as far as blood loss went . Sam was glad at this point his brother grew up tough and was such a fighter, most people would have given up a long time ago. It was just another thing Sam loved about his brother, as annoying and obnoxious as Dean could be he still had so many 'Dean' quality's that made Sam happy to be around him. Their dad's death had taken a toll on them both but they still had each other, through thick and thin. They loaded Dean with all the medical supplies they thought they would need and the oxygen bottle with the mask on Dean's face for the journey but the cylinder covered up with a tarpaulin. Sam used the last of the Demerol on Dean and tried to make him as comfortable as possible.

It was a long trip for Sam, even though Dean was out for most of the trip Sam felt every pothole and bump in the road for his brother. Toward the end of the trip Dean woke groaning in pain but not opening his eyes. Sam patted his brother's face and talked to him softly assuring him they would have help very soon. When they reached the hospital Bobby ran inside and came out quickly with two nurses and a hospital gurney. Sam had the mask and blankets off his brother and ready to move him when they appeared. Sam and Bobby helped the nurses carefully lift Dean onto the bed talking to him all the while even though he was out again. The nurses rushed the stretcher toward the hospital door but before they got there, two doctors in white coats came rushing over and started checking Dean over yelling questions to Sam and Bobby. Sam tried to remember the story they had put together all the while worrying about his brother, who the doctors and nurses were now swarming over. Sam rushed after his brother as they pushed him into the hospital, suddenly one of doctors placed a mask over Dean's face and the other doctor began compressions on Dean's sternum. Dean had flat lined again. The gurney was pushed through a set of swinging doors with STAFF ONLY written on them. Sam made to follow his brother through but was restrained by two male nurses.

"That's my _brother"´ _yelled Sam trying to push his way through to Dean "you have to let me be with my brother ".


	5. Chapter 5 Wait

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

Chapter 5 Wait

"I'm sorry sir you are going to have to _calm_ down" said an unknown male voice to Sam's right.

"The Doctors will see you as soon as they can" Sam felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to find Bobby looking at him.

"Come on Sam lets let them do their job, we don't want to get thrown out now do we?" Bobby pushed Sam gently over to some blue plastic chairs and sat them both down. Sam looked at the double doors that his brother had been taken through with tears in his eyes.

An agonizing half hour later, one of the nurses that had been with Dean came over to Sam and Bobby with a clipboard of paper work for Sam to fill out.

"Please, is Dean OK?" Sam pleaded to the nurse.

"We got him breathing and he is being prepped for surgery" the nurse smiled kindly at Sam. When Sam was finishing the paperwork using Deans fake IDs a Doctor, who introduced himself as Dr Jenkins, came over and spoke to Sam and Bobby about how Dean got his injuries. Sam and Bobby went though the story they had made up at the cabin about Dean falling down an old mine shaft and that they couldn't get Dean out quickly so had to do as much first aid as they could at the wilderness area. The Doctor seemed to accept what the hunters told him and made notes on a clipboard.

"Doctor, Can I see my brother?" said Sam.

"Well your brother is having X-Rays, and will then go straight into surgery" said Dr Jenkins.

"What surgery is Dean having?" said Sam anxiously.

"Well at the moment the trauma to his chest and head are the most worrying. They are conducive to a fall from some height and he may have hit his head on the way down. So is the amount of bruising he has , we have to check his spine for trauma, I know you said he fell on his front but there is significant bruising to warrant examination. His spleen is damaged and looks like it may have to come out and his liver and kidneys have both taken a battering, he also has some broken ribs. He has a fractured skull and fairly bad concussion and at this stage the pressure on the brain is being monitored. Then there is the significant blood loss so we have started a transfusion and the broken arm to be set. We'll know more when the X-rays are back and then we can treat him as soon as possible. Now you and your uncle can wait in the waiting room next to recovery if you like. I will have a nurse take you there in a few minutes."

"Thanks Doctor" Sam handed Dr Jenkins the paperwork he had been filling out and he took it with a smile and said "don't worry we will look after your brother".

And with that he turned and went back though the doors. Even though Sam liked the Doctor for his honesty, Sam felt himself tear up again at the staggering amount of injuries he had just described. Bobby slipped an arm around the young hunter and pulled him back to the plastic chairs.

"Don't forget your brother is one hell of a fighter" Bobby tried to soothe Sam, rubbing his shoulders.

A nurse came shortly after to take Sam and Bobby to another smaller waiting room one floor up. This one had no other people waiting, giving time for Sam and Bobby to get themselves coffee from the coffee urn on the table and settle in for a long day of waiting. There was a TV in one corner and Sam looked at it to stop himself looking at the door marked operating theatre staff only. It wasn't working too well as he keep looking at the doors and catching himself. Bobby was uncharacteristically quiet but made up for it by pacing a track in the carpet between the window, which was now brightening with daylight, and where Sam sat with his foot tapping nervously. "All the times I've spent in this situation and it never gets any easier" Sam thought worriedly.

After three hours of Bobby's pacing getting on Sam's nerves to the point he might actually strangle him, Dr Jenkins came out of the doors in scrubs and walked over to Sam.

"How is he?" said Sam, straight to the point.

"Well, we found Dean was sightly on his left side when he hit the ground so a majority of his injuries are on that side which means, Deans spleen was ruptured so it was removed and his liver and kidneys had been damaged. We did lose him for a few minutes during surgery and we have him on a ventilator to assist his breathing until he is more stable. His vitals are lower than we would like but we are monitoring those pretty closely. He has fractures of the 7th to 10th ribs on his left side but they have received treatment. The fractured skull isn't as bad as we thought, just a hairline but we will keep an eye on it there is still some pressure there and the concussion is pretty severe. He still has a lot of problems, but we are hoping to see him wake up soon, so we can assess the damage in more detail."

"When do you think he will wake up?" queried Sam

"Well in this kind of case it would be better if he could rest for a few of days, to get over the shock you understand, apart from that I would expect him to wake in the next few days or so. Then we can properly measure his pain medication and so forth. I have put him on an antibiotic to ensure he doesn't get an infection, there were quite a lot of cuts and scratches. The bruising he has is also quite severe on his chest and spine. He seems a tough guy. Doesn't want to give up. He has been moved to ICU because of his need of the ventilator. I can take you up there now if you like"

"Yes, Deans as tough as they come, thanks Doctor."said Bobby.

Dr Jenkins led Sam and Bobby up another floor and down a few rabbit warren corridors Bobby was sure he would never find his way out of and into a very quiet corridor with rooms with much more glass instead of wood. There were more beeping and humming machines up here and it made Sam choke down a lump in his throat. They entered a room halfway down the corridor where they found two nurses attending to machines and IV s on either side of the bed. There were no windows in this room and only minimal small lights on in the room. The nurses finished what they were doing and moved quietly from the room. Sam walked slowly up to Deans still form and grabbed his right hand in his own; he looked so helpless and small. His left arm looked impossibly white because of the cast on his forearm and hand, and there were lots of bandages over his body.

"You can talk to him, it may encourage him to hear a familiar voice" said Dr Jenkins kindly.

"Hey buddy, how's my big brother doin?" Sam said softly realising he was crying again, tears leaking down his face.

"You can stay with him as long as you like "said Doctor Jenkins softly.

"Thanks Doc" said Bobby. Sam nodded to the Doctor as he took his leave. Bobby dragged a plastic chair closer to Dean for Sam and then one for himself. Both men stood for a moment looking at their friend, more than a family member to both of them. "Man he looks beat" said Sam softly.

"Yeah" said Bobby softly, "I'm glad we got him here in time, but he'll be up and around in no time."

"And yelling to be let out of here no doubt" said Sam with a soft smile at his brother, tears still falling. Sam and Bobby both sat on the chairs to keep watch over the young hunter, Sam keeping his hand on Deans and giving it a light squeeze.

"We're here Dean, we made it."

Sam and Bobby spent the rest of the day in Dean's room waiting for Dean to show some signs of life. They only left the room when the nurses asked them to, so they change and clean Dean and look after medications and so forth. Sam felt at first ,the coffee in the ICU visiting room was sightly better than in the waiting room downstairs , but by the end of the day he felt it was pretty awful.

As night started to fall Bobby left to make a call and was back half an hour later to say a fellow hunter he knew in the area was going to drop him up at the hunting cabin to get the Impala and clean up any evidence that they had been up there.

"Thanks Bobby" said Sam as Bobby turned to leave.

"No problems Sam, I'll bring you back some food. Anything else you need? Change of clothes maybe?"

"No I'm ok thanks Bobby"

"OK, let me know if there's any change" Bobby left knowing it was going to be hard to get Sam to leave Deans side even for the few minutes it would take to change out of the dirty blood stained clothes he was wearing.

Sam watched the door close behind Bobby and turned back to watch Deans still face. He knew he must look a wreck with Deans blood all over him and his clothes still dirty from the hunt, but he just didn't want to leave Dean long enough to go and change. He noticed some of the nurses were giving him funny looks some sad, some in horror and some just weird. He got up slowly from the chair and leaned over Dean's face and kissed his brother on the forehead."I'll be right back, OK?" Sam whispered to his brother, and walked over to the small washroom in the corner of the room.

"God I must be really tired or going completely soft" he thought to himself "kissing Dean on the head, I'm going mad. Dean would laugh his ass off if he was awake. Or punch me out". He used water from the small sink and numerous paper towels to give himself a quick clean up. He turned his tee shirt inside out so that the blood didn't show as badly. Then he walked back into the room and over to Dean grabbing his right hand again.

"Did you miss me Dean?" He asked in a slightly louder voice, surprised by how his voice sounded dry and cracked. _Way_ too much coffee today. Sam yawned loudly and put his face down on Dean's hand on the bed that was cradled in his own. His back and neck objected to this new position but his eyes felt it was great as they closed and Sam immediately fell in to a light sleep.

Bobby returned later in the night to find Sam asleep with his head on his brothers hand. He didn't have the heart to wake him, but Sam woke anyway to the smell of the food Bobby had bought him.

"Hey Bobby".

"How's the neck?" Bobby chortled as Sam rubbed the kinks out of his neck and stretched his back. Sam took the chicken burger and fries Bobby had bought him and dug in with gusto not realising just how hungry he was. Bobby passed over a large bottle of water which Sam took with thanks and drank a quarter of the bottle without stopping. After letting out a large burp much to Bobby's amusement, Sam looked over at Dean and noticed something was missing.

"Hey Bobby, the bloods gone". Sure enough the bag of blood was missing from the IV pole where it had been, it must have been removed while Sam was sleeping next to his brother. "That has to be good right?"

"I think your brothers on the improve" said Bobby.

The next three days passed in much the same way. Sam napping with his head on Dean's hand and Bobby snoring lightly in a chair on the other side. Eventually Sam got Bobby to leave and go get a room at the Motel across the street from the hospital. Sam knew Bobby wasn't sleeping well and was getting grumpy because of all the beeping machines in the room. Dean's condition seemed to be the same without much change at all. On the third day Deans Doctor came to see Sam.

"Sam we would like to do some tests on Dean "he started.

"What's the problem?"

"Well, we expected to some improvement with Dean by now, but he is using the ventilator more not less so I think there may be more damage to his kidney than we thought. We can do an IVP examination to see what damage there is – it just an x-ray examination of the kidneys that uses iodinated contrast material injected into veins. With any luck we can treat any problems with medication".

"Ok, just do what you have to get Dean better" Sam said quietly.

_TBC_


	6. Chapter 6 Wake

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

Chapter 6 Wake

Bobby returned to the room just as the nurses were wheeling Dean's bed out to have him X-rayed.

"What's goin on?" he said worriedly, pushing his hat back on his head.

"Its OK Bobby, they are just taking him for an X-ray. The Doctor thinks Dean's kidney is holding him back from recovering. They are going to have a look and see. He will be gone about an hour."

"Oh, ok then" said Bobby looking slightly more relaxed. "Here take this and go get a shower and a shave, your bag and clean clothes are there." Sam looked down to see Bobby holding out a Motel key with a 6 stamped on it.

"But …" stammered Sam.

"His just getting an X ray, I'll be here, go on you need some clean clothes on at least boy". Bobby shoved the key in Sam's hand and pushed him out the door and toward the exit to the ward.

"St James Inn, It's across the road can't miss it, room six. I will see you in an hour." "Thanks Bobby" Sam said weakly, feeling slightly corralled into this.

"Yeah, Yeah" waved Bobby heading back to the visitor's room for some more coffee.

Sam squinted against the harsh sunlight; it was hard to believe he had been inside for more than 4 days. It felt so bright and foreign out here, when he should be inside with Dean. He walked across the parking lot of the motel and there she was outside door number 6, the Impala. For some reason seeing her down here alone, without Dean, made Sam kind of sad. He leaned against the driver's door looking into where Dean usually sat. All the memories they had in that car, it was like a family member. Sam took a deep breath and turned and walked over to the motel room unlocked it and walked in. There were two beds and each one had a duffle bag on the end of it. He opened his bag slowly looking sadly over at Deans and pulled some clean clothes out. Sam grabbed his shaving kit and headed for the shower.

Bobby looked up in time to see Sam lopping towards him down the corridor. Except for the frown on his face the kid looked a lot better.

"Well you look better" said Bobby in way of greeting.

"Yeah, it's amazing what a shower a shave and some fresh clothes will do for you, thanks Bobby" said Sam he gave Bobby a slight smile, the first one since they meet after Deans accident.

"Is Dean back yet?"

"No, not yet"

"Want a Coffee?" asked Bobby.

"No thanks, Bobby" said Sam repressing a shudder, he felt like his blood was made of coffee, he had drunk that much of it lately.

Dr Jenkins appeared and walked towards the men "Ok, Sam" he said addressing Sam. "The IVP showed Deans kidney has a small laceration so we need to get him back into surgery now and get it repaired. I think we will find Dean will improve quickly once this is done, it's not big but it is enough to keep him in shock and with the internal bleeding and make it hard for him to recover. I need you to sign some papers so we can do this as soon as we can; he's being prepped for surgery now."

"Ok" Sam took the paperwork and read it over and signed in the appropriate place. "Is this dangerous surgery?" Sam asked.

"Normally not no, but Deans still on ventilation so we will have to be very careful with him. We wouldn't perform the surgery if there was any way we could avoid it Sam. We have to fix this for Dean to get better."

"Ok" nodded Sam. "Can I see him before he goes in?" Dr Jenkins pursed his lips and looked at his watch.

"There might just be time, come with me" he marched off in the direction of the lift and Sam hurried behind. Bobby stayed at Dean's room.

After numerous small passages and 'staff entry only doors' they got to a room with two wood and stainless steel doors marked operating staff only. Dr Jenkins said "wait here" and entered the door. He returned a moment later and ushered Sam into a quiet, brightly lit room. Dr Jenkins led Sam to the corner near another door and there was Dean looking almost the same as Sam had last seen him except the covers were pulled down to Dean's waist and his chest was bare. The machines were still attached and they sat next to the bed.

"You've got a couple of minutes "said the doctor and moved away from Sam and back the way he had come. The left side of Dean's chest had stitches in several places and an iodine strip painted down the center of stitches that to Sam looked like the Doctors had done after Dean's last operation.

"Hey Buddy" said Sam softly gripping Dean's right hand again. "Hey big brother, you're going in for a little operation and then you're going to come out and get better for me ok?" Sam brushed his other hand over Dean's cheek, those damn tears coming back to his eyes. It was hard seeing Dean lying so still, normally so vibrant and itching for activity. "Dean, Bobby and I will be waiting for you in your room ok? Make sure you get back there as soon as you can." Sam saw the Doctor re-enter the room in scrubs with a nurse in tow and bent down and quickly kissed Deans forehead. "I'll see you soon big brother".

"Nurse Jones will take you back to Deans room, I will come and see you when Deans in recovery, should be 30 to 45 minutes" said Dr Jenkins.

"Thanks Doctor". Sam let the nurse lead him out of the room but not without a glance back at his brother.

Sam and Bobby waited back at Dean's room for word on how the operation had gone. Sam could tell Bobby was fed up to the back teeth with waiting, he was letting out little huffs off displeasure every five minutes. After thirty minutes of this Sam started talking to Bobby about some of the hunts they had done lately and soon Bobby was telling stories of his own. Sam realized they were trying to take each others minds of the waiting around because deep down they both knew there would be more waiting to come. Sam looked at his watch again and found that had been over an hour since he had left Dean. Bobby noticed the look and found yet another story in his bag to tell Sam and take his mind off the time. After 90 minutes of waiting Dr Jenkins appeared in the doorway. He offered the hunters a small smile and stepped in closer to talk to them. "Well, we repaired the laceration but it was slow going with Dean in his current condition. He's in recovery and doing ok at the moment. He should be back down in thirty minutes or so. I would like to do another IVP tomorrow just to make sure everything is ok but we will see how he goes overnight".

'Thanks doctor' said both men together. Dean was brought back down forty five minutes later and both men went to the visitors lounge to stretch their legs while the nursing staff put Dean back in his room.

Sam took back his place at Dean's side holding his right hand. Bobby looked at Dean from the other side of the bed; he had the same machines and IVs as before. Somehow he looked even paler now to Bobby ,but he didn't want to voice his opinion to Sam as he felt the young hunter was just hanging on as it was. Sam stroked Deans face with his hand, not worried what Bobby might think. The things they had been through together made them more that just brothers. Dean had been his Father, Mother, Brother, Best friend and teacher among many other things at various points in his life and Sam knew it was time he was there for Dean after all the times he was there for Sam. Even though Dean had loved his father and was fanatically loyal, when Sam and John had fought Dean was always in between them breaking them up no matter how painful it was for Dean to see his family fight. And when the time came for Sam to go to university, Sam couldn't believe it when Dean fought for him against his own father for Sam's freedom.

"Hey Dean, you're back with us, keep fighting big brother, I know you can. Look Bobby's here too".

"Hey Dean, you gonna open those pretty eyes of yours and let us see ya?"

"Bobby!" said Sam surprised.

"I'm just trying to get him to open his eyes" smirked Bobby crossing his arms over his chest. Bobby went for more coffee and Sam lowered his head to Dean's right hand and fell asleep straight away. Sam's dreams, or nightmares, certainly weren't lollypops and candy canes. It was Dean falling through the roof of the children's home from various different angles including one where he almost grabbed Dean's feet as he fell down. He woke up gasping several times but he can't have screamed as he did in the dream because Bobby was still asleep in the other chair. They spent the next two days like this Sam sleeping in short stints by Dean's hand, Bobby going off to sleep at the motel every now and again. When Sam wasn't asleep he was checking Dean for signs of improvement and Sam felt that some slight color was finally returning to Dean's face.

Dean felt darkness and pain for what seemed like the hundredth time in a few days. He felt heavy and dull and weighed down by an invisible force. At times he thought he heard Sam talking to him a couple of times Bobby and now and again voices he didn't know. But as time wore on he felt less panicked and more surreal. Had to be the drugs, he thought when he could put coherent thoughts together. He opened his heavy eyes a crack and saw the room he was in was fairly dark. There was a heaviness in his limbs that was not felt in his head and abdomen. He had a nice headache, one of the better ones he had ever felt, and as the darkness backed away more and he took in his surroundings he felt the pull of stitches and the pain of broken ribs his left side. His eyes closed, tired already with the effort to stay open for those few seconds. Just before his body threatened to take him down to sleep again his brain brightened for a second and registered that he had not seen Sam when he had opened his eyes. His brain started to panic and pushed for more clarity looking for his brother. Where was Sam? Is he ok? He could vaguely remember Sam talking to him but when had that been? His drug addled brain was not helping so he did the only thing he could. He concentrated with all his strength, or what strength he had, on opening his eyes again. At first it felt like a monumental effort, they just didn't want to cooperate. His brain was making it hard to focus on his eyes, it just wanted more sleep but he refused to obey. After what felt like hours his eyes cracked open just enough to see the darkened room again. He looked frantically for Sam but now his damn eyeballs wouldn't move fast enough. Finally to his right he saw the top of a dark brown mop of hair. Sammy! He would know that kids unruly hair anywhere. He concentrated all his effort on his right hand as it seemed to be close to Sam's slumped form somewhere. It took SO much effort to slowly curl the fingers for just a few seconds. He couldn't feel what the fingers where curling into as they felt numb and detached.

Dean was rewarded with Sam sitting up quickly and looking into Dean's face with a huge grin. "Hey Dean, you're awake, about time you had us all worried there buddy". Dean felt his right hand squeezed and returned it with as much strength as he could , it felt slightly easier because he had Sam's squeezing fingers to focus on. Sam's smile couldn't have been bigger as he squeezed Dean's hand in return; he put his hand on Dean's face patting him gently.

"Hey big brother it's great to see you awake, Bobby's here, we've been waiting for you to wake up dude". Dean focused as hard as he could as Bobby appeared over Sam's shoulder.

"Hey Dean, great to see you awake boy". Bobby's voice was surprisingly gentle and Sam's eyes, he noticed were brimming over with tears. He thought he might have felt a couple fall on his arm and he gave Sam's hand another light squeeze and felt himself falling back into sleep. There was no stopping it this time he was exhausted from the small effort, which felt huge to him, that he had put out. He nodded off feeling happier that he had seen Sam and he was ok.

"Wow" said Sam enthusiastically. "Dean was awake". Sam felt like he had been holding his breath for the last few days and was finally able to let it out. Bobby too looked like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

"That's great Sam" said Bobby and threw his arms around Sam in an unexpected hug. Both men pulled away at the same time tears welling in their eyes and smiles on their faces. At that moment a nurse entered the room giving the men a quick glance before looking back with a small confused smile at the smiles on their faces. Sam noticed the look. "Oh, ah ...Dean was awake"

"Oh" said the nurse looking less confused now and going over to check the machines at Dean's bedside.

"Yeah, he looked at us and squeezed my hand" said Sam happily.

The nurse smiled at Sam and headed toward the door. "That's great news, I will go and page Doctor Jenkins and let him know."

"Thanks" said Sam.

Dr Jenkins entered the room ten minutes later and checked the machines and then gave Dean a once over and went out to the hallway where the hunters were waiting expectantly while the doctor did his examination. "Well, there is definite improvement; he is using the ventilator a lot less and his starting to show some response. This is very good news but, Just be warned, Sam, that it is a slow road to recovery, it will take a while before Deans up on his feet". Sam knew the doctor was telling Sam he was going to have to have more patience in regards to Deans recovery.

"It's ok doctor, we will be here for Dean as long as it takes" Sam assured him.

Over the next three days Dean had small periods of consciousness where he opened his eyes and squeezed Sam's hand , but apart from that he didn't move at all just the squeezing and eye opening seemed to take all Deans strength. Late one night Bobby had gone back to the hotel to have a sleep and change of clothes after unsuccessfully trying to get Sam to go have a shower and change. Sam hadn't left Deans side since his kidney operation and was starting to get some serious stubble. Even Dean had less stubble than Sam because the nurses were shaving Dean every couple of days with an electric shaver to keep his face clean because of the ventilator. Bobby was starting to make noises about Sam smelling but he could care less at this stage. He had nodded off against Dean's arm again, when he felt his hand being squeezed. He raised his head and looked into Dean's eyes and could have sworn Dean was trying to tell him something with the look he was giving him. Dean's eyes seem much more animated than they had been over the last couple of days. Even though they were still only half open they had brightness to them that had been missing since he had woken up.

"Hey Dean, what is it? Are you ok?" Sam felt inclined to ask the questions even though Dean couldn't answer them. Dean proceeded to blink rather slowly at Sam. Sam hadn't seen Dean blink like this since had woken up , it was normally such a fight for him to keep his eyes open , but this looked more deliberate, like Dean was trying to say something through his eyes to Sam.

"Hey it's ok Dean, I'm here for you, its ok" Sam soothed. Dean squeezed Sam's hand with all the strength he had which still wasn't much but Sam appreciated the gesture and squeezed Deans hand back.

"Its ok buddy just take your time, I will wait for you." Sam petted Dean's face as he tried to reassure Dean. Dean's eyes fluttered closed again but before his eyes closed completely Sam caught a flash of emotion in Dean's eyes. He could have sworn Dean looked ….pissed off?

**_TBC_**

* * *

Hi There- I just wanted to say thanks to those who took the time to review this story. It means alot as its my first story.


	7. Chapter 7 Scruff

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

Chapter 7 Scruff

Later that night Sam left Deans room for a moment to use the bathroom. When he returned his heart leaped in his chest when he saw there were two nurses in Dean's room working with a panic over Dean's head. Sam moved quickly to Dean's side to see what was going on. It seemed Dean was sick of the ventilator and wanted it out, NOW. He was using his right hand to pull at the tubing that was down his throat. Even though it was taped and bandaged on and Dean was very weak he seemed to be doing a good job, although it was making him gag doing it. The nurses were trying to calm him down but it seemed to be making it worse. Sam stepped up and lowered his face down onto Deans and said loudly "Dean, stop struggling, just relax. Dean you have to relax you are hurting yourself".

Dean's eyes were shut but the struggling slowed down and one of the nurses turned and addressed another nurse who had just entered the room. "We need to sedate him can you get Dr Taro?" the nurse left quickly.

Dean had calmed down slightly but was still making weak efforts to remove the tubing. Sam grabbed Dean's hand and soothed his brother softly; "Its ok Dean just relax, its ok".

After a few minutes a Doctor entered the room and talked to the nurses. He gave Dean an injection and explained to Sam that it was just to calm him down for his own safety. The Doctor looked at the machines and checked the ventilator over. Dean was still again, the injection having worked quickly.

Dr Taro then turned and addressed Sam "Well Sam" said the doctor after Sam introduced himself, "Your brother seems to want off the ventilator in no uncertain terms. Looking at his readings I'm inclined to agree we should be able to take him off and have a nasal cannula in place and see how he goes. I will give Dr Jenkins a call before I do so as he is Dean's physician, even though he is off duty tonight. Do you have any problems or questions about us doing that?"

"No, No that's fine, as long as Dean is alright" said Sam.

"Ok, I will give Dr Jenkins a call" Sam sat with Dean while he waited for the Doctor to return, he looked much more relaxed his face slack with his drug induced sleep. Sam's heart was going back to his normal rhythm now that Dean was settled but he was still worried about his brother and stroked his arm softly. Dr Taro returned shortly and told Sam that he had been given the ok to remove the ventilator from his brother. Sam waited outside while the Doctor and two nurses worked on removing the machine.

Thirty five minutes later Sam was allowed back in with his brother. Dr Taro explained to Sam that Dean was doing well with the cannula but he would be monitored to see how things went. The doctor had also given Dean a light sedative to help him sleep for a few hours to help his body get used not having the ventilator anymore. After thanking the doctor Sam went over to Dean, he looked blissful and calm and much better without the tubes in his mouth. Sam noticed Dean's lips looked dry, swollen and chapped but it was still a great improvement in Sam's eyes. Now that he could see Deans full face he noticed the toll the accident had been on his brother. Dean had some wicked bags under his eyes, only highlighted by the bruising on his forehead. Sam held Deans hand again and rubbed his fingers over his big brothers face. "Hey Buddy" Sam intoned softly "look at you, you'll be up and around in no time. I think I know what you were pissed off about now hey? That damn machine, well I'm glad it's gone too" Sam sighed and sank down in the chair. He watched his brothers peaceful face for almost an hour before he put his head on the bed next to Dean's hand. Sam just had time to think Dean's stubbornness might make a lively recovery period when he fell into a restless sleep.

"Good morning, sleepyhead" said Bobby jovially to Sam the next morning.

"What time is it?" said Sam grumpily, yawning widely and stretching at the same time.

"Its about seven" said Bobby looking over to Dean "Hey where's his…..?' he trailed off, looking surprised at Deans more upright position in the bed.

"Yeah Dean tried to take the ventilator out late last night so the doctor took it out. Said he was doing so well he wouldn't need it any more. They put this cannula thing in instead, said he should do ok with that"

"Stubborn son of a bitch" growled Bobby softly "did he hurt himself?"

"I don't think so; doc said he might have a sore throat. Lucky he is still really weak".

"Well thank heaven for that, has he been awake since then?"

"No they sedated him so he could get used to the new setup".

"Well he looks comfortable" said Bobby stepping closer to Dean. "Anyway have some breakfast". Bobby pulled some sandwiches and water out of his duffle bag for Sam to eat.

"Thanks Bobby" said Sam with a smile at the older hunter.

"You wanna go have a shower and a shave? I can keep an eye on Dean for a while, he's sleeping anyway."

"No, I might go later though".

"Yeah sure" said Bobby not believing for a minute Sam would leave Dean once he woke up.

Late that afternoon Dean woke slowly and looked around the room. There was Bobby nodding sleepily on a chair on one side of the bed and Sam was asleep on his right hand. Dean found he could move his head a little now that he didn't have tubes sticking down his throat. Speaking of throat it hurt like he had been gargling razor blades, egh. Dean moved his head slightly to the right and was rewarded with some black spots and dizziness, fantastic. He concentrated on his right hand and was able to pull it out slowly from under Sam's head. He reached up slowly and plunked his hand rather roughly on Sam's head, even thought he meant to do it gently it seemed he didn't have much control as yet.

Sam started to stir slowly, and Dean used all the control he could to roughly run his hand through Sam's hair and then his hand thumped down to the bed. Sam looked up at Dean and then stood up slowly as if he was afraid of startling his brother.

"Hey Dean, How you feeling buddy?" Dean noticed a fair bit of concern in his brother's voice and gave his brother a weak smile. It did the job because Sam positively beamed back at Dean. Sam grabbed Dean's right hand again and was surprised by the strength his brother gripped his hand back with. Dean used Sam's surprise to pull Sam closer to him. Dean moved his face toward his brother and getting the message, Sam bent down low, his ear near Dean's mouth. "hank ammy" Dean managed to squeeze out. It caused him a lot of pain but it was worth it just to see Sam smile back at him with tears in his eyes.

" Its aright Dean , hey you're my big brother right, I owe you a million times more than I could ever give you back. I'll never give up on you." Dean swallowed and tried to speak again but all that came out was a very dry strangled noise.

"Hey, your throat must be sore I'll get you some water, be right back". Sam left to get Dean a drink from the nurse's station but came back with a cup full of ice chips. "Hey buddy, the nurse said to start with these and see how you go ok?" Dean nodded slowly but stopped after just two nods, the dizziness just too much to take. Sam propped Dean up with another pillow and fed ice chips to his big brother letting him take his time so he wouldn't choke. Halfway through the cup Bobby woke up and looked over to see Dean slightly propped up leaning slightly on his brother whilst Sam fed him ice chips like a mother bird feeding a chick. Bobby's low chuckle let them know he was awake.

"Hey Dean, how you feeling?" Bobby was surprised when Dean gave him a slow wink.

"That good, hey? You'll be up chasing nurses around in no time".

"Don't give him any ideas Bobby" rumbled Sam. When the cup of ice was finished Sam bent over Dean to take the pillow away and lay him down again but Dean reached up to Sam's face with his right hand and put his fingers through Sam's stubble. Sam pulled back in surprise, looking into Deans bright green eyes he saw a hint of a smirk there. Dean leaned slowly forward and to the side slightly and whispered what sounded like "scruff" in Sam's ear.

Over the next four days Dean continued to spend more time awake even though he was not speaking much because of his sore throat but the movement of his head and right arm was getting much better. He didn't move his left arm looking at it like a traitor, how it dare be broken, utterly useless, ok the broken ribs and numerous stitches didn't help either. Dr Jenkins came to see him and said they were ready to move him out of ICU to the next floor down as most of his monitors were out and they took the nasal cannula off and started him on light foods, basically mush to Dean.

The day he was to be moved downstairs Sam had finally gone to the hotel and had a shower, shave and change of clothes mainly because Dean drove him to it. Over the four days Dean would wake up and if Sam was asleep with his head on Dean's bed, Dean would pull his hand out of Sam's and rub his fingers over Sam's stubble. Sam would wake up confused until he worked out what was going on. At first he thought Dean was doing it to piss him off so he would go have a shave, because after it happened Dean would always have a small smile on his lips. After a few of days of it Sam _was_ starting to get pissed off with it when he realized it wasn't a cocky Dean Winchester smart arse smile , it was a "this is weird I've never seen it before smile". Of course Dean _had _never seen Sam with facial hair because he just never let his face grow for more than a day or so. But that was not what made Sam have a shave and shower. Sam had left the room with Bobby while the nurses gave Dean his daily clean up and get him ready for his move downstairs. When they returned to the room Dean was propped up on pillows and Sam went over and gave his brother a hug. He couldn't help it he was doing it as often as he could, he didn't care if Dean grumbled (which he hadn't yet) about it he just had to do it to make sure his brother was ok. As he hugged Dean he said "Do you feel better now Dean?"

To his surprise Dean grabbed his arm and said roughly in Sam's ear "You're turn".

Sam looked at him in surprise and joked "You telling me I smell?"

"No" said Dean and pointed at the door.

"Come on Dean, I'm perfectly fine, I'll have a shower later"

"Now" is all that Dean said. He settled back in his pillows and closed his eyes one arm across his chest like he was prepared to stay like that forever. Sam looked from Bobby to Dean and back again, feeling a bit like a fish, his mouth was opening and closing but nothing was coming out.

"He has a point you know" said Bobby quietly.

"You're meant to be on my side Bobby".

"I ain't picking sides Sam, just telling it like it is".

"Fine" huffed Sam he stalked up to Dean and kissed him wetly on the forehead. Dean opened his eyes in surprise. "_You _will behave while I am gone, got it?" Sam said, pointing at his brother. Dean put his right and over his heart and then raised that hand with two fingers in his own version of cross my heart and hope to die salute. "Yeah, right" Sam sighed and stomped off to the motel for a shower and shave.

Sam got back 45 minutes later to find Bobby drinking more coffee and reading a magazine, and Dean in the same position he had left him in but with his eyes closed in sleep. Sam walked up to his brother slowly taking in his appearance, his face seemed to be at peace and much better with a lot of the bruising gone and the dark circles almost gone. Even though Deans throat was still sore his lips were back to being plump and red again all traces of their former dryness gone. Since he woke Dean had been drinking like he was making up for all the water he had missed while he was unconscious. Dean almost looked angelic, dare he say, lying back on the pillows, even with his hair sticking up everywhere, it suited him. As Sam smiled down at his brother Dean woke and with his impossibly green shinning eyes, looked straight into Sam's eyes like had known he was there. Sam felt a stab of guilt, feeling like a deer in the headlights and uncomfortable at been caught staring at his brother like that, but Dean just smiled up at Sam happy to see him even if the absence had been a short one. Sam let his love for his brother rule his brain and bent down and hugged his brother carefully letting him know he missed him too. To Sam's surprise Dean put his good arm around Sam hugging him back; he stroked the right side of his face against Sam's now smooth cheek and whispered in his ear "You look _much _better".


	8. Chapter 8 Legs

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

Chapter 8 Legs

Later that day Dean was moved downstairs and Sam was overjoyed to find he was in a room of his own. It looked like the insurance they had used was still working well. Bobby had decided it was time to head home and after seeing Dean to his new room he hugged the boys and made his way out. When Bobby had left Sam said to Dean "We should get him something for helping us out, he was great helping me get you here".

"Got any ideas?" queried Dean softly.

"No, but I'll think on it".

In the afternoon Dean asked the nurse on duty for a permanent black marker and was happy to be given a new pack of five different colors which he gave to Sam who looked at Dean with his eyebrows raised.

"Come round here" Dean pointed to the left side of the bed and Sam walked around not sure what Dean had in mind. Dean pointed to the chair on that side of the bed and Sam pulled it over and sat down. Dean pulled the blankets off his left arm and said "Go to it Michelangelo".

"What Dean …..You want me to write on your cast?" The cast was still white and clean from being under blankets most of the time.

"Actually I though you might draw me a nice picture, but no nudes thanks" Dean tried his best at an eyebrow wiggle that didn't quite come off.

Sam spent the next couple of days drawing on Deans cast with Dean encouraging him all the way, it was a true brotherly bonding moment except that they were in hospital. Dean stayed awake longer and was watching TV with Sam, and generally feeling better. His upper mobility was getting much better but Dean didn't seem to want to get out of bed yet which surprised Sam a little that Dean was being so good , he would normally be climbing the walls to escape by now . Maybe, Sam mused to himself, this accident had been the one that made Dean think "I could have died this time; I got to be more careful."

One afternoon Sam woke up after another neck stiffening nap at Dean's bedside. When he woke he felt Dean's eyes on him as he stretched the kinks out of his neck and back. While he stretched Dean raised the head of his bed up with the controller so that his back was vertical to his legs. Dean patted the space on the bed next to him inviting Sam to come sit with him. Sam moved to get up behind Dean and hold Dean up but Dean slipped his arm around behind Sam and put him in front of him so that Sam's back was against the right side of Dean's chest. Dean pulled Sam to him so that Sam's head rested under Dean's chin. Dean for the first time used both his arms to hug Sam being careful not to hurt Sam with his plaster cast. Sam was also surprised that Dean was using his broken arm it was the first time he had seen him do it. "Are you sure you're alright to do that "said Sam touching Deans left arm gently.

"Its ok Sam" said Dean softly "My side is feeling better".

Dean just wanted Sam to feel loved and appreciated. He knew his brother hadn't slept in a real bed for weeks and had been keeping a bed side vigil without thinking about his own health at all. Sam leaned back softly into Deans embrace and nuzzled his face into Dean's neck.

"You need to look after your self little brother" Dean spoke softly to Sam "at least until I'm up and around again".

"I know" sighed Sam.

"Well you're not doing a very good job buddy" joked Dean.

"Hey I'm meant to be comforting you, you're the one in hospital, and how did you turn that around so quickly?"

"It's my job as a big brother".

"What to drive your little brother crazy?"

"No, to look _after_ my little brother" Dean pressed a soft kiss on Sam's forehead. Sam was a little freaked at Deans sudden loving outlook , but he would take it when he could get it , he was sure Dean would be back to "normal" soon and calling Sam an emo at any display of affection.

Dean moved his right hand up to Sam's shoulder and gently pushed him forward and rubbed the right trapezium muscle with his right thumb and Sam just _melted_ into Dean's touch. Dean always knew Sam's sore points he could read him like an open book, and those days of sleeping beside Dean's hand had made his muscles in his shoulders knot like a rope. After a few minutes Dean moved his right hand across to Sam's left shoulder and worked Sam's left trapezium .After a few minutes Sam's shoulders felt SO much better. His brother defiantly had the magic touch.

Dean moved his hand to the back of Sam's neck and massaged the muscles gently with his fingers. Sam's head hung down and relaxed as Dean worked out the kinks. Sam realized Deans hands were getting slower and softer. "Hey Dean don't wear yourself out".

"I'm ok Sammy" Dean murmured.

Sam knew Dean was tiring quickly, so he put has head up and grabbed Dean's right hand with his right and threaded his fingers through Deans to stop him wearing himself out more. He turned and nuzzled his face into Dean's neck.

"Thanks Dean that's so much better".

"No problems Sammy".

Sam looked down and noticed his left hand was resting heavily on Dean's right thigh, however loving Dean was being at the moment he was sure he wouldn't go for that. He pulled his hand away quickly saying a quick "Sorry" to Dean. Dean looked at Sam's face with a frown.

"What you sorry for Sammy?"

"Eh, my hand on your leg" he said embarrassed.

Dean looked down confused, "Eh, dude your hands not on my leg" said Dean with slight humor in his voice.

"But it _was_ Dean".

"No big deal, Sammy". Suddenly the penny dropped for Sam.

"Dean, can you feel your legs?" He said slowly to his brother. Dean looked away awkwardly but did not answer Sam's question.

"Dean!" hissed Sam urgently sliding off the bed "What's going on? Why can't you feel your legs?"

"Did you ask the Doctor about this?" said Sam urgently.

"No, Sammy just calm down ok?"

"Calm down? Dean you can't feel your legs?"

"Look it's not that bad I can feel them a bit".

"What do you mean a bit?"

"They just feel like dead weight".

"We have to see the doctor Dean, why didn't someone pick this up?" Sam was out the door before Dean could tell him to come back. He didn't return for ten minutes and when he did he had Doctor Jenkins with him.

"So Dean, Sam tells me you have some reduced feeling in your legs?" said the doctor. Dean kept his eyes off Sam on purpose looking every ware but there.

"Yeah, they just feel a bit heavy or blocky I guess. I can't seem to move them much."

"But you can move them?"

"The last few days I have been trying pretty hard and I can get a feeling like I can move them but they just twitch a bit."

"Do you mind if I have a look at them?"

"No that's ok".

"Do you want me to wait outside" said Sam to the doctor.

"That's up to Dean" said Dr Jenkins.

"No, I want Sammy to stay "said Dean he was feeling guilty about not saying something to Sam, not that he should but Sam was able to do that to him.

"If you're sure?" said Sam he seemed genuinely happy that Dean wanted him to stay.

"Yeah please, Sam" said Dean and he held his right hand out to emphasize the point. Sam walked over and held Deans hand while Dr Jenkins checked Dean's legs and back over.

After a though examination the doctor said to the boys "Well I'm pretty sure the lack of activity in your legs has a fair bit to do with the extensive bruising that you have on your back Dean. You do have some reflex in your legs which indicates to me they are just taking a break. It will take some time to get the feeling back in them and you will need to do some therapy. Just to be on the safe side, I would like to do more X-Rays on your lower spine just to make sure we didn't miss anything on the first ones we did when you first arrived here. I will make arrangements for the tests to be done tomorrow morning ok?"

"Yeah, thanks doc" said Dean.

"Yeah thanks again" said Sam. As the doctor left the room Sam turned to face Dean.

"Don't you hide anything like that again Dean." Sam huffed.

"Look I'm sorry, alright? I thought they were just taking their time coming back. If I knew it would freak you out like that I would have said something, I promise." He pulled Sam close and gave him another two armed hug just to stop him being angry at him. Dean knew Sam was a sucker for hugs and after pretending to be annoyed still and keeping his back stiff, after a few moments in Dean's arms however he melted and hugged back.

"No more secrets ok? I mean it, Dean" Sam pulled back to look at Dean with a slight frown. "About anything, the therapy could be hard and I don't want you hiding pain or any problems from me and you have to let me help you with it .I want to alright? You have to let me be the big brother for a while and help you out, stop being the strong brave one all the time, ok?" Dean saw Sam had tears in his eyes and didn't have the heart to refuse his brother anything when he looked like that.

"Ok Sam' he agreed. Sam leaned forward and gave Dean another hug. This is turning into a sloppy chick flick day thought Dean, one way to get over it. As Sam pulled back from the hug Dean said "Bitch" lightly Sam gave a short hard laugh and smiled at Dean and replied "Jerk".

The next morning Dean had his back X- rayed and while he was out of the room Sam went for another change of clothes after a shower and shave. When he returned Dean still wasn't back so Sam spent half an hour tidying up Dean's room before sitting down and watching TV. After an hour of TV, Sam was beginning to get worried when Dean was bought back in by the nurses. He seemed somewhat subdued by his trip and Sam could barley wait for the nurses to leave before asking how things went and why it took so long. Dean explained to Sam that Dr Jenkins had been down at X-Ray to over see everything and he decided to give Dean's spine an ultra sound just to make sure there was no permanent damage. The X-Rays and ultrasounds confirmed that Dean had deep tissue bruising over a large area of his lower spine and that they felt getting him started on therapy sooner rather than later would help. Dean even told Sam that the therapy was set up for that afternoon. Sam was surprised and proud that Dean had finally learned to share with the class and hoped it would continue with his therapy. Dean took a large drink of water and snuggled down in the covers, he looked positively rung out.

"You look tired, Dean" said Sam softly.

"Yeah it's funny how a little trip to X-Ray has tired me out, and I didn't even walk!" sighed his brother.

"Well time for a nap big brother" Sam pushed the bedclothes up to Deans chin and tucked his pillows how he liked them.

"You are going to have to get some sleep soon too you know" yawned Dean.

"I'm doing ok here" said Sam lightly, turning off the TV so Dean could have a peaceful sleep.

"That's rot Sam, the bags under your eyes are to be seen to be believed" said Dean peering tiredly at Sam.

"I'll be all right till you get out, Dean".

"No you won't" Dean shot back "Sammy; I meant what I said about you looking after yourself. You need some real sleep, man, you really do. I'm being a good boy like you asked, so I'm gonna ask you to do something for me. Get some sleep, tonight. Go back to the motel tonight while I'm asleep and catch some decent z's. Please?" Sam marveled that this was the most Dean had said in one conversation since he had woken up, sure his voice had nearly given out but he had pressed on regardless. This must be important to Dean, part of his big brother caring instinct, or maybe he just looked like crap.

"Are you sure Dean?"

"I'm sure Sammy, don't get me wrong I want you here, but I want you _here_ if you get my meaning. If you are going to help me with my therapy I might find it hard picking _you _up, it's going to be the other way around for a bit".

Sam smiled shyly at Dean; wow Dean just admitted he wanted his help with his therapy. It would be worth a few hours across the road sleeping just to help his brother. He knew Dean wouldn't let him help without him getting some sleep first; he would be the same in his position. "Ok Dean tonight."


	9. Chapter 9 Up

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

Chapter 9 Up

With instructions to the nursing staff to call for anything and giving Dean his cell phone back so that he could call him if he needed him, Sam spent eight hours lying in a real bed sleeping out the kinks and knots from sleeping next to Dean's bed for so long. Dean had told him if he showed up in his room before eight am he would be in the bad books so he had breakfast from the breakfast bar in the motel room and the longest shower he had had in a long time, he actually stayed in until the water started to go cold. He dressed in clean clothes and packed some sweats and clean T shirts in a bag for Dean thinking he may want to wear them instead of the hospital clothes he was wearing. Though the white T shirt and blue scrub like pants Dean had been wearing weren't too bad, at least it wasn't a gown with a slit up the back, they weren't Deans own clothes.

Sam stopped at the diner two doors up from the motel and got himself a decent coffee and as a treat a vanilla milkshake for Dean. As he walked back to the hospital he couldn't believe how much better a few hours sleep made him feel. Dean _was_ right he felt ready to help Dean with his therapy now whereas last night it felt like an endless road. He wasn't about to tell his brother how right he had been though , that would give him rights to win every argument purely because he was the older one and always knew what's best. Even if it was true most of the time.

When he entered Dean's room he had to laugh out loud at Dean's expression as he tried to push down his breakfast of annoying slop, as he called it. Dean scowled over his tray at Sam but the scowl didn't stay in place for too long as he took in Sam's improved appearance. He smiled and dropped his spoon back on his tray. "See I was right, you look much better".

That morning a physical therapist came and did some exercises with Dean and showed Sam how to do them. It was mainly massaging and moving the legs so that Dean's body would realize they were still there waiting to be used. The exercise that Dean wanted to do the most was one where the therapist pushed Dean's toes towards his body. This exercise hurt the bottom of his feet slightly but he liked the pain as it meant he was feeling something at last. He could also use this exercise to concentrate on his toes and try to get them to move. The only problem was getting Sam to do the exercise long enough to get his toes to move. Dean broke out in a sweat every time he tried concentrating hard on his toes , and Sam took it as a sign of pain and would stop every time. Dean tried to reassure Sam that there was not much pain but it was good pain as he could feel his feet better every time , but Sam was having none of it , reluctant to cause his brother pain.

The therapy sessions continued over the next few days with Dean and Sam doing the exercises several times a day. The sessions caused quite a few 'chick flick' moments between the boys because Sam was so proud of the way Dean was progressing with his therapy he couldn't help but wrap his brother in a well deserved hug every time Dean's mobility increased a bit more each session.

The worst chick flick moment for Dean happened however when Dean asked Sam where his personal belongings were. After a session of exercises Sam looked at his watch and said to Dean "We can do more in an hour if you like".

"Speaking of watches" , Dean said pointing at Sam's "I can't find my stuff and the nurses say there's nothing of mine being held".

"Oh, I've got your things. I took them off before we bought you in just in case they went missing". Sam put his hand in his jeans pocket and pulled out Dean's watch, Amulet necklace and his bead bracelet. "Your wallet is in my jacket pocket if you want it".

Dean took his things from Sam and looked at them quietly rubbing the Amulet between his fingers. He'd been feeling naked with out it; he was only ever without it when he was in hospital he realized. There was blood on the amulet so he took a tissue from the bedside table and dipped it into his water cup and cleaned it up. He placed his watch on the nightstand, and looked over at Sam who had been watching him quietly.

"Come here Sammy". Dean patted the bed next to him. Sam stood then sat on the bed facing Dean. "I want you to look after this for me" he placed the bracelet over Sam's right hand onto his wrist, where it sat with a string bracelet Dean had given Sam some months before. Sam nodded his head, eyes tearing up. Damn things, he looked down to hide them from Dean.

Dean opened the string of the necklace wide and placed it over Sam's head. Sam flinched as if it was hot and put his hand up to remove it. As he tired to pull it off Dean put his hand up to stop him. "Sammy, please".

"Dean I can't wear this, it's yours, it's for you."

"I know its mine, I just want to keep it safe and you've done a great job so far. So can you keep it safe for me, please?"

"I can keep it safe but I can't wear it Dean it's yours to wear".

"I know Sam, but I want you to wear it for me ok? I will feel better if you do." Dean tucked the amulet under Sam's T shirt so only a small lump showed.

"Are you sure Dean?"

"I'm sure Sammy; you are the only one I would trust with it."

"Ok Dean, I will look after it." Sam's eyes shone with tears and he leaned forward and hugged his brother, again.

Dean's mood had improved with the therapy, his throat was almost better and he finally progressed to solid foods. Because of his more upbeat moods he let Sam hug him as often as he needed, he knew this was Sam's way of getting better, his medicine.

Sam was also going over to the motel every night to sleep, firstly because Dean insisted and secondly because he was getting quite tired every day helping Dean with his therapy. Deans IVs were all taken off and his stitches taken out and all that remaining was getting up and walking and using the toilet and he was a free man. With the finish line in sight Dean was working extra hard to get up on his feet. He wasn't allowed to try walking until checked out by Doctor Jenkins and then with a therapist present.

The first day he stared walking again Dean felt nervous knowing he could set himself up for failure if he asked for too much straight away. He had to remind himself he had been in a hospital bed for more than three weeks now and to try to take it therapist helped Sam lower Dean into a wheelchair even though Dean felt he could do this bit himself thanks very much. They wheeled him down to a physical therapy area where they would have more room. Thankfully the room was empty because Dean didn't want to fall on his ass with an audience. Dean felt shaky when he stood up for the first time and just stood for a few minutes with Sam holding onto his elbow like he was frekin four or somethin.

As soon as he felt ready Dean took a shuffling step, and lucky for him he had no shoes on because he really did shuffle. He took two more shuffling steps a then thought "The hell with this Sammy can pick me up if I fall" and raised his leg up higher so that he was taking exaggerated steps like a puppet. By the time he made it across the room his back and face had broken out in sweat , but the best thing was his legs felt fine , a little weak and shaky but fine. "Ha, I can't believe it took me this long to do this" he thought to himself. He got to the end of the room and did a shuffling turn. Wendy, the therapist released the brake of the chair and went to wheel it to him. Dean held his good arm up and said "I'm ok I can make it back." He started to walk in less of a puppet fashion toward the chair.

"Don't overdo it Dean" pleaded Sam's voice from his elbow.

"I'm ok Sam, I swear" Dean got back to the chair without any problems. But instead of getting into the chair he stood took a couple of deep breaths and looked over to Wendy and asked "Can I go again?"

"How does your back feel?"

"A little stiff, but ok."

"What about your side" She came over and moved her hand over his left side.

"A little sore where the broken ribs are and the shoulder" he had a nasty scar on his left shoulder from the harpies claws.

"You should be ok then, just don't overdo it." Dean walked back to the other end of the room slowly and back again twice before Sam stopped him by holding onto his elbow.

"Don't you think that's enough for one day Dean?"

"I'm ok Sam, I feel fine." He felt somewhat shaky but ok.

"Well you're soaked through, better get changed before you catch a cold".

"Once more up and back' Deans turn to plead.

"Ok once more" smiled Sam.

"I don't suppose I can walk back to the room can I?" Dean tried his biggest smile on Wendy and Sam.

"No" they both said at once, and Dean, knowing he would lose that one, let Sam help him into the chair. Once he was sitting in the chair Dean noticed how fast his heart was racing and the fact that he was panting a bit. Man he was going back into training as soon as he got out of here.

Back in his room Dean refused to get back in bed until he had a shower. Sam argued that he was still too weak and had an arm in a cast. Dean wanted to wrap the cast and even allowed that he would let Sam help him dress after.

"Come on Sammy you bought these clean clothes over, I just wanna clean up properly before I put them on."

"You could have a sponge bath".

"I'm sick to death of sponge baths Sam, come on you know how I feel, I just want a shower, not a ticket out of here."

"Not yet"

"No not yet but soon" Dean grinned. Dean drank two glasses of water while Sam talked to the nurse about Dean having a shower. She supplied a plastic cover for Deans cast, soap, shampoo and conditioner, towels and a chair for him to sit on if he needed it. Dean walked the few steps to bathroom once Sam put all of Dean's things in the room. He stood still while Sam helped him pull the T shirt over his head and then wrapped the cast up in the plastic cover.

"You ok now?" said Sam as he walked towards the door to give his brother some privacy.

"Yeah. Hey have you got any shaving stuff?"

"Yeah I bought yours just in case".

"Thanks I'll shave when I'm done in the shower, cause I might need some help"

Sam frowned at Dean.

"One hand ring any bells?"

"Oh yeah of course, I'll be here when you need me. I'll leave the door open a little bit just in case"

"Ok, thanks".

Sam wedged a magazine in the bathroom door holding it open a few inches and moved away a short distance to sit in a chair with his back to the door , he would hear Dean if he need him. Dean pulled off his pants with relative ease and turned the water on and when he deemed it warm enough stepped in. He held his left arm as far away from his body as he could and then spotted the soap holder to his left and took the soap out and rested his plastic covered cast on that. Perfect it wouldn't get wet there. He pushed the chair as far away from him as he could with his foot, stupid thing he wasn't going to use a chair in the shower that was insane. Showers are meant for standing up everyone knows that. Dean used the soap and gave himself a good clean. Fantastic! Now he felt better. He carefully cleaned the area where there had been stiches as they were a little tender. And the bruised areas were now yellow and almost faded away. His left side was sore over his mending ribs and his left shoulder wouldn't allow him to lift his arm far before giving him shooting pains. He snatched up the shampoo from the small shelf in the alcove and cleaned his hair after managing to open to open the bottle with one hand and just pouring it directly onto his hair. After conditioning and a rinsing Dean stepped carefully out of the stall almost slipping on the wet surface but regaining his balance. He dried himself and then his hair one handed; he shook the plastic cover off his cast and hung it in the shower to dry, then dressed his lower half in boxers and black sweat pants. He didn't bother with the top just took his shaving gear to the sink and had a go at one handed shaving.

Dean felt he did a reasonable job with the shaving but Sam came in half way through and had a chuckle at him before he stepped in and finished him off. Sam grabbed a towel while Dean rinsed the last of the shaving cream off his face and as soon as he stood up Sam attacked his hair with the towel feeling it wasnt dry enough. "Ok shirt" said Sam when he had finished. Dean turned to pick up the shirt from the small table next to the sink and as he turned Sam got a look at Deans back and was shocked and surprised how bruised Deans back still was. And skinny! Sam could see Dean's backbone and ribs with ease. Sam knew Dean never carried much in the way of fat around but this was upsetting. Sam had thought Dean was doing ok but maybe he had been to close to Dean to see what was going on ,the old saying abound you cant see the forest for the trees. When Dean turned with his shirt Sam got a look at Dean's front and wasn't surprised to see it looked the same. Dean's ribs stuck out a lot and Sam could tell Dean had lost a lot of the muscle that normally kept them hidden. Sam decided when Dean got out of here he would be getting double helpings of everything. No exceptions. Sam helped Dean on with his T Shirt and noticed how baggy it looked on Dean. Even Dean noticed. "Hey is this your shirt dude? It's kind of swimming on me here"

"No it's yours Dean; you've lost a bit of weight while you've been here".


	10. Chapter 10 Out

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

Chapter 10 Out

That afternoon Dean had another therapy session then another shower, Sam could see a pattern developing here. The next day he walked back to his room from the session and had a shower and stayed out of bed till lunchtime. After lunch, another session another shower and in bed for the rest of the day. The next Dean walked to and from his sessions and didn't get back into bed all day. He was starting to drive Sam crazy. The next morning Dean suggested they pack up their stuff and leave as the insurance they were using would have to max out fairly soon. Unfortunately Sam agreed with Dean on that score. Also Dean was up and around, but still not putting any weight back on. Sam felt he might have more luck with the weight if they left the hospital because as much as Dean was trying to pacify Sam, Sam knew Dean hated to be here and he hated the food even more.

And why was Dean trying to keep Sam happy? Sam had thought long and hard about it and then asked Dean flat out but, Dean just did his normal grunt and said "cause I was a pain in the ass getting hurt like that." Sam realised that Dean never even asked Sam if he blew the Harpies nest up, in fact he didn't talk about the job at all and for the first time since he could remember hadn't asked after the Impala. Dr Jenkins came and said goodbye to the boys and wished them all the best.

Dean's eyes stung as he walked out of the hospital and followed Sam to the motel to get their things. Dean walked to the passenger side of the Impala and waited for Sam to unlock the door for him. Dean got gingerly into the passenger seat and sat stiffly while Sam went into the motel room and grabbed the bags off the beds and locked the door behind him. He put the bags on the back seat of the car and went off to settle the account before they left. By the time Sam returned to the Impala Dean had relaxed into the seat and had a big smile on his face. "You look happy" said Sam.

"Oh yeah" said Dean and pulled his shades from the glove box and managed to slip them on one handed and look cool at the same time. His left arm was uncomfortable on his thigh; there just didn't seem to be any ware to put the thing without it going to sleep on him.

They had no destination in mind only wanting to put the hospital miles behind them before the day was out. Sam stopped at a diner for lunch and pushed as much food onto Dean as he could without being obvious he was doing it. Dean was quiet most of the morning and at lunch. Sam drove all afternoon with Dean asleep in the passenger side his head lolling onto his chest and his left arm cradled with his right. Sam put on crappy music as loud as it would go in attempt to wake Dean and keep him company but Dean slept on. Soon Sam got worried and pulled over and checked Deans pulse but he was ok and just kept sleeping through the impromptu stop. Dean woke just as it was getting dark and Sam was looking for a motel. "Hey sleepy head how you feeling?"

"My back is fuckin killing me" Dean groaned trying to stretch his back. "Please tell me we are stopping soon".

"Yeah I'm just looking for a motel with a laundry. Ah there we go." Sam pulled into the motel and parked and went in to pay for a room. Dean looked at the parking lot and noticed only two other cars in the lot so it looks like they would be in luck getting a room. Sam returned to the car and drove to the very end of the row of rooms and backed up to room 15 right next to the laundry which was well lit and importantly, empty.

"Well done Sammy, away from the civvies _and_ next to the laundry". Sam got out of the car and opened the door to the room and went back for the bags from the back seat. Dean unfolded himself from the car and nearly fell over, his legs back and left side extremely stiff and sore from the drive. In fact Dean was pretty sure his legs and back had never been this stiff before, even after driving for 4 days straight. He used the side of the Impala for a few steps and limped painfully toward the room. When he was entering the room he felt his legs were a little better, maybe they just needed to be walked out to unstiffen. Sam was already going through the duffel bags of clothes to see what needed washing. Dean decided to be a good big brother and see if he could start on cleaning the trunk of the car out. He snaked the keys off the table without alerting Sam and walked out to the car. He opened the trunk and got a shock by what he saw. "Holy Fuck" he said loudly.

"What Dean? What?" yelled a panicked Sam as he ran up to Dean and looked in the trunk. The boys weapon bags were lying open and there was bandages and blood everywhere. Sam looked at Dean's face; he had gone pale and was leaning against the back of the Impala. Damn he had forgotten to even bother looking in here, he had assumed Bobby had taken care of this stuff, but both hunters had forgotten about it because of Dean's condition.

"Dean are you ok? I'm sorry I should have cleaned this up before."

"Its ok Sammy, I just didn't expect …..All the blood." Dean rubbed his hand over his face a sure sign he was trying to deal with this in his own way.

"Look" said Sam "I'll do this ok? You go have a lie down".

"No its ok. I should be used to this stuff by now, hey?" Dean pulled a painful smile and moved to gather the spilled things and put them in the bags.

"Do you want to do the laundry instead?"

"Its ok Sam, I need to get through this it's just a bit raw still, you know?"

"Do you wanna talk about it?" To Sam's amazement Dean nodded his head slowly.

"Yep, but not now, after this is cleaned up maybe?" Sam was surprised but tried not to show it.

"Ok Dean if you need help let me know ok?" he patted Dean on the shoulder and moved back to the room to sort the washing. Dean grabbed a plastic shopping bag from the back of the Impala and put all the used bandages in it. He also threw in the plastic mask and used tubing from the oxygen. One of the blankets was pretty well covered in blood so he threw that in too. The leaning into the trunk made his back and side sore so he went slowly.

He took the bags inside the room and unloaded the weapons onto an old newspaper between Sam's bed and the wall (just in case someone came to the door). He took the bags and the blanket with not to much blood on it to the laundry. Sam was feeding coins into one of the machines and Dean started to throw the bags in to one of the machines, but Sam held up a pump pack of stain remover and handed it to Dean. "Hey we scored free stain remover" Dean gave Sam a small smile and took the pack off Sam and sprayed the bags and the blanket liberally with the stuff. Dean used some of the coins Sam had dumped on the machine for him, to get some laundry powder from the dispenser on the wall. Dean dumped the powder in and got the machine going. Dean then walked slowly back to the Impala and grabbed the bag of dirty bandages and a small can of lighter fluid and a book of matches. He walked around the back of the motel with his load and found a barrel with smoke stains and ash all over it near an old dumpster. He dropped all his rubbish in sprayed them with lighter fluid and set it alight.

Once the fire died down to a few lumps of glowing ash Dean limped back around the building, his legs were hurting and his back had gone back to feeling stiff and sore. Even his head was starting to hurt. Sam was coming out of the room as he came in with rags and cleaning fluid from the Impala.

"Hey I'm going for Chinese down the road, what do you feel like?"

"Um rice, and sweet and sour whatever".

"That's it?"

"Yep that's it".

"What do you want to drink?" for a minute Sam thought Dean might say beer, he wasn't sure Dean should be drinking yet.

"Ah, waters fine" said Dean surprising Sam who thought Dean would at least go for a cola or some kind of soda after all the water he had drunk at the hospital.

"Ok .I'll be back soon ".

"Sam".

"Yeah?"

"Take the car" he tossed Sam the car keys.

"You'll be ok?"

"Yeah I can't drive can I?" Dean waved his broken arm in Sam's general direction.

"Ok thanks'.

Dean walked over and snatched up the TV remote before sitting down and leaning against the wall next to Sam's bed and began the methodical job of cleaning weapons while channel flicking, slowed down by his stupid left hand. Dean could move his fingers on that hand a bit so he tried to use them as much as possible to get used to operating the weapons at least partially with the fingers of his left hand. Half an hour into weapons detail, his back and legs started to cramp up, so he unfolded himself and walked slowly to the laundry where he transferred the washed clothes from Sam's load into the dryer and then the bags and blanket onto another dryer. It took a few trips because of his one arm and not wanting to get the cast wet. He was tired when he got back to the room and went back to work on the weapons.

"Hey" said Sam as he entered the room.

"Hey".

"How are they coming along?" Sam placed the take away on the table and saw that Dean was mostly done cleaning the weapons, the pile of clean ones stacked neatly on the floor. He knew he shouldn't have been surprised. Cleaning weapons was something Dean had learned from as young as seven years old , he could do it as easily as other kids could ride bikes or play hide and seek. But he was worried about his brother over doing it.

"I'll just check the laundry and we can eat" Sam moved toward the door.

"Its ok I just put them in the dryer …ten minutes ago" said Dean pulling his watch out of his sweat pants pocket to check.


	11. Chapter 11 Love

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

Chapter 11 Love

After they had eaten Dean finished the weapons while Sam threw away the food cartons. When he had finshed Dean stood up from the wall he had been leaning on and walked slowly to his bag to get a fresh T shirt and boxers. Last ones, lucky they were washing.

"Hey I'm gonna head in for a shower, ok?" he said to Sam.

"Yeah I'll go check the washing, you got your cast cover?"

"Right here in the bag, thanks Florence." Dean indicated his shaving bag in his hand.

After Dean finished in the shower he came out with his T shirt and boxers on. He had been practicing to do the T shirt part on his own and was managing with some success. Sam was putting the weapons back in the bags and the clothes were piled to be put away as well. Dean walked over and helped Sam pack everything away that they could for the night, knowing they would be on their way again come morning. Then Dean took some Tylenol for his headache and sat down gingerly on the bed with his back on the head board.

"Feel like a rub?" said Sam coming over and showing Dean the tube of menthol sports rub he had in his hand.

"Hell, yes".

Sam moved the pillows down the bed and helped Dean pull his T shirt off again. Then he squeezed in behind Dean leaning against the headboard rubbing Deans back while he was sitting up. He could still count Deans ribs if he wanted to so he made a mental note to keep Dean eating as much as he could.

"Hey Dean?" said Sam after a few minutes and Dean had started to relax into the rub.

"Yeah".

"Why did you freak out at the blood earlier?"

Dean took a big breath, and pushed it out before replying.

"Because I did a stupid thing and it ended badly".

"What stupid thing?"

"The damn Harpy, I shot it and fell through the roof. I was supposed to be protecting you. What if there had been more?" Dean spoke softly as if remembering what happened. Sam didn't want to break the spell that was causing his brother to tell him what he was thinking, so he spoke softly too.

"But it's not your fault, Dean there was nothing you could have done".

"Not shooting it while I was over the hole in the roof would have been a start".

"It would have been hard to predict where it would drop you, and who knows what it might have done to you if you hadn't".

"I know but it was still a dumb thing to do, I should have taken more care".

"Hang on. Do you remember falling through the roof?" Dean shuddered under Sam's hands.

"It was horrible Sam".

"Of course it was, it was four stories Dean, you can't just walk away from that".

"It's was pretty scary". Wow a huge, admission from Dean.

"I'll bet".

"Sam, I'm sorry for putting you through that, I know what its like, it must have been hard for you". Holy crap Dean was apologising to Sam for being hurt and nearly dying!

"Dean, you don't have to apologise to me, we're family, I would do anything for you and I know you would for me. We have each other. I mean that's all that's left of our family and we have to look out for each other right? I mean that's what makes us such a great team, right?" Sam pushed Dean shoulder softly to emphasise his point.

"Yeah, we are all we have left" Dean said solemnly.

Sam was quiet while he finished rubbing Deans back, thinking about what Dean had just said to him trying to think of it from Dean's point of view. Dean was always protecting his family from danger and getting injured in the process was part of that, being the fact that what they did, their job was full of danger. As Dean moved forward to grab his T shirt off the bed Sam leaned forward and grabbed Dean and pulled him back into his chest. Dean didn't stiffen as Sam expected but leaned back into Sam's chest letting Sam support him fully. Sam reached up to the collar of his shirt and pulled Deans Amulet off his neck, and placed it back around Dean's neck, its rightful home. Dean's right hand went to the Amulet and he rubbed it between his fingers. Sam put his left had under Deans cast and cradled it for Dean and wrapped his right arm around Dean, across his chest,Sams face in Deans hair. The boys lay there for a few minutes just enjoying the feeling of being with each other being with family and being content with that.

"I love you Sam". Sam tried not to look shocked by Dean's admission, lucky Dean was facing the other way.

"I love you too Dean".

After Sam helped Dean put his T shirt back on Dean lay down to go to sleep. It seemed harder to sleep in the motel bed than the hospital bed. He couldn't work out where to put his cast where he didn't a) lay on it, or b) almost knock himself out. He ended up putting it up on a pillow next to his head even though it made his side sightly sore and finally drifted of to sleep.

Dean woke with the first rays of sunlight streaming in the window and with a huge blinding headache. It woke him with such force that he didn't get time to cover it up from Sam. As Dean groaned and brought his right hand up to rub his head Sam woke and looked immediately at his brother. He was up and getting Tylenol from the first aid kit before Dean could register that Sam was awake. Sam shook two Tylenol out and handed them to Dean with a glass of water from the sink. Dean took the Tylenol from Sam and pointed to the bottle and curled his fingers in a gesture asking Sam for another pill. Dean swallowed the three tables down with the water and lay back down to let the medicine do its job. Sam raised his eyebrows at Dean as if to say must be a good headache; Dean nodded slightly at Sam in silent agreement and closed his eyes. His headache was a big one, with the pain pounding at the back of his neck and seeming to splice his head in two as it rode sharply to the front of his head. Dean tried to think of the cause. Dehydration? Not enough sleep? The ride in the car yesterday? He hadn't had anything to drink in the car for the five or so hours while he had been asleep. He hoped it wasn't the time spent in the car after so long in the hospital because Dean had hoped to hit the road again today and maybe start looking for some work, try to get back into it slowly.

By the time Dean's headache abated enough for him to get out of bed Sam was dressed and had loaded the weapons and his own bag in the car. Deans back felt a little glassy today so combined with his headache he decided to do another day in sweat pants and T shirt with a Denim jacket over the top. Sam helped Dean with his jacket but Dean insisted on putting his own bag in the car. While Sam went to the office to return the key, Dean strolled to the vending machine and got himself a couple of bottles of water and two of OJ for Sam. Dean was waiting in the car when Sam returned and took a bottle of OJ with thanks and noted Dean was again drinking water. They drove for an hour before stopping for breakfast. Dean bought local papers at the dinner and Sam pulled his lap top out. After an hour spent researching the local area the boys found nothing to hunt thus far, but Dean wasn't worried too much he knew a hunt would turn up soon they always did.

They travelled in the same basic direction they had been heading in. They were fairly comfortable, sometimes shooting the shit, sometimes thinking to themselves but always an easy brotherly companionship. Sam enjoyed the time even though he knew he would only be driving until Dean felt ready to take a turn himself. After lunch Dean felt tired and took a nap after telling Sam not to let him sleep too long. Sam let Dean sleep with his head against the passenger side window for an hour before shaking him awake. Dean woke to another headache and sore neck and after shaking some Tylenol out and drinking a full bottle of water, slowly stretched himself as much as possible in the car. Mid afternoon Sam stopped the car in a quite forest like area and the boys went for a 40 minute walk among the trees. It was slow going for Dean, his legs feeling sore and cramped after the time in the car. Both boys enjoyed the walk; Sam couldn't believe they had never done this before. They had always travelled straight through to where they were going without taking time out for themselves.

They stopped for the night in another motel and this time Dean got dinner and Sam spent time on the net looking for work. Dean bought back the local evening paper with dinner and they swapped over, Dean on the net and Sam looking through the paper. Dean decided to go for a short walk to stretch his legs. Sam wanted to come so they went together and enjoyed the hour long stroll Dean insisted on. They went back to the motel and Sam went to take a shower, while Dean surfed the web a bit longer. Sam suspected that Dean was doing something other than looking for work on the net but kept his opinion to himself, because it might mean Dean was feeling better. When he came out of the bathroom Dean was in bed with the covers pulled up. Sam noticed a bottle of water and the Tylenol on Dean's bedside table.

"Dean, you ok?"

"Yeah".

"Still got a headache?"

"mmm".

"Not having a shower?"

"In the morning".

Sam leant over Dean and pulled the covers down Dean's face.

"You sure you're ok? You look a bit pale".

"I'm ok Sammy, just need some sleep".

"Let me know if you need anything".

"You know I will Sam".

"You better" and for no known reason Sam bent down and kissed Dean on the forehead, then he tucked the blankets back up and went to bed.

Dean woke to Sam screaming at 3 in the morning and even though his head was hurting like a bitch he pushed himself up and walked over to Sam and shook him awake.

"Sammy you ok?"

Sam's eyes were wide with fear. "Dean you ok?"

"Me? You were screaming. Bad dream I assume?"

"Terrifying!" Sam was trying to shake the dream off, but he was still shaking and his head was foggy from the nightmare still coming to him in little flashes.

"You gonna be ok?"

"Yeah, I think……"

"What Sammy?"

"Will you………?" Sam was stammering, embarrassed like when he was young and wanted something.

"What's wrong, Sam?" Then Dean realised without Sam having to say, he had been in this spot before, along time ago.

Dean pulled Sam's covers back and climbed in next to his brother gently.

"I'm sorry Dean" said Sam sounding shy and embarrassed.

"Don't be sorry to ask for help Sammy, its what I'm here for remember, little brother?"

"I remember, big brother" Sam cuddled up to Dean just like when they were little and Sam had bad nightmares. "Thanks Dean" added Sam softly.

"It's ok Sammy. Its ok" Dean soothed.

Dean tried to wrap Sam in his arms and provide comfort without knocking Sam out with his cast. Add to that the awkwardness of not having been in bed together since they were young kids.


	12. Chapter 12 Bear

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

Chapter 12 Bear 

Sam woke later in the morning feeling like he had just had the best sleep in years. He was warm and comfortable and his brother's arms were still wrapped around him and his warm breath feel great on the back of Sam's neck. Deans cast was almost touching his nose but Deans other arm was around his chest and it was a fantastic feeling. Without thinking Sam spun in Deans arms so he faced Dean who was still sleeping peacefully. Sam slowly wrapped his arms around Dean and Deans arms tightened around him but he didn't wake. Sam snuggled his head into Dean's neck and breathed his brother's scent in. He smelled warmly of light sweat and sleep and just _Dean_. He couldn't believe he was doing this. It should be wrong being in bed with his brother and snuggling up and enjoying it but he couldn't help it, it felt so right so _natural_. Why had it been years since they had been in bed together? Their Dad had stopped staying with them when Sam was 16 and Dean was 20, he hunted alone or left them for days at a time to hunt with Dean looking after Sam, Dean doing research for dad at the library, while Sam was at school. Sometimes Dean would be with dad during the day and back with Sam at night. Occasionally Sam stayed on his own overnight and they were the nights when Sam had felt the loneliest until he went to university and away from both Dean and his father.

Dean started to snuffle awake and Sam felt it was time to move away from Dean before Dean had a fit about the fact they were in bed together. But something in Sam's chest held him still while Dean woke, Sam was setting himself up for heartache here but he kept still anyway. Dean's eyes opened and those stunning liquid green orbs looked into Sam's wide hazel eyes and Dean stunned Sam by hugging Sam closer. Sam was stunned breathless, he was expecting Dean to throw him off the bed or at least leap out of bed but this? Dean's body stiffened slightly in his arms and Sam realized that _he_ was making Dean worry by lying still holding his breath. Dean probably thought Sam was freaking out. Sam forced himself to breathe slowly and relax in Deans arms; he even moved his hands slowly and lightly up and down Dean's back in a gesture that meant I'm ok with this. Dean's body relaxed and he snuggled his face into Sam's neck breathing him in as Sam had been doing to Dean moments before.

"mmm morning Sammy bear".

"Sammy bear?"

"Yeah you know, like teddy bear?"

"Teddy bear? Why am I a teddy bear?"

"You're cuddly like a teddy bear".

Holy shit, Dean just called him cuddly!

"I think I'm doing all the cuddling here Dean, that makes you the Teddy Bear".

Dean tightened his hold on Sam by resting his cast on Sam's back and pulling him closer.

"No I'm doing the cuddling, Sammy bear".

Sam ran his hands more firmly over Deans Back.

"Actually you are kind of bony for a teddy bear".

"That's not nice, but it means I win". Dean put his nose against Sam's neck and breathed in enjoying Sam's clean smell. "You smell great but I bet I don't, time for a shower". Dean gave Sam's neck a big sloppy kiss and unwrapped himself from a stunned Sam then pushed the covers off and walked slowly over to his bag to get his things out for a shower. Holy fuck! Dean had said he smelled good and then kissed his neck. As surprised as he was, he felt a flutter in his stomach, a good flutter.

Dean moved into the bathroom without looking back at Sam but Sam watched his brothers back as he retreated into the small room and closed the door. Dean could feel Sam's eyes on his back as he went, he was determined not to turn around and show Sam he was shocked at his own actions.

Kissing his brother, hugging him in bed? What the hell was going on? Did this latest accident turn him into a pussy? He felt no different except for a wanting to be closer to his brother, and when he thought about it what was so wrong with that? Sam was Dean's world, maybe it was time for Dean to show Sam how much he meant to him rather that brush him off all the time. Dean knew Sam loved the hugs and shows of affection but they were things Dean had always hidden least he be hurt. And growing up with his dad after his mother had been killed, Dean hadn't been allowed to cry or show emotion he had it ground into him that he had to be tough for his dad and Sammy. Well his dad was gone and as much as he had loved his dad and was loyal to him he had been wondering a lot lately about how much his father's obsession had wreaked his family. What if his father had not gone after the demon and made it his life obsession to look after his kids like his wife would have wanted him to? How different would thier lives be now? Dean knew at one time in his life his dad had loved both his sons and treated them like kids but that had all changed when his mum was killed. Dean thought about it while he showered and for the first time in a long time tugged himself into jeans and managed to do up the button and belt by himself.

Sam was still shocked as his snaked his hand up to his neck where Dean had kissed him and pressed his hand against the skin that felt to Sam like it was still searing from Deans touch. Sam realised with embarrassment that his downstairs brain had liked his morning contact with Dean a little to much. He tried to think of something else to calm himself before he got up to get dressed but then the shower turned on and for some reason Sam's brain wanted to think of Dean in the shower. Damn, what was going on with him? He loved his brother like no one else, even Jessica but this was turning strange and he had better get a handle on it pronto because even though it was Dean who wanted the contact this morning and had kissed _him_, Dean wasn't likely to want it to continue, it would be a one off and Dean would go back to pushing him away again. Sam tried to take his mind off Dean by thinking about his dream from last night. Dean falling from the roof again, but more angles and weird lighting than ever before. The dream made Sam feel sick to his stomach and his downstairs brain cooled off quickly so he got up and quickly dressed and packed his bag. He went to the small kitchen area and boiled the kettle for coffee, he made two cups today hoping Dean would join him as he hadn't drunk coffee since he had been out of hospital. Sam was stirring the coffee and thinking that he would try to hold off on the touchy feely stuff with Dean in case Dean was doing it for him, when Dean walked out of the bathroom in jeans and a black T shirt. Dean looked stunning to Sam, the first time Dean had had jeans on since the accident and even thought they were a little baggy he looked great.

Sam had to take a deep breath so he wouldn't rush over to his brother and fuss with him just to be close to him. Dean walked over to his bag and pulled out socks and boots and sat on the bed and got to work. After a few minutes of struggling with them Sam came over to help. He helped Dean up and handed him coffee which Dean drank with Sam. When they had washed up the cups and Dean had finished packing, Dean swung his leather jacket on and Sam took a deep breath in at Dean's appearance. Even though the jackets left sleeve was tucked into the pocket, because it didn't fit over the cast, Dean wearing his leather jacket completed the picture of Dean that Sam thought of as Dean healthy and normal.

While Sam used the bathroom Dean settled the account and meet Sam at the Impala. After 20 minutes on the road Dean turned to Sam and lowered the volume on the radio.

"So we gonna talk?"

"About?" Sam flicked his eyes to Dean then back on the road.

"A nightmare someone had last night".

"Oh, you're sure? I don't remember much".

"Just what you can remember then".

"Well, I've been having the same nightmare since it happened, when you fell through the roof".

Sam felt his throat go dry; he gulped to loosen it up and continued.

"It's always the same but, sometimes I see my hand reaching up trying to grab you but you slip through every time".

"So what's your perspective are you in the building or outside?" asked Dean.

"At first I was outside, but around the time you woke up I've been inside watching you fall every time".

"Huh, do you fall with me or watch me fall from a stationary position?"

"Um both I think." Sam was wondering where Dean was going with this but keep his eyes on the road.

"Mmm, do you think you might be picking up on me?"

"What do you mean?" Sam flicked his eyes to his brother who looked deep in thought.

"I'm just thinking out loud here but, I haven't had a nightmare or even a dream that I know of since I woke up in hospital. Don't you think _I_ should be the one having the nightmares? When I think of that hunt I can feel myself falling and it feels so real it scares me, but you think I would be having nightmares or something, but nothing no dreams at all."

"Nothing at all?"

"Nothing".

"What, do you think I'm channelling your dreams for you or something?"

"I really don't know Sam".

"Me either, I guess we will just have to see what happens".

"Mmm".

And they spent the next hour or so in quiet thought.

After lunch the boys drove for an hour then stopped at a park for a walk. Sam knew Dean was serious about the walk when he stripped off his jacket and walked in a T shirt. Sam stripped his jacket off to join Dean. They walked at a good pace for an hour not talking much but still enjoying each others company, and even though it was a sunny day there were not many people about. When they got back to the car Dean didn't put his jacket back on just leaned into the car and pulled out two bottles of water. He tossed one to Sam and drank his own down quickly. Sam had raised only a very mild sweat on the walk but he noticed Dean had a thin line of sweat down the front and back of his T shirt, and his hair was slightly damp.

"You ok there big brother?" said Sam as they got back in the car.

"Yep" Dean replied lightly.

They drove on and Dean took a short nap, again waking with a headache and stiff neck and back. They stopped for the night slightly earlier, wanting to get supplies from a supermarket because they were running a bit low. They bought lighter fluid, Rock Salt, more T shirts, new jeans each, couple of blankets and Dean surprised Sam by getting a large case of bottled water. Next they topped up their dwindling first aid kit with bandages, menthol rub, gauze pads, sutures and Tylenol. It was Sam's turn to surprise Dean with some 8 hour Tylenol; he was hoping this would help Dean's sore back and legs.

* * *

Thanks again to everyone who has reviewed- Particularly rog457 it keeps me posting regular chapters:D


	13. Chapter 13 Truth

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

Chapter 13 Truth

After buying dinner and settling in at the motel Sam packed the new supplies away, while Dean got dinner ready. After Dinner, Dean made rock salt rounds for the shotguns at the table while Sam surfed the net for a job. While Dean was working he thought about what they had talked about in the car. He hoped Sam was going to stop having his bad dreams for him but it didn't make sense why he was having none at all. He also thought about what happened that morning in the other motel. He had been thinking about it off and on all day and his thoughts always lead to the same place. The way his dad had raised him. To be the man while he was away. His eyes flicked to Sam , who's face was lit up by the glow of the laptop. How come Sam could show some emotion and he couldn't? Must have been the time at Stanford mixing with "normal people". Or maybe Dean was just using it as an excuse to block his brother and hide from him his true feelings. Well that just sucked, he could die tomorrow and his brother would never know how much he loved him and that he would do anything for him. Sure he would put himself in front of Sam every time to protect him but it just wasn't the same was it?

When Dean had finished and packed the rounds away, he made coffee for both of them and took Sam his cup. Sam was leaning on the headboard of his bed still looking for work. Dean moved the pillow next to Sam and sat next to his brother, his right arm rubbing against Sam's left lightly.

"Have you thought any more about something for Bobby?" said Dean.

"I have but I haven't found anything. You?"

" I think I have" Dean moved his right hand over Sam's left and moved Sam's fingers over the mouse pad to point at a bookmark Dean had made the previous night and pushed Sam's finger to click open the site.

"Charter Fishing?" said Sam, with a questioning look at his brother.

"Yep, Bobby loves to fish and he always wanted to go up to Lake Superior to fish, always wanted to catch a big Chinook salmon. He even has a boat in his junkyard somewhere. But this is a package deal, four days with lodgings and they take you out to different parts of the lake for different fish every day. Look, Lake Trout, Coho Salmon, Rainbow Trout, Brown Trout or Chinook salmon. All he would have to do is turn up and have fun everything's provided."

Sam noticed Dean was still using Sam's hand to point to the screen.

"I knew Bobby had all the fishing magazines around , I always thought they looked kind of odd next to the occult books , but do you really think this would be what he would like?"

"Id take it to the bank, he'd love it".

"Ok, what do we do?"

"Well, we order the package in Bobby's name like this" Dean moved Sam's hand to the ordering section. "And because it's a gift we have the voucher sent to Bobby in a gift basket so he knows it's the real deal not us having a joke with him".

"Good idea" Sam was surprised at Dean having put this much thought into the gift.

"What looks good?"

They spent several minutes looking at gift baskets before picking one, they wanted to get one Bobby would use but not go to outlandish or Bobby would think it was a joke.

Once they had the order sorted, they had to figure out what to put on the card – they settled on, "Thanks Bobby for being there in our time of need: Please enjoy some time off on us – Sam and Dean"

"Does that look ok to you?" said Dean.

"That looks great Dean" said Sam "I can't believe you found this. I was thinking you were looking at porn".

"Ha" chucked Dean "normally you would be right, but I didn't want to leave this to long, things tend to get forgotten when we get back to work".

"Yeah you're right about that. So are we done?"

"Yep, all that's left is to pay for this sucker". Dean pulled a credit card out of his wallet, one Sam had never seen before.

"Ah, how old is that card? We had better not get Bobby in trouble" Sam groaned.

"Hold your horses Sammy, this is an honest account I set up with my fake ID. Its got money in it I earned hustling pool and cards".

"What a real credit card?"

"Well it's a Visa debit card, but it's an honest card. Bobby won't get in trouble with this; the transaction will go through without a problem".

Sam was quiet and thoughtful as Dean used his fingers to type in the numbers from the card to complete the transaction. The transaction went through and a page came up with the receipt number and details saying the basket would be delivered between three to four days and the recipient had 6 months to give them a call and book the trip for whenever he would like. Dean used Sam's fingers to save the page on the desktop so they had a record of the transaction.

Sam turned to look at Dean "So what's the deal with this card" he said snagging the credit card off the laptop.

"Um, I wanted a real card for emergencies".

"So how much is in it?"

"Don't worry there's more than enough to cover the gift".

"Dean, that's not what I mean. How much is in there?"

Dean looked down suddenly embarrassed. "Ah, about 10 grand".

"10 grand! Dean what the hell kind of emergency do you need 10 grand for?"

"In case you want to …."

"What Dean, want to what?"

"Go back to school" said Dean quietly.

"Dean how long have you had this set up?" Sam didn't recognize the name on the card which was nothing new, but he had never seen an ID with this name on it either.

"It started as a savings account when you were sixteen, then I changed it to the debit account about twelve months ago". Dean found himself being honest about this even though he didn't really want Sam to know, he found it impossible to lie to him.

"Why did you start the account? Did dad know about it?" Sam knew their dad was never one for saving money for any length of time and he had never taught his kids to. Sam was wondering how Dean put this together.

"No dad never knew about "Dean laughed "He would have knocked me out if he knew".

"Why, would he have knocked you out, Dean?" Sam was the reverse of Dean, serious and quiet in his tone.

Dean stopped laughing and looked down again; Sam put his hand softly under Dean's chin and lifted his brother's head until he was looking at Deans eyes. "Why Dean?"

Dean frowned at Sam and said quietly "The money was for you Sam, to go away to school".

"What do mean?"

"Remember when I drove you to Stanford for your interview to get in? Well dad didn't pay for the gas or motel rooms like I told you". Deans voice was almost a whisper.

"You paid? Why?"

"Because it was what you wanted".

"I thought you hated me going away to school".

"I did, but it's what you wanted so that's all that mattered".

"Wait. Did you say you started this account when I was sixteen?"

"Yeah, that's when I knew you would be going away to school".

"Wait Dean,_ I_ didn't know I would be going away to school then".

"I think you did deep down Sam. Dad and I had some pretty decent fights around that time". Damn,mouths got a life of its own now,thought Dean wildly.

"What about me going away to school?"

"Mainly about you staying in the same school for a while, so you could do your SATS and get ready for your entrance exam".

"I can't remember many fights between you and dad."

"I tried to keep it to when dad and I were alone on a hunt and you were back at the motel studying".

"It makes sense now, you were always interested in my school work and dad never asked but he always knew when to leave me behind to study for a test. I thought I was just lucky".

"No ones that lucky Sammy".

Sam held the credit card between his fingers "So the money you gave me when you dropped me at Stanford?"

"From that account" Dean nodded.

"Dean you told me that was from dad!"

"Would you have taken it from me?"

Sam hesitated "I don't know. What about the times you visited Stanford and gave me money?"

Dean looked down again.

"Dean you made me believe dad cared about me enough to give me money, I thought he was doing it because he had to look like he was helping me even though he told me never to come back".

"You know dad Sam, he would have spent the money on ammo." Dean joked.

"I can't believe you did that for me Dean, man what can I say?"

"You're an awesome brother? " Dean joked.

"But you've always been an awesome brother Dean".

And Sam swept Dean up it a huge hug and Dean felt himself hugging Sam back purely because he was happy the conversation had ended , then he remembered what he was thinking about while he was packing salt rounds and put more effort into the hug even rubbing a hand roughly up Sam's back. Sam's eyes lit up with the extra affection Dean had showed him and he rubbed a hand down Dean's back. When Sam let him go Dean took the credit card back and put it back in his wallet and took the coffee cups to the sink to clean up and get ready for bed.

Dean was relived Sam wasn't mad at him for telling him the truth about what had happened back then and where the money had come from. That part of Dean's life had not been a bed of roses by any stretch of the imagination. Dean could remember all the times he came back to the motels from hustling pool or cards and gave his dad less money than he had won so he could squirrel some of it away for Sam. He hated not giving his dad all the money he had but he was doing it for Sam. And the fights they had! Dean was sure he was going to be belted a few times for sticking up for his brother. And to top it off Sam would go crazy at Dean if they had to move schools again like it was Dean's fault. Dean was glad those days were well behind him, and Dean wanted them locked away in the cupboard in his brain where he hid all those horrible memories. He wasn't happy about sharing some of the past with Sam like he had, but at least Sam had been happy to leave it there and not press for anything else. Deans resolve to leave this stuff in the cupboard was wavering at the moment and he worried Sam was able to get things out of him he was bent on keeping hidden.

Later that night as Dean slept in his bed, Sam stared up at the ceiling thinking about what Dean had told him earlier. He could remember fighting with his dad a fair bit before he went off to university but couldn't remember dad and Dean fighting much at all. It seems they had done it while they were away to save him from hearing it. Sam knew that Dean had not gone to university so he could look after Sam while their dad was away but he never really understood the immensity of the sacrifice until now, and even now he didn't fully understand it. Sam could remember studying for his SATS. Dean would appear now and again to ask how things were going, and if he needed anything. But he could also remember his dad being absent most of the time and when he was there, leaving Sam alone and doing his best to ignore him. When he wanted to go away to school, he had some pretty good screaming matches with his father and his dad had been close to smacking him more than once he was sure. Sam suddenly wondered if all the bruises Dean came back with after a hunt were from the hunt. Sam drifted of to sleep wondering how many times Dean had saved his skin that he didn't know about.


	14. Chapter 14 Work

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

Chapter 14 Work

Dean woke early the next morning, so early Sam was still snuggled in his blankets. Dean was happy Sam had seemed to have no nightmares last night , maybe talking about it had helped, who would have thought. He dressed quickly in sweats and T Shirt and pulled on cross trainers. He scribbled Sam a note telling him when he would be back and left the motel. He walked quickly down the road till he came to a park he had seen on the way to the motel yesterday afternoon.

At the park there was a football field marked out next to a toilet block so Dean decided to run around outside lines of the field. Dean walked a lap around the field as quick as he could walk without breaking into a run, he was glad the park was empty at this time of day because he was worried how well he could run at this point in his recovery. He stopped and did a few light stretches and started to jog slowly around the field.

After a lap of jogging he increased his pace to a fast jog. Now he stared to feel his injury's that were not quite healed , his broken arm throbbed and his ribs and left side started to burn first ,then his left shoulder felt the cast was to heavy to hold up, he felt the muscles complain loudly at this new stress. After four laps his back felt uncomfortable and his legs started to feel wobbly. Instead of stopping he pulled the Winchester stubbornness card out and increased his pace so that he was going at a slow run. At lap seven he got a stitch. A stitch! He hadn't had a stitch in years, how stupid; Dean knew what to with stitches: run through them, at least that's what_ he_ did. On his ninth lap Dean's headache came back pounding hollowly in his ears and his right knee which he had thought was completely healed was starting to feel loose and clicky. He was struggling for breath and just about had his tongue hanging out. Dean pushed into his tenth lap putting everything he had left into it, going at a fast run almost breaking into a sprint and for the last 300ft he _did_ sprint.

Dean didn't stop but slowed down slowly over half a lap, he had the biggest stitch he'd had in his life. He walked the rest of the lap with his hand on his hip and then spotted a tap outside the toilet block and he walked over and drank from the tap and then put his head under for a few seconds. He kept his head down and let the water drip of his head rather than try to shake it and add to his headache, he was feeling enough spikes of pain as it was. After a couple of minutes he walked over to a low fence and did some slow stretches. Then he walked back to the motel as fast as his trembling legs would let him, as he walked his stitch eased off and his left side started to feel better but his headache and sore back remained.

He walked into the motel room to hear the shower going, so Dean grabbed a bottle of water and drank it down with some Tylenol to dampen his headache. The shower shut off and Dean staggered to the kitchen to make coffee, as he pulled two cups out the cupboard, the room suddenly spun and he was down on one knee feeling very dizzy and hot. He stood slowly and felt slightly less dizzy but still very hot. He pulled his T shirt off and used it to fan himself, then wiped sweat off himself with it. After a few minutes he went back to making coffee feeling slightly better but still hot. He just finished the coffee making when Sam came out of the bathroom completely dressed except for his shoes. He took one look at Dean and rushed over to him. "Dean, what the Hell? Your note said you were going for a jog, what the hell happened?"

"I don't know. I got hot when I came back".

Sam felt Dean's forehead "Wow you're pretty warm, I'll get you some Tylenol".

"I just had some" said Dean "Headaches back".

"Did you go jogging with a headache?"

"No it came while I was out".

"Come over here". Sam walked Dean to the sink and pushed his head over the sink and used a glass to pour cool water over Dean's head. After a few minutes Sam stopped pouring water and grabbed a towel and dried Dean off.

"How do you feel?"

"A bit better, Thanks".

Sam took note of how slowly Dean was moving even though Dean was smiling slightly to make Sam feel better.

They stood in the kitchen and drank the coffee, Dean still in just his sweat pants and shoes. Sam kept an eye on Dean worrying about how warm he still looked; his face was still quite flushed as he leaned against the bench top. Sam noticed some sweat slide down Dean's chest, right down to his low slung sweat pants. Suddenly Sam started to feel hot, and flustered. He watched with fascination as a drop of sweat ran into Dean's navel. Damn that looked, Sexy! "Oh god" Sam thought "I'm at it again; well its Deans fault this time standing there with his top off sweating". At least Dean had put enough weight back on to think of him as sexy, not much but a little.

"Well, I better go hit the shower" Dean pushed himself off the bench and walked slowly toward his bag.

An hour later the boys were back on the road and Dean went into a deep sleep immediately. Sam woke him after an hour so he wouldn't get too sore but he woke to another blinding headache and took more headache tablets and drank more water. They stopped for breakfast and got the local paper and Sam used his laptop to see if there was work in the area. Dean drank more than he ate so Sam decided to keep a closer eye on his brother's appetite. After an hour Dean pushed the laptop aside and said to Sam "So you up for a salt and burn next state over".

Sam raised his eyebrows surprised at Dean's comment, he hadn't seen anything.

Dean took the paper from Sam and opened it to the obituary page and showed Sam what he had circled.

"Miss Jane Farr's funeral has been delayed until the 8th of July at Happy Meadows cemetery in Duwitch Kentucky, due to maintenance problems at the cemetery .Ok?" Sam looked over at Dean puzzled.

"I did some research on our cemetery in Duwitch and you wouldn't believe it, they have had some trouble burying the stiffs over there the last month. Three people are yet to be buried all due to maintenance problems .Turns out a 'mysterious invisible force' is playing with equipment and throwing rocks and dirt at the staff. Dean wiggled his eyebrows at Sam. "And it all started with a Claire Hooper a young woman who supposedly committed suicide. She was the last one to be buried before the trouble started up. But the newspaper reporter put just a hint of doubt in his story that it wasn't suicide but the woman had a good sized insurance policy and the husband was quite the drinker and abuser, apparently." Dean pushed the laptop around for Sam to read the newspaper article.

Sam read the article a frown of concentration on his face as Dean finished his coffee. "Ah Dean it doesn't say anything about the insurance claim here or the police report". Dean leaned over and opened two .Jpg files he had saved to the laptops hard drive. One was the page of the police report of a domestic dispute involving one Joe Hooper the other was the insurance docket for Claire Hooper's life insurance. "Where did you get these Dean? You didn't break into these sites did you?" Sam was starting to rub off on his brother.

"I wouldn't do that" said Dean innocently.

"No you wouldn't do that, but its good work none the less. So it's a straight salt and burn of her bones. You think she's pissed and wants Joe's blood, why doesn't she just leave the cemetery?"

"She probably hasn't worked out how to leave and go get him Sam. She's only been dead about a month, so we need to shag ass down there and put her to rest before she works it out".

"If she was killed by Joe maybe we should just let her get her revenge".

"That sounds good for justice and all but if she doesn't manage to leave the cemetery she may kill someone else in frustration. It sounds like these attacks are getting worse as time goes by. You know what angry spirits are like".

"Yeah well it's a six hour drive so we can do it tonight, if you feel up to it".

"Let's hit the road Sammy" said Dean in way of agreement.

The boys arrived in Duwitch just as night started to fall and decided to eat first and then get a motel room. When they had settled in Dean pulled out the local directory out to see where the cemetery was located and what the surrounding area was like. Sam used the internet to find out more about the cemetery itself. He found their website informative and even found the section where Claire would be buried. Sam crossed referenced his findings with Dean and they came up with a place to leave the car near by and a plan of how to go about the job. At what they felt was a reasonable time they left for the cemetery, where they found the place they wanted to leave the car. As they unloaded the car Sam raised his eyebrows at Dean as he took the second shovel out of the car and moved toward the cemetery. They walked quietly to the section they had memorized, it wasn't a long walk and the area surrounding the cemetery was vacant on one side and forest plantation on the other, nice and private. Using their flashlights the boys had to dodge rocks and piles of dirt as they neared Claire's grave. "Defiantly signs of an angry sprit" said Dean looking at the strewn about rocks.

"Yeah, she seems pissed", Sam murmured, approaching Claire's grave.

Once at the grave Sam opened the weapons bag and pulled out two shotguns loaded with rock salt, a container of rock salt, lighter fluid and more rock salt rounds. Dean made sure the guns were loaded and after putting more rounds in his jacket pocket dropped the weapons on the bag. Sam had started to dig in the area next to the headstone, and Dean grabbed the other shovel and started to dig next to him. "Are you sure you should be digging?" queried Sam.

"No idea, but it's better than sitting around".

"Don't over do it".

"I'll take it easy and stop when I've had enough".

Sam looked up at Dean; he was digging carefully, using his left hand in its cast as a pivot point only, mainly using his right side to dig, if nothing else he was adaptable. And when did Dean agree so readily? He was so used to Dean arguing the point when it came to his health that Sam realized he had a retort on his tongue that he now couldn't use.

"Just be careful" he said lamely.

After twenty minutes of digging Dean had begun to flag but by now they were more than five feet down, and the dirt was getting softer and easier as they went. Dean had worked up quite a sweat and could feel his heart thumping in his chest. Suddenly he got goose bumps on the back of his neck and his heart hitched for a second. Dean knew that feeling, it wasn't to be ignored. He planted the shovel into the ground and using his left elbow and right hand vaulted out of the hole into a roll coming up onto his feet at the bag, and snatching up a shot gun. Sam looked up in amazement as Dean vaulted out of the hole, "how did he do that?" Even with a broken arm and not yet at 100% Dean looked like a cat, his flexibility showing, as he rolled up and grabbed the weapon in one smooth movement. Bastard! Sam knew if he tried that he would look all arms and legs even if he managed to pull off the roll. Sam couldn't see anything but knew Dean felt the sprint just by his actions and the look in his eyes.

"Keep digging Sammy, I've got your back" Dean breathed heavily bringing the weapon up and flicking off the saftey.

Sam had dug only a few more shovels when the shot gun fired and Dean went flying backward.


	15. Chapter 15 Hospital

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

Chapter 15 Hospital

Dean could feel the air drop in temperature and crackle with ozone and he was firing on the spirit of Claire Hooper before she had a chance to fully materialize and attack them. So he thought for half a second: Claire was one pissed spirit by now, wanting to get out of the graveyard and take revenge for her death. So when she realized the boys were digging her bones up she decided to take her frustration out on them and she materialized in front of Dean fully primed to let go , no warning or villain tells the hero what's going to happen here , just all the power she could throw. Right. At. Dean. Who was blown back by the force, smoke still coming from the muzzle of the gun as he landed. Dean felt his back slam against a tombstone which winded him enough to let his arms go slack and his right arm that was still travelling from the recoil of the shotgun suddenly came at his face. He had half a second to try to pull his face out of the way or regain control of his arm, he tried both but all he managed to do was move his head slightly to the right and jerk the weapon slightly as it came down over his nose and over his left eye with a sickening crunch, and he was out.

"DEAN" yelled Sam as he jumped out of the hole and ran to his brother,looking all arms and legs. As he ran he grabbed a flashlight and the other shotgun, from on top of the bag. When he reached Dean, he was slumped in front of a tombstone, but he was already starting to move and grunting with pain. "Dean, god are you ok?" Dean raised his head slowly and Sam shone the flashlight on Dean's chest so he could see his face without blinding him. "Damn your nose's bleeding pretty good dude".

"Yeah?"

Dean started to struggle to his feet using the tombstone as a leaning post as he rose slowly, his back feeling sore and heavy and his legs wobbly and glass like. Dean's legs suddenly gave out and Sam slipped an arm around his back and leaned him back against the tombstone while he gathered and reloaded Dean's weapon. After a minute, Dean had another go at standing and was able to stay on his feet, for how long he wouldn't want to guess. Sam helped him back to Claire's gravesite and leaned Dean against a tombstone, and then he looked at Dean's face again assessing the damage. Dean's nose was bleeding freely down his face and neck onto his T shirt, but the cut above his eye was small and had almost stopped bleeding. There was a shallow cut on his nose but even though it was red with blood it had stooped bleeding for now. Sam gently felt Deans nose to assess if it was broken, the bone seemed ok, so they just needed to stop the blood nose. Sam put his fingers on Dean's nose and tipped his head forward slightly, but Dean put his hand up and pushed Sam's hand away gently. "Dean we need to stop the bleeding" he said softly, attempting to put his fingers back on Dean's nose.

"Not now Sammy, she might come back" Dean was gentle with his tone but urgent as well."I'll be ok. We need to finish up and get out of here". Dean pulled Sam's hand away from his face and placed the flashlight in it. "I will cover you, go". Sam noticed Dean's voice was snuffly with the blood in his nose but otherwise clear.

"Ok, I'll be as quick as I can".

Sam jumped back in the grave and went back to work, in a few minutes he heard the cluck of wood as he reached the coffin. Dean heard the shovel hit the coffin and raised himself slowly and limped over to the bag. As gently as he could he bent and grabbed a crowbar out and walked slowly to the hole and handed it down to Sam. As Sam set about opening the coffin, Dean walked over to the bag and hooked his foot through one of the shoulder straps and dragged the bag to the hole as he limped back to Sam. He unhooked his foot and left the bag with Sam and walked back to the tombstone keeping his head raised and the shotgun up even though his back was throbbing and now the dammed headache was back screaming at him, and his legs felt weak and wobbly.

He sat on top of a headstone and kept watch for Claire again, he felt sure she would make another appearance now they were down to the business end. His mouth felt warm, coppery and salty and he suddenly had to spit or throw up and he spat out a mouthful of blood onto the ground, Yuk. As soon as he looked back up Claire started to appear and Dean wasted no time firing rock salt at the first sign of her ,gritting his teeth through the noise the shotgun made banging through his head. She disappeared but Dean kept the weapon up and she reappeared again close to where she just was, Dean fired again and swapped his gun for Sam's gun and brought it up. Dean saw Sam move up out of the grave out the corner of his eye and then yellow fames whooshed up. Claire appeared for a second over her grave but she was screaming realizing she wouldn't have her revenge, she glowed bright for a moment and then vanished, and she was gone forever.

Dean leaned against the headstone with his fingers pinching his nose to stop the bleeding while Sam filled in the grave. Sam gathered the tools and weapons and put them in the bag and pulled Dean to his feet. His nose had stopped bleeding but the front of his shirt was covered in drying blood, he looked woozy on his feet, and he had spat out big mouthfuls of blood several times. Sam wanted to take Dean to the ER at least to have his back checked out after having such a bad accident less than two months ago. He was trying to work out a way to get Dean to go quietly as they walked back to the Impala, Dean leaning on the shovel and Sam as he limped along, Sam just about dragging him as they got closer to the car. Sam helped Dean in the car and put the tools in the trunk and got in to start the car. He looked over to Dean to say he wanted to take him to the ER but Dean's head was hanging down on his chest, his eyes closed. Sam scooted over to check on his brother, he checked his pulse and leaned his head back into the seat. His nose had started to bleed again but otherwise he was ok.

"I'm definitely taking you to the ER now" Sam said softly.

The ER visit turned into a nightmare, they got there just before some people involved in a car crash came in and Sam was left holding Dean up in a chair, blood streaming out of his nose for over forty minutes before they called for him to come into a cubicle to be seen by a Doctor. At least they gave him a cloth to hold to Dean's face, but he found it hard going when he had to hold Dean up, hold the cloth to his face _and_ fill out paperwork. He got some of Deans blood on the paperwork but wasn't sorry even though the nurse gave him a nasty look when she took the forms back. The look said, _How dare you put blood on my precious forms._

Sam's look back said, _How dare you keep my brother waiting while he bleeds everywhere._

Sam was starting to worry that Dean had been out so long; maybe the bump on the head was having more effect on him because of his recent brush with death. Sam had put on the forms that Dean had been in a car accident 6 weeks ago , to try and explain his previous injuries, and disclosed as many injuries that had been suffered as he could. His story for this time had been that Dean had hit his head (kind of true)and fallen down some stairs(not true but explained the sore back), because they were using a different ID this time.

Sam had laid Dean in a bed in the cubicle with help from a nurse and when the doctor came in to see Dean, his examination was quick and he seemed preoccupied, he didn't talk to Sam or acknowledge he was there. He had a rather harried looking nurse with him who smiled limply at Sam by way of apology. He put smelling salts rather roughly under Dean's nose and patted Dean's cheek so hard to wake him, Sam almost stepped in. Dean came to very groggy and disorientated looking lost until he saw Sam. Sam stepped closer to Dean to reassure him and Dean tried to get up reaching for Sam, but the doctor stepped over and pushed Dean back onto the bed but Dean didn't want any of it. He kept pushing to get up and the doctor turned seeing Sam, and said to the nurse "Get him out of here he is upsetting my patient".

"Sammy" Dean had no idea where he was but felt sure Sam could help him out. Sam was always there when he needed him lately and he might be able to get the grabby doctor off him.

"I'm not leaving my brother", said Sam.

"Sammy help" called Dean.

The doctor looked at the nurse and said "Now, nurse Collins".

"I'm, sorry" said the nurse "you will have to leave", she stepped between Sam and his brother, but her eyes looked sad at having to say it. Sam stepped forward to help his brother up who was still struggling when two male nurses pushed through the curtain into the cubicle. Sam noticed the call button on the wall glowing red; the doctor had called for help. The doctor said to one of the male nurses "Help nurse Collins, get him out of here" and gestured at Sam with his chin. One male nurse helped the doctor manhandle Dean back onto the bed; Sam could see Dean wanting to fight but his back being too sore to help him, although it looked like Dean may have hit the doctor with his cast as he was shaking his head like he'd been smacked a good one. The other male nurse and nurse Collins grabbed Sam by the arms and escorted him back to the waiting room and the male nurse tromped back to help with Dean saying to Sam before he strode off " I'm gonna call security if you keep it up".

Nurse Collins stayed with Sam for a moment. "I'm sorry, Dr Tuck is really quite good but he has a terrible bedside manner".

"You call that a bedside manner? My brother needs help not some guy slapping him around" Sam was seething.

"He will be alright".

Her parting words didn't comfort Sam at all. He paced the waiting room like a caged lion for two whole hours. He was just about to jump the counter and go get Dean when a nurse called him over. It wasn't nurse Collins; this nurse had no name tag and didn't introduce herself. As they got closer to where Sam had last seen Dean, Sam pulled in a big breath ready to confront the doctor. But Dean was lying on the bed alone much has Sam he'd last seen him except his boots were sitting on the ground with his belt tucked into them and his chest was bare and his pants undone and his jacket and shirt were balled up with his t shirt on the bench top.

Sam walked up to Dean and looked down into his face; Dean was slow to react but smiled up at Sam softly. Sam noticed Dean's nose was now clean and not bleeding, but his chest had goose bumps all over it as well as blood which had obviously soaked through his T shirt and Sam noticed Dean shiver slightly. "Dean are you cold?" Dean blinked up at Sam before nodding slowly. Sam reached over for Dean's shirt and laid it over his chest. Dean just blinked up at Sam sleepily. Sam turned to the nurse "What's going on? Where's the doctor?"

"The doctor had to go to surgery, but he said Mr. Mason is free to go" answered the nurse.

"But what did the doctor say about his back?"

"He said its fine, just some bruising; he gave him an injection for the pain and said that he should rest for a day or two".

"Did he do an X-ray or an ultrasound?"

"No, he didn't need to".

"Look, I put on the forms I filled out, that Dean's been in a major car accident recently, he had broken ribs severe bruising and lacerated kidney, don't you think they should have a look to be on the safe side since I had to carry him in here, for gods sake." Sam was starting to rant; he took a deep breath to try to control himself.

"The doctor gave him a thorough examination and was happy to give him the all clear; he gave him a couple of injections and a painkiller that should keep him comfortable until morning".

"What was in the injections?"

"A muscle relaxant and a sedative".

Sam turned to look at Dean and was surprised to find Dean awake just looking around tiredly. Something felt very wrong here, Dean should be hitting the roof at the display Sam just put on. He should want to get up and get dressed and get the hell out of here. "So what Deans just been lying here waiting for me to come and get him? For how long?" Sam was starting to get pissed majorly now.

"The doctor wanted the sedative to wear off a bit so that you can take him home. And that would give the painkiller time to do its job".

"What is the muscle relaxant for?"

"Well the doctor felt his stomach and back muscles were tensing up and hurting his back more. Also it would help keep him calm when he woke up; his reaction when he woke up earlier was a little violent". Her voice was getting smaller the longer she spoke as if she felt Sam might smack her in the face, which is precisely what he felt like doing.

"People tend to wake up violently if they are slapped awake" spat Sam he took a breath in "look I'm sorry I just want to take my brother home ok?"

"Ok, he is free to go".

And she left as fast as her legs could go.


	16. Chapter 16 Kiss

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

Chapter 16 Kiss

Sam walked over to Dean and grabbed the T shirt from the bench top and said to Dean "Time to go buddy? Time to put your shirt on?"

Dean frowned up at Sam and made no effort to move, so Sam slowly pulled the shirt off that he had draped over him before. "Dude you wanna do up your pants?" Sam joked. Dean didn't move just blinked up slowly at Sam. "Ah great" Sam sighed and zipped Deans pants up and did the button up; he did it as quickly as he could before Dean decided to punch him out. But Dean just lay there like the ceiling was the most interesting thing in the world, his eyes were very glassy.

Sam turned to the bench which held an assortment of medical supply's and grabbed some moist wipes from a container and wiped Dean's chest and neck over getting off as much blood as he could then threw them in the trash grumbling to Dean that the nursing staff could have done that for him.

Sam pulled Dean up into a sitting position,he decided not bother putting the T shirt back on Dean as it was stiff with dried blood so Sam pulled his shirt over one arm then the other and did up the buttons . Dean was floppy but stayed sitting. Sam had got a quick look at Deans back as he was dressing him and there were some nice red marks down his spine starting to bruise up already. He left the jacket off as too hard and balled the T shirt up inside the jacket to clean later and held Dean up with one hand and picked his boots and belt up with the other. Sam pushed Dean's boots on and leaned his shoulder into Dean's chest to hold him up while he loosely knotted the laces. Sam pulled Dean down off the bed to the ground and was grateful when Dean didn't fall to the ground.

He stood looking quite floppy and punch-drunk, and to Sam's surprise his pants started to fall down. "Well looks like the belt goes on" thought Sam and started pushing the leather through the loops of Dean's jeans. When he was threading the loops on the back of Dean's jeans with both his arms around Dean as he did it, Dean leaned into him and put his head on Sam's shoulder. Sam feed the belt through and got to the front and started threading the leather through the buckle, when he looked for a hole to push the pin through Sam noticed a new hole in the leather that Dean must have made recently. This new hole was best suited to Dean now. Dean had taken his belt _in_ to fit him. Damn it Dean! Just then Sam felt Dean's arms come around him loosely and Dean seemed to melt into Sam. "Come on Dean .Time to go" Sam said against Dean's shoulder. Why did Dean have to be so cuddly now?

Sam got Dean out to the Impala without him falling over and cracking his head on the pavement, just. When they got back to the motel it felt like a welcome home, after the chaos at the hospital. Sam had left the heat on so the room was toasty, just as well because Dean was shivering even in his sleepy state. Sam grabbed Dean's bag and led him to a kitchen chair and sat him down then he took off Dean's shirt and put a fresh T shirt on Dean and Dean's only hoodie. Then he pulled Dean up and stood him next to the bed and undid his belt. As he unthreaded Dean's belt he got a repeat performance of what he got at the hospital, Dean half leaned half snuggled into Sam's neck and hugged him, and he banged Sam's lower back painfully with his cast. Sam let Dean hug him as long as he wanted which turned out to be about two minutes before Deans legs started to let go and Sam was lowering him to the bed. He pulled Deans boots and jeans off and tugged sweat pants on to keep him warm, then maneuvered him under the blankets.

As he tucked Dean in Sam got a surprise when Dean's arm grabbed his shirt and pulled him down. Dean slid his arm around Sam's neck and pulled him down into a rough hug. As Sam pulled back Dean looked Sam in the eye and said "Sammy?" somewhat slurred.

"Yeah, Dean?" Sam's heart was thumping in his ears. Damn Dean invading his personal space like this.

" Love you, Sammy" very slurred, Deans eyes were so close to Sam's now he could see the tiny flecks of green and the very light sprinkling of freckles under his eyes and those lovely long lashes.

"I love you too Dean".

Dean pushed his mouth at Sam's , the hard mash of lips on lips , it was like being kissed by a drunk, Sam thought , just remember he is off his face on drugs ,won't remember this at all, don't take advantage of your own brother. Then Dean pulled back just enough so their lips were still in contact but there was no pressure behind it, ok not like being kissed by a drunk. Just as Sam was about to pull away Dean licked Sam's bottom lip with his tongue, Sam gasped and opened his mouth automatically for Dean but he didn't push in but gently licked Sam's lip again. Sam's heart was beating like a freight train as he took Deans bottom lip between both of his, oh my god this was what it was like to kiss Dean. No wonder he had the girls lined up. But why so many one night stands? Sam was sure if he had tasted this before he would want more. Sam dismissed it from his mind and enjoyed this light touch with Dean, he tried to deepen the kiss but Dean was keeping it so light it was almost like a tease. Dean licked Sam's top lip, and then Sam pushed his way into Deans mouth, Dean didn't push Sam out but lay his tongue lightly on Sam's tongue. Sam tasted the coppery tang of blood in Dean's mouth and something else he didn't know. Sam bought his hand up to Deans face but Dean was falling backward into the pillows his mouth moving from Sam's. Sam at first thought Dean had come to his senses and had moved away on purpose but then he saw Dean was limp under his hand and he realized the medication had taken its toll on Dean and he had passed out cold.

Sam woke suddenly an hour after he had gone to sleep to Dean crying out in pain and flicked on the bedside lamp to see him crawling toward the bathroom door on his elbows. Sam leaped from the bed and raced in front of Dean to switch on the bathroom light and opened the door fully. He had barley enough time to get out of the way before Dean made the bathroom doorway and with his eyes barley open vomited blood onto the bathroom floor. While Dean held his head slightly off the floor panting, Sam checked Dean's bed for blood, but it was clean and the blankets were hanging off the bed onto the floor and the bedside lamp was knocked over. Even in his drug addled state Dean knew where to go when he need to vomit, too many years of living in motels had given him an inbuilt instinct. Sam heard Dean heave again and more blood was vomited onto the floor.

Sam padded over to Dean and rolled him on his side, Dean's eyes were closed and he looked washed out. "Come on, lets get you back to bed" Sam started to lift Dean but Dean stopped him with his hand and shock his head. Dean didn't say anything but Sam felt Deans body convulse as another wave of nausea flowed through him. "Dean, I should take you back to the hospital, that's a lot of blood".

Dean looked pitifully up at Sam and whispered to him.

"Its ok Sammy, it's from the blood nose, I'm done throwin up, just feel bad".

"You sure?"

Dean nodded his head in slow agreement and was racked with more dry heaves.

"You wanna go back to bed yet?"

Dean shook his head slowly.

"Ok. I'll clean up, and then get you back to bed".

Sam grabbed a blanket off the bed and draped it over Dean and then grabbed a tea towel from the kitchen and sopped up the blood on the bathroom floor and rung the towel several times and rinsed it in the bathroom sink. As he worked he realized Dean was right, the blood looked darker and somehow older than fresh blood, blood that had been sitting in the stomach waiting to come back up. Sam had just finished the floor and was giving the towel a final rinse with soapy water when he noticed Dean crawling towards the toilet. Sam reached over and flicked the lid up just in time for Dean to throw up, not so violent this time and mainly food from earlier in the day. Dean spent another ten minutes dry heaving into the bowl before face planting the floor in exhaustion. Sam pulled Dean to his feet and half carried him to bed, noticing how much Dean was shaking now the vomiting was over. Once Dean was tucked into bed Sam got Dean a glass of water mainly to clear his mouth out. Dean managed half the glass before pushing it weakly away and closing his eyes almost already back to sleep. Sam made sure Dean was on his side and comfortable then placed a wastepaper basket beside the bed before going back to bed himself.

Later that morning Sam got up and showered, shaved and dressed and made coffee for himself and Dean and opened his laptop and worked as he waited for Dean to wake up. When his coffee was finished and Deans cold, Dean was still asleep. Sam went over to check his brother, he was curled in a lose ball with his cast pulled to his chest covered by his other arm. Sam felt Deans head, his temperature was ok, just to be on the safe side he checked Dean's pulse which was strong and slow. Sam decided to let Dean sleep the drugs off and went to the motel office and paid for another night. Then he went over to the nearby diner and bought himself breakfast and read the local paper. He bought a muffin and orange juice for Dean and went back to the room to find Dean in exactly the same position he had left him in.

After surfing the net and playing solitaire for an hour, Sam got bored and went through the bags for washing. There was a coin operated laundry two doors down and Sam wandered down and did the laundry which included Deans blood stained T shirt, shirt and jacket from the night before. When he got back Dean still hadn't moved so Sam checked him again and went to grab some lunch. He bought take away sandwiches for him and Dean and two cups of coffee. He went back to the room and put the TV on while he ate flicking through all the daytime TV shows he couldn't stand and ended up watching The Simpsons. When Sam had finished his coffee he drank Deans because it was going cold anyway. He put Dean's sandwich in the mini bar fridge and channel flicked for another hour before getting bored and turning it off. Sam checked Dean again; he hadn't moved his face still slack with sleep. The cut above his eye had some bruising around it and was slightly raised on a small bump and his nose still looked a little swollen, but no big bruises under his eyes like Sam thought might happen. Dean seemed to be able to get away with getting beaten and having not much to show for it, maybe it was all the years of hunting that did it, made Dean tough. That's probably why Dean was still sleeping off the drugs, he wasn't used to having drugs pumped into him, his normal self medication being in a bottle, or if it was real bad some pain tablets and alcohol. Sam was starting to worry, so he rolled Deans head over and rubbed his hand down Dean's face. "Come on Dean, time to wake up. Come on buddy lunch time" he was sure the mention of food would get Dean up. But Dean' eyes stayed closed and he didn't move a muscle. "What the hell kind of drugs did they give him?" Sam wondered wildly. Dean was obviously over medicated and was going to have to sleep it off, but Sam was worried about dehydration, because the last thing Dean had to drink was half a glass of water early this morning.

Mid afternoon found Sam cleaning out the trunk of the Impala. He had driven the car around the back of the motel where it was quiet and secluded. There wasn't much to do just cleaning and repacking the shotguns from the night before. It was amazing how much Sam missed Dean even though he was still there just not _here;_ he missed Dean's chatter and his company. He would have even enjoyed Dean stirring him up as he liked to do, Sam knew it was all in fun and his brother loved him as much as he loved Dean; it was just Deans way, his sense of humor. Even though Sam was the target more times than not, he missed it when Dean was not with him. Those years at Stanford had been hard without his brother, he had tended to make friends with people who had funny sense of humor like Dean but they never replaced Dean so he found it hard to talk about Dean to anyone, even Jessica. When he started hunting again after Jessica's death he realized Jess and Dean were similar people and that he had been with Jess for that reason. He still loved Jess but it was a different love than he had for Dean. Sam started thinking about the kiss he had shared with Dean last night it had been warm and wonderful in Dean's mouth and Dean had kissed him back to certain extent. But as had been reminding himself all day Dean had been drugged to the eyeballs. The question remained, would Dean remember when he finally woke up?

And what did he want himself? A better relationship with his brother for one. He had never been with a guy before and never thought he would but something had happened to the way he felt about Dean lately and Deans actions had been different since he feel through the roof. What if Dean wanted to do more than kiss? Sam had enjoyed the kiss and on several occasions felt himself wanting Dean. Maybe Dean had been letting more of his feelings out since falling through the roof but there was a change in Dean before then, around when their dad had died. Sam had noticed the change in Dean around then and had tried to be as supportive as he could. Something difficult to do with a brother like Dean. Sam hated to say it but he liked the change in Dean. He liked Deans caring and sharing side and it was a thrill to Sam to see it still existed and Dean was giving Sam glimpses of it now like he did when Sam was growing up and had a problem he needed Dean's help with. They were the only times Dean would let Sam see he had that side of him. Sam had begun to think Dean had locked it away around the time Sam went off to school and would never let it out again. Sam decided he would take what he could get from Dean and follow his heart and show Dean he loved him as much as he could.

_TBC_


	17. Chapter 17 Ice

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

Chapter 17 Ice

Sam drove the Impala back to the room and parked out front, and went in to check his brother. Dean was unmoved since he last saw him, and now Sam felt it was time Dean at least had some fluid in him. Sam grabbed a bottle of water from the mini fridge and tried to rouse Dean by patting his face gently and talking to him. When he remained still Sam put the cool bottle of water against Dean's face, a bit cruel but he wanted some kind of reaction from Dean, anything would be better than nothing. After a few minutes Sam took the bottle away, it had cooled Deans skin but got no reaction from him.

"Enough is enough Dean you have to wake up now" Sam pulled Dean up into a very limp sitting position and leaned Dean's back into his side. Sam tipped Deans head back a little and poured a little water into Dean's mouth. He rubbed Dean's throat with his other hand to get Dean to swallow, and let out a breath when Dean swallowed. Sam got half a bottle of water into Dean, taking his time and stroking Dean's throat, then Dean closed his mouth and shook his head slowly. Sam was rewarded with Dean opening his eyes slowly and looking up into Sam's face, and then he pushed his face into Sam's neck. Sam saw this as a sign Dean wanted to go back to sleep so he pulled Deans face off his neck and held it between his large hands, he wanted Dean to stay awake for a little while to assess how he was feeling and how much longer he was going to need to sleep the medication off. "Come on Dean. Wake up buddy". Dean opened his eyes, barley. "That's it, you can do it". Sam pulled Dean up off the bed and put his arm over his shoulder and walked him around the room , or should he say dragged him round the room. Dean's head lolled forward as Sam walked him round and after a few minutes he started to feel less cloudy and was able to recognize Sam's heavy breathing in his ear.

"What we doin?" He slurred out.

"You are waking up for me Dean; you've been asleep for a long time. I want your company for a bit".

"mmm" mumbled Dean ,but he took more of his weight off Sam seeming to realize his little brother was having a hard time. After a few more minutes Dean was walking a bit steadier Sam sat him on a kitchen chair, Sam was puffing a little but Dean just looked tired. Sam held Dean up with one hand, and opened the bottle of water and helped Dean to drink the rest of the bottle.

"How are you feeling?" Sam asked Dean.

"Really tired. What did they give me at the hospital? It was hospital right?" Dean's voice was barely a murmur; his throat was husky from disuse and vomiting.

"You remember the hospital?"

"Bits and pieces".

"Do you remember the doctor?"

"The rough guy with the white coat, trying to stop me getting up?"

"That's the one; he gave you plenty of drugs man. I think you scared the crap out of him".

"Huh" Dean was starting to look sleepy again. Sam leaned forward and put his hand on Dean's thigh.

"Before you fall back to sleep, do you want some food?" Before Dean could answer Sam pushed Dean back in the chair and was up getting the sandwiches out of the fridge. He opened the box and handed Dean half a sandwich, Dean looked less than enthusiastic but seeing his brothers worried eyes he took a bite and chewed slowly.

"Where's yours?" Dean asked Sam after he swallowed the bite.

"This is _your_ lunch, which was almost six hours ago. How's your back feel?"

"A bit tender" Dean admitted.

"What about your face?"

"Numb, that would be the drugs you think?"

"Probably, you feel like they are still in your system?"

"Mmm" Dean nodded slowly, chewing but still looking sleepy.

"You want the other half?" Sam offered Dean the rest of the sandwich as he pushed the last of the first half into his mouth. Dean made a face around his bite of sandwich and put his hand on his stomach which Sam took as "if I have any more I'll explode". Sam put the sandwich away and turned back to Dean. "You can go back to bed if you want, but I want to take a look at your back first".

To Sam's surprise Dean started to pull his hoodie sleeve off his cast, he found it hard going and Sam helped Dean pull the top off and then the T shirt underneath. Dean shifted around in the chair so Sam could see his back, his right hand on the back of the chair to steady himself his left hand in his lap. Sam's breath caught in his chest when he saw the bruise down Deans back, the dark bruise was on both sides of his spine but slightly wider directly behind the surgery Dean had for his kidney laceration. Sam followed the bruise at the widest point around to Dean's front; the skin looked blotched and slightly swollen as it came toward the scar from his last operation. It was fairy close to the scar from the Harpies claws that he had sewn himself but not close enough to cause the skin to have the colour and swelling it had. Sam lifted Deans left arm out of the way slightly, causing Dean to look down at him.

"That's not my back Sammy".

"I know, Dean does this hurt?" He pressed his hand lightly to the area, his fingers rubbing across the scar. He noticed some warmth as well.

"Makes my back hurt a bit more", Dean winced slightly.

"We should ice it up, it looks sore".

Dean nodded slowly and Sam realized Dean would agree to anything just to go back to sleep, he looked dead on his feet. Sam pulled Deans T shirt and hoodie back on and helped him up and back into bed. Sam grabbed a medium sized clear plastic bag, which he sometimes used for laundry and went the ice machine in the office and half filled it with ice. Sam tied the bag off and wrapped a thin towel around it. He pulled the covers off Dean and rolled him on his right side and pulled the hoodie and T shirt up on his left side, then gently placed the wrapped ice on Dean's swollen side.

"Fuck" hissed Dean as the coldness hit, he tried to push the ice off.

"Its ok Dean, this will make you feel better". Sam lowered himself to the bed and placed his right hand over the ice and slid his left arm under Dean's right shoulder pulling Deans body into him effectively stopping Dean pulling the ice off his side. Dean balked slightly at the close contact then he realized what Sam was doing, taking his mind of the coldness, and he hugged Sam tight with both arms. Sam pulled his arm off the ice for a second to pull the covers up and keep the rest of Dean as warm as he could. Dean settled in Sam's arms and his head dropped on the pillow, but when Sam pulled back slightly to look at his face his eyes were open.

Dean's face was so close he should be uncomfortable, instead he felt warm and proud to be looking after Dean for once. Dean looked into his brothers eyes, they were lovely eyes up so close, and he felt warm and protected even with the ice on his side. He liked Sam looking after him, he never thought he would, he had always done the looking after, the protecting, hiding his own injury's and ignoring the pain. Dean knew something had happened to him when their father had died; it was life altering when a parent died. John had been something of a hero to Dean.

As far as being a great hunter went Dean felt his dad had been the best, something of a superman. And superman didn't just die, damn it, that wasn't meant to happen. And then dying for him, so Dean could live in his place? He had never felt more undeserving in his life. Then he had realized why his father had done it, to keep the boys together and that's when his outlook had begun to change. He wasn't meant to be with Sam just to save him, Sam was Dean's life, and Dean was Sam's life, the things they would do for each other were insurmountable. Dean had been feeling it was time he showed Sam how he felt about him and why not now? He could blame it on the drugs when Sam tried to snot him one. Hey hang on didn't Sam kiss him earlier? Last night? Before he threw up, that was it.

Dean snatched the memory from where it was hiding, it had been good right? One way to find out, and before sleep took him again as it was threatening to do, Dean leaned forward and to his left and snuggled under Sam's right ear , he was rewarded with Sam snuggling into his neck and took the chance and moved up to where Sam's jaw meet his neck and kissed him softly. Sam took a breath in and held it, Dean was kissing him of his own accord, just play cool and see what happens. Dean put his cheek against Sam's and rubbed them together stubble on stubble, weird; it felt pretty sexy to Dean. He kissed Sam's cheek where his cheek had been, and Sam released the breath he had been holding and growled low in his throat. Holy crap that was great! Then Dean kissed the corner of his mouth, lips soft and moist. Sam turned his mouth onto Deans wanting more, and Dean reciprocated putting Sam's bottom lip between his and sucking softy and then licking along it lovingly.

Sam wanted to push his tongue into Deans' mouth but Dean held his mouth closed kissing Sam's lips softly; Sam stopped pushing for entry and enjoyed the kiss. Dean's right hand stroked Sam's lower back and Sam sighed against Deans mouth, Dean smiled against Sam's mouth and opened his lips and took Sam's top lip between his and gently nibbled on it. As Dean let go of Sam's lip, Sam pushed his tongue gently into Dean's mouth and Dean opened his mouth for Sam. Sam felt a line of heat streak up his stomach and chest as he plundered Deans mouth with his tongue, he took his hand off the ice and put it behind Dean's neck pushing his thumb under Dean's jaw to improve the angle and deepen the kiss.

Dean let Sam explore his mouth pushing his tongue against Sam's and enjoying the sensation. Dean's right hand snaked down to the bottom of Sam's T shirt and moved up under the clothes to Sam's bare skin and smoothed its way up Sam's back rubbing softly over the warm skin. Sam felt himself harden as Dean's hand smoothed over his bare skin; he had to pull out of Dean's mouth because he had no breath left. When Sam pulled his head back to pull in a breath, Dean pushed his head forward and latched onto Sam's throat with his lips, he kissed and sucked and licked at Sam's throat and Sam _moaned_ loudly unable to hold his enjoyment in. Sam pulled Deans head back up wanting more of him but Dean surprised him by thrusting his tongue into Sam's mouth and Sam was instantly hard and getting close climax in just a few seconds. Dean's tongue explored Sam's mouth gently and lovingly, never seeming to get enough. Dean lifted his right thigh up between Sam's legs and moved his left leg over Sam's right deepening the contact between Sam's erection and his hard muscled thigh. Sam ran has hand through Dean's hair, loving the feeling of the hair over his fingers, Dean pushed deeper and harder into Sam's mouth and Sam felt the pooling in his belly and he was suddenly rock hard and aching for release, he moaned Deans name into his mouth. Dean pushed his right thigh harder against Sam's hard erection feeling the hardness through the material and Sam pumped against it fitfully, fighting Dean's mouth for dominance with his tongue and fisting Dean's hair painfully hard. And all too soon Sam climaxed long and hard panting into Dean's mouth, his moan of delight muffled against Deans mouth.

_TBC_

* * *

_Thanks again to anyone who has reviewed this story -not far to go now._


	18. Chapter 18 Books

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

Chapter18 Books

Sam felt embarrassed once he had calmed down, all they had done was kiss and he had fired off like a hair trigger, it made Sam feel like he might have needed this for a lot longer than he had thought. He knew Dean was sexy, everyone knew that but, come on his brother? Without the fact he just kissed a guy properly for the first time, and it wasn't weird at all, the opposite to weird in fact. And his brother who was normally so macho had been loving and caring, there for him while he was still sick. Sam removed the ice from Dean's side; the twenty minutes were up and stayed snuggled with Dean until he fell asleep, once Sam stopped kissing him it only took a minute.

For Dean's part he had kissed his brother as he came down from his orgasm and stayed in his arms being loving and tender, though he looked and felt very tired. Dean couldn't fault Sam for going so quickly, he may have as well if it hadn't been for all the drugs , he'd had a hard enough time as it was to keep up with Sam. But as far as Dean was concerned he deserved it, and wanted his baby brother to have it. Once Dean was asleep Sam got up put the ice in the tiny freezer and had a shower and cleaned up and got into sweats for the night. He rang for pizza and watched TV till it came, then after he ate he surfed the web for a while before putting ice on Dean's side again. Dean stayed asleep and didn't move or try to push the ice off so Sam sat at Dean's bedside channel flicking while he waited for the twenty minutes to be up. Sam sat up long enough to put the ice on Dean one more time, and then went to bed thinking hard about what had transpired that night.

Sam woke quickly at three in the morning alert that something had woken him. He looked over and saw the bedside lamp on and Dean sitting on the side of his bed looking over at him. "Hey Dean you ok?" Sam asked as he swung out of bed.

"Need to use the can", Dean stood slowly and shakily. Sam moved to Dean's side and put his arm around his shoulder and helped him to the bathroom. Sam left Dean in the bathroom and when Dean was finished Sam helped him back to bed, Dean seemed steadier on his feet on the way back. When Sam tucked Dean back in, Dean put his hand on Sam's arm and said a quiet "Thanks". Sam nodded and headed back to his bed, as he turned his head Dean thought he saw a flash of disappointment? Unhappiness? Well Dean wasn't having any of that! As Sam came around the bed, Dean called to him "Sammy". Sam looked over to Dean and Dean pulled the covers off the right side of the bed at patted the bed with his right hand "Come here". Sam smiled shyly at Dean and got carefully into bed facing away from Dean. Dean put his arms around Sam after he reached up and turned off the light.

Sam woke up to the suns rays coming in the window, and realized he'd just had his best sleep for along time, well not since he'd had that nightmare and Dean had spent the rest of the night with him. He felt Dean's strong arms around him, and burrowed closer to Dean feeling his breath on the back of his neck. Sam stayed like that until his bladder could take no more and he had to get up. When he got up he was surprised to see it was after nine am, much later than he thought. He grabbed his shaving stuff and had a shower and got dressed thinking about breakfast.

When he came out of the bathroom he was surprised to find Dean awake lying with his head on the pillows looking up at him. Sam was suddenly tentative around Dean, he was wondering how much of last night was drugs and how much of it was Dean wanting it. Or worse he did not remember it at all . Or what if he remembered it and was freaked out about it, they were brothers after all and now they had crossed the line into territory that was more than a kiss. Sam for his part didn't regret it at all but he worried that Dean would freak out this morning and hurt him big time. But his fears were soon alleviated as he took the plunge to talk to his brother. "Hey, how you feelin?" He said walking up to his brother and sitting on the bed.

"Better" Dean looked much brighter than last time he had been awake.

"Feel like some breakfast?"

"Yeah I'm hungry".

"Good, I'll grab some from the diner. What do you feel like?"

"Mmm, eggs , maybe an omelet, no ham though stomach feels a bit off".

"Ok, I'll be back soon, you need the bathroom or anything before I go?"

"Water".

Sam got Dean a bottle of water and grabbed his wallet and keys, as he was about to walk out the door Dean called him back. "What Dean?" Dean lifted his hand in a come here gesture. Sam walked over and Dean sat up and pulled Sam down to him, and kissed him fully on the lips.

"So you don't miss me too much" Dean said cheekily as he pulled back to see a stunned but relived Sam.

When Sam returned with breakfast Dean was asleep but when he planted a kiss on Dean's cheek, Dean woke up slowly and smiled up at Sam. "You ready for breakfast?"

"Sounds good" yawned Dean as he sat up and pushed the pillows up behind his back against the headboard. Sam bought Deans breakfast over and served it to him in bed and went back for his, he grabbed the remote and went to sit on his bed but Dean patted the bed next to him and Sam sat next to Dean careful not to jostle his breakfast. Dean ate slowly and didn't finish all his food, Sam didn't push because he knew Deans stomach would feel a bit delicate for a day or two but after that he was going to push as much food into Dean as he could no excuses or hiding it. Sam cleared the breakfast containers away and brought over two cups of coffee, both sipping slowly as they watched TV , their arms brushing against each other comfortably. After a while Dean rested his head on Sam's shoulder and started to nod off, Sam grabbed Dean's half full coffee cup before it fell out of his hand. Sam put his arm around Dean and pulled his head to his chest and watched TV enjoying his brother's warmth. After a while Sam lay Dean back down under the covers, went to the table and opened his computer and looked for some work and found a few towns in the same area of Tennessee that had some mysterious deaths. He researched as much as he could and then decided a trip to the library might be a good idea. He wrote a note for Dean deciding to take the Impala and fuel up while he was out.

Dean woke up to find the motel room empty and himself quite thirsty. He got up on slightly shaky legs and got another bottle of water and drank half it down while standing next to the sink reading Sam's note. He went to his bag and pulled out his shaving gear and toothbrush, and proceeded to the bathroom for a long overdue shave and wash. When he saw himself in the mirror he decided he didn't look as bad as he felt and thought a shower might make him feel better and less tired. Man they must have been some strong drugs they had pumped into him; he could still feel the effects in his system. He grabbed a towel and some fresh clothes and had a short shower being careful of his cast and washing his hair thoroughly as he was sure he saw some blood in there when he had looked in the mirror. After shaving, brushing his teeth and putting on clean sweats, Dean put his clothes and kit back in his bag and finished the bottle of water he had started before his shower. He grabbed another bottle and headed back to bed sitting against his pillows and watching TV. After a while he started to fall asleep so he snuggled down under the covers.

Sam came back to the room at one o'clock and had with him lunch for the both of them. As he dropped the bag on the table he noticed the empty water bottle in the trash and the half full bottle on the floor by Dean's bed. He walked softly over to check on Dean and as he approached Dean woke looking up at his brother as he loomed over him. "You've been up" said Sam lightly.

"Yeah, I got cleaned up, feel much better" he yawned.

"You look better" Sam slid the back of his fingers down Dean's clean cheek. Dean grabbed a fistful of Sam's shirt and pulled him down, so that his face was level with Deans, and pushed forward so his mouth was near Sam's ear.

"And I brushed my teeth" Dean breathed in Sam's ear. Sam felt Deans breath all the way down his spine, but his breath was taken from him when Dean moved back and kissed Sam fully on the lips. Sam smelled Deans clean mouth and opened his for more; they kissed into each others mouths the kiss loving and passionate. Sam tasted Dean for the first time with out any other tastes in his mouth mixing with the taste of Dean, and he loved it. He pushed Dean back into the bed and moved his hand on the back of Dean's neck, enjoying the feeling. Dean put his hand in Sam's hair then moved it down to Sam's back stroking softly. Sam came up for air and looked into Deans eyes, Dean didn't look away or say anything just looked at Sam lovingly, his hand had moved back up and was stroking Sam's face. Sam's questions to himself that morning were suddenly all groundless, this was what he had been waiting for all his life. Sam knew Dean said nothing because there was nothing to say. They were made for each other case closed. And they both knew it.

After lunch Dean asked Sam what he had been up to and he told Dean about the possible hunt he had found. Sam bought the laptop over and Dean looked at what Sam had found agreeing it looked like a hunt but saying as Sam felt, it could be any number of things causing the deaths. Dean surprised Sam by saying he felt they should hit the road tomorrow to go and have a look, then he surprised Sam further by getting his wallet out and giving him a one hundred dollar note and telling Sam to go hit a book shop and get himself some books not related to the supernatural while they were near a town big enough to have a largish bookshop. Something Sam wanted to read not something he had to read. "Eh, why Dean?"

"You always liked story books growing up but dad wouldn't buy you any, even for a birthday. You should get something _you_ would enjoy, say if you were not hunting anymore. And buy them not steal them from the library, they are _your _books then. And you do have an afternoon to kill."

"What are you going to do?" Sam eyed Dean suspiciously.

Dean lay back on his pillows, "finish sleeping these damn drugs off so we can hit the road tomorrow".

Sam enjoyed his time at the bookstore picking six books he really wanted and realized if had an open ticket he could have easily picked another four or five. So it turned out Dean was right, _again. _Sam decided to do something nice for Dean and bought a new copy of Back in Black on tape as his copy was a bit worn out.

When Dean woke up Sam was sitting at the kitchen table with the sun on his back reading one of his new books. Dean sat up slowly pulling off his hoodie as he felt too hot with it on. He got up slowly and padded over to Sam silently, so silently Sam jumped a little when Dean put his hand on Sam's shoulder. Sam looked up with a smile, happy to see Dean up and around. Dean smiled down at Sam and leaned over Sam's shoulder to see what he was reading. A novel, cool, Sam had done what he asked. He saw on the table a short stack of books, and smiled at Sam happy to see his brother with something for himself.

Dean moved around to face Sam not taking his right hand off Sam's left shoulder, and swung his left leg over Sam's legs and sat on Sam's lap. Sam pulled his legs off the table giving Dean his full lap to sit on, and then lowered the book to the floor. Sam noticed Dean was wearing just a T Shirt and sweat pants, and he wrapped his arms around Dean to feel him through his T shirt. Dean rubbed his face against Sam's, both faces clean shaven feeling smooth and soft. Sam moved his mouth to Dean's throat, kissing and moving his lips over Dean's clean skin. Dean pulled his head back with a low moan, and Sam licked and sucked at Deans Adams apple and over his pulse point. Sam lifted his head and kissed at Dean's mouth with open mouthed sloppy kisses.

Dean opened his mouth and licked at Sam's lips; Sam took Dean's plump bottom lip in his lips and sucked and nipped then licked it softly. Dean plunged his tongue into Sam's mouth and Sam curled his tongue around Dean's. Sam's hands moved up and down Dean's back softly enjoying feeling the toned muscles. As they deepened the kiss Sam's hands moved up and under Dean's T shirt and Sam's stomach dropped and he hardened instantly when he felt his skin on Dean's. Dean's hand moved down to Sam's left side then across his tight abdominals, then Dean was pulling Sam's shirts up over his head and Sam leaned forward slighty and helped him pull them off. Dean's hand travelled smoothy over Sam's chest and stomach while they kissed desperately. Sam was as hard as a rock and confined in his jeans, Dean seemed to know and his hand moved to Sam's jeans and undid the belt buckle, button and fly with amazing dexterity. One minute Sam was confined and thinking he was going to go in his pants again the next Dean had him out and free and was rubbing down his length so smoothly and with such skill it was intoxicating. Who knew Dean was so good with his hands? Well one hand at least for now. Sam moaned into Dean's mouth and felt the orgasm build so quickly he had to pull away from Dean's mouth and pant harshly into his shoulder, his hips rocked up against Dean's hand of they're own accord, he wanted it to last but it was so good he just couldn't think of anything but the pleasure he was feeling."Oh god Dean " he breathed and just as he felt he might get himself slightly under control and help Dean out a bit, he felt warm slippery liquid smooth its way down his shaft and looked down to see Dean had produced a small packet of lube and had let the empty packet fall to the floor while he stroked harder and faster with his hand using his thumb to swipe at the head as he snapped his wrist and twisted his hand as he worked. The added slipperiness and Deans magic fingers pushed Sam back to gasping quickly and he felt his orgasm hit and he only had time to yell "Dean" into Dean's neck as he came long and hard into Dean's hand. He couldn't believe the pleasure Dean had given him just with his hand, but then again he had gone the night before just from kissing Dean, well with some help from Deans leg.

As Sam calmed down he realized he had gone twice and Dean hadn't gone at all and he suddenly wondered if Dean was doing it just for him. He snatched his T shirt off the floor and quickly wiped Dean's hand and his stomach off. Dean tucked him back into his pants and did his jeans up without looking at him. Sam lifted Dean's head up with his hand "Are you doing this just for me Dean?"

"No, Sammy I'm not". Dean looked Sam in the eye and Sam saw no lie there.

"Its just I've gone twice now and you haven't gone at all, I'm sorry".

"Sam, there's no need to keep score. I'm doing it because I want to. It feels right, and don't worry it's the drugs ,they're slowing me down. I was enjoying it, so when they're out of my system you better look out".

"Are you sure?"

"Positive, you can't make me do what I don't want to do Sam, especially since I started it". Dean smiled at Sam and ran his hand lightly through Sam's hair; he kissed him quickly and stood up slowly. He walked slowly to the bathroom gave his hands a good wash then went to the kitchen to put the kettle on, and watched Sam as he got up and went to his bag for a fresh shirt.

_TBC_


	19. Chapter 19 Better

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

Chapter 19 Better

After the boys had eaten dinner together watching TV on Sam's bed, Deans phone rang and he flicked it open after glancing at the caller ID. "Hey Bobby, how's it goin?"

"Not bad Dean, how are you feeling? Enjoying being back in the wide world again?" Sam had called Bobby when Dean got out of hospital but hadn't called again because of the gift they had ordered, they wanted it to be a surprise and didn't want to accidently tip him off.

"Yeah, I' am actually fighting fit and ready to go. How have you been?"

"I've been good, although I got a delivery that shocked the shit out of me yesterday".

"Oh" said Dean innocently.

"Yeah, it seems two chuckleheads sent me a basket of food and a fishing trip. Wouldn't know anything about that would you?"

"Must have been delivered to the wrong address" Dean joked.

"Ha Ha. Its got your name on it you idjit. Anyway thanks Dean, you didn't have to do that although I will enjoy it, I've been wanting to make that trip for a long time. How did you know anyway?"

"Well my trusty sidekick is pretty darn smart Bobby, Anyway you deserve it, have fun and enjoy yourself, here's Sam he wants to say hi". Dean handed the phone to Sam, who was looking at Dean curiously. Trust Dean to pass any praise to someone else the, gift had been Dean's idea all the way, yet he wouldn't take any credit himself.

"Hi Bobby".

"Hi Sam , I was just trying to thank you boys for the gift, its very good of you although you know I'll always be there for you no matter what, and you don't have to thank me."

"Well it was Dean's idea" Sam laughed at Deans open mouth "He knew you wanted to fish the lake, I just wondered what all the fishing digests were doing among the Wiggan texts and mythology books".

"Yeah he is pretty shrewd, our Dean, and he hates to be told thanks doesn't he?'

"That's true Bobby, anyways, we just wanted to say thank you, you saved our skin again".

"Well if you remember you boys were helping me in the first place".

That night when Sam got into bed, Dean was brushing his teeth and Sam had almost drifted off when Dean came in and turned the light off. Sam was expecting Dean to say goodnight but instead got shoved across the bed by Dean's right hand, and Dean climbed in next to him. Sam turned to say, what the hell Dean, purely as an inbuilt reaction even though he wanted Dean with him, but Dean kissed the words out of his mouth and cuddled up to go to sleep. It looked like Dean had liked the idea of them sleeping together the couple of nights they had and wanted it to continue. Sam liked the idea as well but didn't expect Dean to come around so readily even as loving as he had been to Sam lately it still surprised him.

Sam had another great nights sleep and woke in the morning with no Dean beside him, he wasn't in the next bed and not in the bathroom when Sam went in. He went back to his bed and grabbed his phone off the bedside table to call Dean, as he was starting to panic Dean was still getting over injuries and drugs after all, when the door opened and Dean walked in with a bag under his arm. "There you are! Where have you been? You scared the crap out of me Dean".

"Ah, I left a note Sam". Dean pointed to the bedside table that Sam had just picked his phone up from. Sam had been too worried to see it. Dean dropped the bag on the kitchen table and strode over to Sam, he pulled Sam into his arms, "I'm sorry alright, I just wanted to get us breakfast before we took off this morning, that's all. Are you alright?" Dean could see Sam was still upset.

"Yeah I'm sorry, just panicked that's all" Sam hugged Dean tight and kissed Dean strongly but briefly. Dean pulled Sam over to the table and started to serve up the breakfast. Sam noticed Dean was dressed in jeans, T shirt and shirt and jacket, and he was shaved and showered. "You look better this morning. How do you feel?"

"Much better, head feels as clear as a bell this morning, thank god. I was so sick of being doped up. Why would people do that to themselves? It beats the hell out off me".

"How's you back?" asked Sam around a mouthful of pancake.

"A bit tender, that bit on my chest where you put the ice, feels a bit throbby but that's about it". Dean put his hand on his left side to show Sam where he meant.

"Well let me know if it gets sore on the road today, we should be able to stop a few times if you need to, it's only a six hour drive but it might be a bit much".

To Sam's surprise Dean didn't argue the point as he expected just nodded and cleared the plastic breakfast plates up. Once Sam was showered and dressed and the motel bill was settled they packed the car and hit the road. Dean was a little uncomfortable but stayed awake and talked to Sam to keep him company and awake while he drove. After lunch Dean got the photocopies of the newspaper articles of the victim's deaths that Sam had made, out and looked at them as they drove along.

"So the victims, didn't know each other, the causes of death are so varied its not funny, even where they died is only limited to the same area of the state. It crosses county lines pretty easily almost like its mobile rather than has a den or lair it hunts around" mused Dean.

"Yeah I couldn't work that out" said Sam in agreement.

"Maybe, it's a spell or whatever that stays with the victim after they have left the area where they were "infected" let's say."

"Yeah, you might be right but that doesn't narrow the assailant down much. And some of the victim's have been torn apart . That would make a strange spell".

"I know it could be a few things, but I am getting a feeling about this, the patterns seems familiar but from a while ago".

"You don't remember from when?"

"Not yet".

Sam stayed quiet giving his brother time to think about the case, he knew Dean would figure it out eventually. He always admired the way Dean's brain sorted through clues and found the answers to difficult problems. Something like that can't be taught and had pissed their dad off frequently that Dean had it naturally in spades, maybe he got it from their mother.

Two miles out of Redline where the boys planned to stay, as it seemed to be roughly in the middle of the hunt area, there was a squeal and a bang from under the hood of the Impala. Sam pulled over and Dean was out and going to the trunk before Sam had time to turn the engine off. Dean pulled out a belt Sam had never seen before and a flashlight and moved to the hood as Sam was putting up the hood stand. Dean put his arm into the engine bay and quickly pulled a busted fan belt out and handed it to Sam with out a word and went to work threading the belt around the pulleys, with Sam helping by holding the flashlight. When Dean had the belt secured he stepped back and lowered himself to the ground and slipped under the car after taking the flashlight from Sam. Dean took so long under the car Sam had to ask, "You ok under there Dean?" Dean crawled slowly out from under the car.

"Yep, but I'm gonna need a hand up".

Sam pulled Dean to his feet, "What's going on?"

"Well she threw a fan belt, a fairly new one at that, and the oil filter has a leak".

"So are we ok?"

"For now but, we will need to get it fixed. That's a temp belt not good for too far".

"So I'm gonna have to fix the car."

"No I can do it Sammy; it's only a couple of hours work".

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, tomorrow in the daylight should be no problem".

They got back in the car and drove to town where they checked into the motel and grabbed dinner from a nearby take out. Before he ate Dean grabbed an old ice cream container and pushed it under the Impalas oil filter.

After dinner Dean showered, kissed Sam goodnight and went to bed, while Sam continued to research the hunt they were on. It didn't take Dean long to fall asleep, he felt a bit hot , he had another headache and his back felt cramped after the drive. Sam packed up soon after and climbed into bed behind Dean and wrapped his arms around his brother, noticing how warm Dean was straight away. He put his hand up to Dean's forehead but it didn't seem too bad, so Sam cuddled up and went to sleep. He loved the feeling of having his arms around Dean, like he was protecting him for once.

When he woke in the morning Sam felt incredibly warm and comfortable and didn't want to get out of bed. Dean wasn't in bed again this morning and he looked at the clock to see it was 9:45 , wow another late morning , he should feel guilty but he felt so rested and at peace. He looked over to the table and noticed a bag sitting waiting for him with a note on top. He padded over and read Deans note which said, "Breakfast is served, out getting parts for the car back soon" D. Sam sat and ate breakfast then went for a shower. After he was dressed Sam made himself a coffee and while he was making it he noticed, Dean outside near the Impala, so he made Dean a cup as well and took it out. Dean had the hood up and tools on a cloth on the ground but hadn't started work yet, he took the cup from Sam and they drank the coffee together standing in front of the car. Sam noticed Dean was wearing just a grey T shirt and jeans with his boots. "Aren't you cold" Sam asked, who was wearing a jacket over his shirt.

"No actually, I'm running pretty warm today". Dean had a slight flush to his cheeks, Sam noticed and he put his hand up to check Dean's temperature. He was a little warm, but he threw Sam off by stepping up close and putting an arm around him, giving him a one armed hug.

"I'm ok Sam. I just walked up to the auto shop, I'll be a bit warm".

"Just be careful, today's meant to be cold and there's supposed to be a storm coming in tonight".

"I will, promise. What are you getting up to?"

"I thought I would talk to a few of the family's of the victims".

"I thought so. Do you mind if I stay and fix this?"

"No that's cool. I can handle a few interviews. You sure you don't need a hand?"

"As much as I'll miss you, I'll be ok" Dean smiled at Sam, then he reached into his jeans pocket and pulled out a car key on a plastic tag. He handed it to Sam "You will need this".

"What's this?" Sam questioned.

Dean moved over to a medium white sedan parked next to the Impala "Your wheels for the day, its all yours till 6 o'clock".

Sam was shocked a) because Dean had organized a car for him and b) he hadn't thought of it himself. The victims where in a wide area and he would never get many interviewed if he walked to them all.

"So I will see you back here at quarter to six?" Dean smiled at Sam.

"Thanks Dean, yeah I'll see you then." Sam went back inside to grab the papers he needed, he didn't know Dean had followed him in until he turned to walk back out and nearly smacked into him. Dean had a shy smile on his face and leaned over and kissed Sam on the lips pressing something into his hand. Sam looked down to see Dean's favorite silver-bladed switch blade in his hand.

"Just in case" said Dean softly. Sam stepped forward and gave Dean a full passionate kiss, his hands moving over his warm back.

"Thanks Dean, I will be careful" Sam knew what Dean had meant when he gave him the knife. It was Dean's version of "look after yourself while I'm not there to do it". It meant everything to Sam that Dean trusted him to do the job, and even though he would always be Sam's protector he trusted him as well and wanted to give him room. Something their dad never did was believe Sam was good enough to do the job on his own, Dean however knew differently.

_TBC_


	20. Chapter 20 Sweat

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

Chapter 20 Sweat

Dean found working on the Impala hard going with his limited movement in his left arm; he took his time and tried not to be frustrated. His back was also starting to throb lower down and he found himself sweating freely very early into the work. Aside from putting on the new fan belt and oil filter, and putting in new oil he checked the alignment on the harmonic balancer and made some adjustments and checked all the pulleys for wear and other problems. When he finished he put the tools away and grabbed a bottle of water and the half of his breakfast he didn't eat for breakfast and ate it for lunch. Sam would pitch a fit if he knew, but Dean felt nauseous when he ate this morning and didn't feel like eating much but he was as thirsty as he had been when he woke in the hospital and drank two bottles with his late lunch.

After lunch Dean decided to give the Impala a tune as it had sounded a bit rough on the way here last night. So he grabbed the tools and set to work, starting up the car and tuning her up. He took his time, but his back was not enjoying leaning under the hood so much and by the time he finished he had continuous pain above his waist that was spreading down into his groin. After putting the tools away again Dean limped inside to use the bathroom and had anther bottle of water and some Tylenol before grabbing a jacket and his wallet and going back to the Impala and getting in behind the wheel. Dean stared her up again, she sounded great after the tune. Deciding to push his luck he drove the two blocks to the self service car wash carefully, knowing full well this was the first time he had driven in almost two months.

He didn't have to wait long for a bay to become empty and gave the Impala a good clean and finished with a wax and used his own cloths to dry her off under the shade of a tree next to the vacuum cleaners. He took his time never realizing before how much back work there was in simply drying the car off properly. After he finshed he stretched and drank more water and packed up his car cloths.

He checked his watch in his pocket to see he still had 45 minutes until Sam was due back, so he spent half an hour vacuuming the inside of his baby out. It would normally have taken only half that time but his back hated the vacuuming and he had to keep stretching it out so he could keep going. That and the fact he had sweat pouring down his face even though he was back to being in a T shirt. The weather as predicted was over cast and cold with the wind picking up as he finished the job.

When he got back to the motel Sam was not yet there so Dean grabbed his oil filter wrench and a cloth and crawled under the Impala again as he had noticed some drops of oil on the ground after he had moved the car at the car wash and he wanted to check and see the filter was seated properly. As soon as he settled under the car he heard Sam return. He paused when he heard Sam get out of the car then walk around and stop next to his feet and Dean called out "Hey".

Sam stopped when he saw Dean sticking out from under the front of the car, He could see Dean from mid chest down and Dean's T shirt had pulled up to over his belly button and Sam's breath hitched and caught in his throat when he saw the sweat beading over the tight muscles of his abs. Sam heard himself say "Hey" but it felt like a million miles away.

"How did you go?"

"Ok, no problems" still a million miles away.

"I'm just about done here and we can run the car back".

"Ok" Sam stared as Dean's stomach stretched as he worked under the car. The top of his boxers were visible over the waistband of his jeans and Sam could see the fine hair there going down into Dean's boxers. The weight Dean had lost lately had made his jeans more low slung than they normally were and the movement under the car had pulled them down a little. The weather was cloudy and overcast but for a few seconds the sun had come out and shone on Deans stomach further highlighting the fine golden hairs, the prominent muscles and glistening sweat for Sam. The sight of Dean lying there his stomach exposed and the top of his boxers showing Sam enough to feel very horny all of a sudden. Sam kneeled down and ran his hand over Deans uncovered stomach, Dean's stomach jolted from the initial touch then his stomach continued stretching when he went back to work. Sam kept his hand moving on Dean's stomach as he worked, enjoying the feeling of Dean's skin and muscles. It was only about 90 seconds but felt a lot longer to Sam and Dean found it hard to concentrate finishing the job and wiping it over with the cloth. Dean crawled slowly out from under the car; Sam helped him up, going hard instantly as he took in Dean's tight sweaty T shirt and the oil and grime on his skin.

Sam pulled Dean into the motel room by his hand ,dropped his things on the floor and yanked Deans T shirt over his head, then kissed him deeply as he walked him over to the bed as he pulled his own jacket and shirt off then his belt and quickly undid his pants but didnt bother to pull them off or even take the time to free his erection. When he had Dean at the bed he lay him down and licked a path down to Dean's stomach muscles laving the hot sweaty skin with his tongue. "God, Dean" Sam moaned as he mounted Deans right leg and pushed his erection fervently against Dean's leg while he licked, bit lightly and sucked at Dean's stomach pushing Dean's stomach up into his mouth with his hands on Deans back pushing his back up off the bed. Sam felt his climax build with alarming speed and he pushed his hips down hard and pumped into Dean's leg fast, he wanted to scream but didn't want to take his lips off Dean's stomach, his skin was hot and sweat pooled tantalizingly in his navel and Sam drank it down. Dean raked his hand through Sam's hair and Sam climaxed, whimpering and panting into Dean's stomach.

While Sam took a quick shower and changed he thought about what had happened . He had gone again before Dean had had a chance do anything and was feeling like a teenager , how quickly he had gone and just at the sight of Dean being sweaty and work grimed. Dean was bringing all sorts of things out in Sam he didnt know he had in him. Sam knew he would worry this one to death in no time but didnt want there to be an awkwardness between them so he was determined to go against his nature and try not to think about it.

Dean put his T shirt and his jacket on washed the grime off his hands and face then drank more water while he waited for Sam. They took the rental car back, Dean driving slowly behind in the Impala , Sam checking the rearview mirror about fifty times to make sure Dean was doing ok. Then dropped off the used oil from the Impala at the auto shop and grabbed dinner at a local bar , where they talked about what Sam had found when interviewing family's of the victims' that day. "Well" said Sam , "John Worth, was returning from the library was found hanging from a bridge , his car in the river the cops are calling it a suicide but he had weird stab marks like nothing they had ever seen. They are also saying self inflicted, but no weapon was found." Sam referred to his notes "Marie Michelson , was found in her home all the doors and windows locked , she was three weeks pregnant she had strange claw marks no weapon was found, but get this the coroner is not releasing what kind of injuries she had. Mark Pethrick, out jogging one morning found two days later in a ditch with bite marks the coroner claimed were made by a dog. Jane Waites returning from a meeting with friends found in her car in the forest nowhere near where she was going not much of her left unfortunately." Sam looked at Dean who was picking at his food his eyes had a faraway look to them.

"What's the ratio man to woman with these deaths, Sam?" Dean said slowly.

Sam looked through his notes "These been six deaths and….four women, two men. That's strange".

"Hmm, our killer prefers women".

"But the deaths are so different, and the cycles wrong for werewolves and black dogs".

"Hmm, rules out the spells and hexes to, and I'd say by the evidence the killer has enough brain power the make it look like a few different things making it harder to pin down. And to get into buildings ,yet it dosen't feel random" Dean drank some water slowly; something was tickling the back of his brain.

Sam finished his food, and noticed Dean hadn't even got halfway through his burger. Even stranger was they were eating at a pub and Dean hadn't ordered a beer with his meal he had stuck with water, Sam had taken his cue from Dean and stayed with orange juice. The waitress came to clear the plates and Sam asked for two coffees as she took his plate , she turned to take Deans and noticed he'd hardly touched it , she went to walk off but Dean pushed his plate forward and said "Its ok I'm done , Thanks" .

"Are you sure? Would you like me to wrap it up for you?"

"No it's fine. I'm not hungry" Dean tried to assure her with a smile that everything was ok. She took the plate and went off to get the coffees.

"Dean are you ok?" Sam was starting to worry again.

"I'm fine Sammy just a bit nauseous, probably too much activity today". Dean got up to go and use the bathroom his brain was going through the clues of the case so rapidly he almost walked into the women's bathroom, he actually had to shake his head to clear it enough to use the mens room. There was something about this hunt that was achingly familiar,it felt like it was dancing across his brain .

While he was gone the coffees came, and Sam waited till Dean got back, then they drank them together. Sam talked about the case while Dean sat and listened he didn't have much to say but his brain was ticking away narrowing down the creature that they need to hunt. When the coffees were done Sam suggested they have a beer before heading back, the bar was quiet and Sam felt relaxed enough sit for a while.

"Actually I want head back and have a shower" Dean surprised himself with the words that came out of his mouth. He'd just said no to a beer! The first one in a long time. Sam looked surprised too.

"Are you sure you're ok?"

"Well you had a shower and I haven't, I stink from being under a car all day" said Dean somewhat defensively. And if he had to admit it a couple of those 8 hour Tylenol had his name written on them, his back was sore, and the damn headache was making a return .

"Ok, let's go" Sam wasn't reassured all and it showed on his face.

"Its ok Sammy, I'd prefer to spend the time with you anyway". He put one arm around Sam as they left the pub. Sam startled at first then took what he could get and put his arm around Dean and hugged back.

_TBC_


	21. Chapter 21 Journal

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

Chapter 21 Journal

The weather had taken a turn for the worse when they left the pub, the temperature had dropped the wind had picked up and it was beginning to rain heavily. Dean was quiet on the way back to the motel, Sam was getting concerned and tried to talk to him.

"Are you ok Dean?"

"Mmm, just thinking."

"Is it about the sex?"

Dean looked at Sam confused.

"I'm sorry, I am Dean, I don't know what happens, I just …"

"Whoa Whoa, it's not about sex. I told you Sammy I don't care how many times you go, honestly. I'm just thinking about the hunt that's all."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah, something's just out of my brains reach, you know it's frustrating."

They parked the car in the front of the motel room and walked in but they were barley in before Dean stopped dead and Sam walked into his back, Dean groaned and went down on one knee.

"Sorry Dean" Sam helped Dean up.

"Not your fault Sammy, totally me sorry. Hey, in any of the reports was there any hair found at the scene?" Sam looked baffled, and then his mouth dropped open.

"Yeah there was, the guy found in the ditch" Sam grabbed his notes up "And the woman in the forest."

"How many of the women were pregnant?" Sam's eyebrows went as high as they had ever been.

"I don't know Dean, I'll have to look it up."

Sam went to work on his laptop, while Dean grabbed clean clothes for a shower, and took some 8 hour Tylenol from the first aid kit. Dean went to the bathroom and used the toilet before laying his things out for a shower. He was stripped down to his boxers and was wrapping his cast when there was a small knock at the door. Dean opened it and Sam stood there with his notebook open. "Two of the women were confirmed as being pregnant the other two are unknown because there wasn't much left of them or it was never released."

"And, I'm guessing the women that were killed the stomach area was the main area that was attacked".

"How did you know that Dean?"

"Because I think it was a false beast that killed those people."

"A False beast? What the heck is that? I've never heard of it."

"I, luckily, have meet one once" Dean closed his eyes in thought "I think it goes something like –'False beasts are beings that can transform themselves to different shapes such as a woman, man, dog or whatever. They have a special craving for human fetuses' and attack pregnant women', something about the hair as well and I think they are nomads, dont have a den as such so it makes them hard to track, it's in the journal." Dean opened his eyes and moved to the shower and turned it on: Sam closed the door and went to his dad's journal. He was sure he had never seen this in his dad's journal and he had looked at it backwards and forward in the last few months.

A few minutes later he opened the bathroom door and said to Dean "I can't see it Dean". Sam looked up from the journal and saw Dean's bare back through the clear glass as he washed his hair one handed, Sam involuntarily stepped forward for a better look. Then realized what he was doing and a blush crept up his cheeks, but Dean had his head under the water washing shampoo off with his back to him and couldn't see Sam staring at him. Sam stared at Deans lean back as he washed, he was starting to get hard just standing there, "god what a teenager", he thought. When Dean reached for the soap it broke the spell and Sam cleared his throat and said again to Dean "I can't see it in here Dean". Dean turned his head and looked at Sam and then the journal Sam held, he motioned Sam over.

"Come here, I'm not gonna bite". Dean called when Sam stayed rooted to the spot. Sam took a couple more steps so he was close to the shower and a very naked Dean;Dean turned around fully and stepped closer. Sam wanted to look down very badly. He hadn't seen Dean's dick since they were little kids in the bath together, and Dean had seen his the day before yesterday. He kept his eyes up on the book avoiding looking at any part of Dean, it didn't help that the journal was close to Dean's smooth wet chest either. Sam could see the start of Dean stomach muscles behind the book, the muscles he had licked and sucked that very afternoon. He could even see a small bruise there, a bruise that _he_ had made. Sam had to concentrate on his breathing, but Dean didn't seem to notice or care. Dean looked at the open book for a minute and said "Oh shit" so softly, that it made Sam look up at Dean's face. Dean's wet hair and face would have been extremely tempting if it weren't for the hurt look on his face.

"What Dean?"

Dean suddenly looked flustered "Sorry Sammy wrong journal. It's in mine, I did that hunt without dad, when you were at school".

"Dad never hunted one of these?"

"Not that I know of, it's about 20 pages in if I remember". Dean was giving Sam silent permission to look in his journal, something he'd never done before.

Sam had known Dean had a journal of course he had seen Dean write in it and refer to it from time to time, but he had never even touched it before even when Dean was in hospital. Sam went to Dean's bag and burrowed down to the false bottom and pulled the journal out. It was a lot like their dads journal, the leather cover being a much darker colour and the fact it had a rubber band around it, being the obvious exterior differences. Sam opened the book with something close to awe and realized he was holding his breath and let it out. The inside cover was plain no medals or photos like his dads just a plain cover with a slit type pocket at the top. The inside cover did bulge a bit but Sam passed to the first page in the journal which was a plastic cover with a white sheet inside, plain white. Sam flicked it over to see a photo of himself as a six year old being held by Dean at ten years old. Dean had a big smile and Sam sat in Dean's lap smiling up at Dean. Tears sprang to Sam's eyes as he looked at the photo. It was obviously very special to Dean so front and center and so big, much larger then a standard photo, it almost filled the plastic pocket of the journal .Sam could vaguely remember the photo being taken but not by who. Sam had very few pictures of himself as a child and none at all of Dean.

Sam went to open the book a few pages in to look for the entry about false beasts when his fingers brushed back over the inside front cover. He looked back where his fingers were and noticed a piece of clear plastic sticking out from under the slit in the cover , Sam pulled the plastic out and found himself looking at a small book of plastic covered photos. The first photo in the book was clearly him at around five months old being held by Dean; he flipped it over to see himself at around two years old. In the next one, at around four holding a soccer ball, then one at six or seven sitting on the Impala, then another at ten in a soccer uniform running with the ball. In the next one he was with Dean, the Impalas front window behind them, clearly Dean holding up the camera at arms length to take the photo, Sam remembered that one being taken. Sam's first day of high school, Sam didn't want to have the photo taken and Dean had tried to bribe him but the only way Sam would permit the photo being taken was if Dean was in the photo too. Then Sam was in school uniform at about 15 (the only school they had been to with a uniform) and then with a girl, high school prom that was it.

Then his high school graduation photo and ,yet another photo of him this time sitting behind the wheel of the Impala, the first time he drove legally, Sam remembered Dean taking the photo but had never seen the photo itself before. The next photo brought another tear to Sam's eye, Dean and Sam sitting on the hood of the Impala smiles on their faces, Dean had his arm around Sam and Stanford was in the background. Dean had sent him a copy of this photo and he still had it. He remembered Dean hassling a girl who was passing to take the photo, she thought he was trying to make a pass at her but he just wanted her to take a photo. The second last photo was not taken by Dean either, it was his second year Stanford ID photo, and how Dean had it he would never know. The last photo was taken about a year ago when Dean had been playing with his new toy, a cell phone with a camera. Sam had thought the photo was a joke at the time but it actually came out pretty well, he was dressed in his 'FBI' suit. It surprised Sam that Dean had cared enough to have the photo printed at a photo shop so it would last.

Sam was surprised by the book of photos, he always knew Dean cared about him and he was finding new things to love about his brother all the time but he was finding things that Dean had been doing since he was younger, proving to Sam that Dean was more than a brother to him. Dean _suddenly_ having a loving attitude toward his brother was not true, it had been there all along just carefully hidden. Sam hadn't known about the money or the fights he had with dad and now these photos. How much more was there that Dean had hidden away? Sam thought as his hand flicked through the photos again drinking them in feeling warm inside, feeling loved.

Sam walked back into the bathroom with Dean's journal; he had decided to say nothing about the photos, yet. Dean was dressed in boxers and T shirt and was packing his toothbrush and things away and hanging his towel up.

"Well you were right, but twenty five pages in. And it says, it kills victims and sometimes eats part of them after smothering them with its shaggy hair and tearing them with its fangs, tucks or horns. They are difficult to track because of thier rarity and the hunting grounds being wide and varied. The only known way to kill the beast is by waiting or forcing it to turn into a dog and cutting the tail off with a silver knife, yuk, I take it you did this?"

"Yeah, and it was Yuk".

"So you up for it again?"

"Guess I'll have to be".

"Why did dad let you do this hunt alone? They look pretty dangerous".

"There was no information about them at the time just some mysterious deaths. I wanted to check it out and had a feeling it was the False beast legend. Dad thought I was nuts , so he left me to it".

"Why does it have to be a dog anyway?"

"Something about it being close to its natural form, I think".

"What's its natural form look like?"

"Don't know. Something dog like I guess".

Dean put his things away and looked over to Sam who had followed behind; he still had Dean's journal open, he noticed. "It's going to be a bitch to track though; they tend to cover up pretty well, you kinda have to catch them in the act".

"Damn".

"I know".

Sam went back to the laptop, to look up more information on the false beast, but there was less than what Dean had. By the time he got into bed with Dean he was almost asleep and had the bed well and truly warmed up, prompting Sam to check Dean's temperature again this time with the thermometer, 103 degrees Fahrenheit flat, damn.

Sam shook Dean fully awake "When did you last have Tylenol Dean?"

"Before my shower".

"Oh, ok, do you feel hot?"

"No cold, why?"

"I think you're got a fever".

"That would explain the sweating and the shivering".

Sam could feel Dean shivering slightly.

"Have you had plenty to drink today?"

"Yeah lots, I was pretty thirsty".

"Ok. Well try to get some sleep it might help".

Sam kissed Dean goodnight, he wanted to do a lot more with Dean after seeing him naked, at least from the back in the shower but didn't want to make Dean sicker, so he wrapped him in his arms and went to sleep his hands laced in Dean's and his nose on the back of Dean's neck.

_TBC_

_

* * *

Thanks to all who have taken the time to review - we finally made to to the journal!  
_


	22. Chapter 22 Fever

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

Chapter 22 Fever

Sam woke up at four in the morning feeling like he was on fire, Dean wasn't in bed but it was clear he had just got up. Sam padded over to the bathroom door where he could see light coming from underneath, he pushed open the door to see Dean on his knees in front of the toilet.

"Dean, are you ok?" Dean couldn't answer because he was violently vomiting into the toilet. Sam grabbed a wash cloth and ran cold water on it and placed it on Dean's neck. Sam put his hand on Deans back and rubbed what he hoped were soothing circles , feeling pretty helpless as Dean continued to bring up his dinner. When Dean had finished dry heaving Sam helped Dean up and was alarmed by his red face. Dean washed his mouth out under the tap and Sam went off to get Tylenol and cool water for Dean. Dean lay down on the bed after taking the tablets and drinking a little water. Sam took his temperature, 104. Great, Dean definitely had a fever. To Dean's credit he wasn't shaking, much, and said he now felt a lot better. Sam wanted to sleep in the other bed so Dean didn't get too warm but Dean wouldn't have it and instead rolled onto his right side and gathered a hand full of Sam's T shirt in his fist and fell promptly to sleep.

When Sam woke later in the morning the covers had been thrown off the bed and Dean was facing away from Sam but strangely he was lying on his left side which he hadn't done since he got out of hospital. His cast was pulled to his chest and his right arm was behind him still gripping Sam's T shirt. There was a clear line of sweat down the back of his T Shirt and sweat on the back of his neck and Sam could see Dean trembling slightly. Sam removed Dean's hand from his shirt and got out of bed and padded around to the other side of the bed, Dean's face was covered in sweat and his face was pulled into a grimace. It didn't look like a peaceful sleep at all. Sam rolled Dean over to his right side; he murmured a bit but didn't wake. Deans left side was covered in sweat, and when Sam pulled the damp T shirt up he felt heat coming off Dean in waves.

Sam covered Dean in just a sheet and went and got dressed. Then he grabbed another clear plastic bag and went for ice. When he got back to the room he covered the ice and put it on Dean's side, Dean grumbled a bit in his sleep but otherwise didn't move. Sam grabbed two wash cloths and put one on the back of Dean's neck and one on his forehead.

Sam took his phone outside and gave Bobby a call. Bobby knew a doctor in the next state that would treat Dean without going to a hospital; Sam didn't feel like a repeat of his last experience at hospital. Bobby said he would call his Doctor friend and get him to call Sam to set up when he could see Dean. Sam asked Bobby about the false beast but Bobby had heard only vague stuff and confirmed Dean was probably the authority on them when Sam told Bobby Dean had seen and killed one. Bobby sounded surprised Dean had killed one, it was the first time he had heard one had been killed.

Sam spent the morning tracking down where the false beast's last victim was taken and trying to track a pattern. He got a call from the doctor at 11:30 saying he could be there tomorrow morning and to keep Dean as cool as possible and keep his fluids up after Sam explained Dean symptoms. Sam went out and bought sandwiches back for lunch and found a disheveled Dean sitting up in bed looking like he had no clue where he was. "Hey, how you feeling?"

"Wonderful" Dean grumbled, "What time is it?"

"Lunch time".

"Why did you let me sleep so late? And why is there ice in the bed?" Sam had been placing ice in the bed every now and then to cool Dean down.

"Well you spent a lot of last night throwing up so I was great brother and let you get some rest. How's your left shoulder?"

"Sore. What did you do to me?"

"You slept on it."

"Huh".

"Lunch?"

"Hell yes, I'm starving".

"I'm not surprised".

Dean got out of bed and walked over to the table and sat down with Sam for lunch. After a few bites Dean's stomach rolled lazily and he stopped eating.

"So much for starving" he said grumpily as he put down the half eaten sandwich.

"Stomach not liking it?"

"Nope, it's not happy".

"Let's check your temperature". Sam grabbed out the thermometer,101.2 "Well at least it's come down a little".

"Good".

"Dean don't get mad, but I called Bobby and he set us up with a doctor who can come here to see you tomorrow morning, off the record and no hospitals". Sam waited for the verbal abuse from Dean, but it didn't come.

"Ok, as long as I don't have to go to hospital it's a good idea".

"Huh?"

"It's a good idea Sam".

"Wow you must feel like crap".

"Not now but last night I thought I was going to see the bottom of my stomach come out of my mouth. I swear that was worse than the blood the other night, plus I'm really sick of being sick. Huh". Dean barked a light laugh at his own joke.

"Well you need to take it easy till he sees you".

"I will, I want to get better as soon as I can". Sam was surprised and looked it.

"Why Dean? What's so important?"

Dean stood up and went and sat on Sam's knee then leaned down and kissed Sam passionately raking a hand through Sam's hair as he kissed him and when he came up for air looked into Sam's wide eyes and said "Sex, Sam" and went off to have a shower.

Dean's lower back to his groin troubled him for the rest of the day and his temperature remained roughly the same, spiking now and again but he took more painkillers to keep the fever at bay. He could only eat very small amounts of food and drank a lot less that he had been, but was going to the toilet way more. Sam was worried but tried not to show it and they spent the afternoon looking at maps and cross referencing with the attacks to see if they could work out where the creature would next strike .Sam kept catching himself looking up into Deans sweaty face , he hated to see Dean sick, but Dean didn't seem too bothered. Sam knew it was all the years of covering up injury and sickness from his father so he could still do the job that made Dean like he was.

Sam could remember one night when he was 16 and studying for an important test and their dad wanted to take Sam on a hunt instead of Dean ,even though it was the night before the test because Dean was clearly sick with flu, but Dean had rugged up and left with no complaint. Sam remembered Dean driving him to school the next morning drugged up to the eyeballs on cold medication and after picking him up from school falling asleep on the floor in front of the TV and Sam having to have dinner alone that night because Dean was still out of it, it had taken Dean quite some time to kick that cold and he had felt responsible because Dean went out when he should have stayed in.

After dinner Dean felt he had the area sorted out where it would strike next and according to the timing of the attacks so far when, tonight. Sam didn't want to go out with Dean still sick but like Dean said they really didn't have a choice. Unfortunately it was one of the coldest nights on record for this time of year and a storm had come in the night before had built up and had been lashing the motel room all day. The weather channel had been issuing all kinds of warnings so they had to fight rain, fog, wind and hail before they even got to the lonely stretch of forest 15 miles from the motel. Sam made sure Dean had his warm jacket on and a gun and two silver knives at least ten times as they watched the area from the car.

A little after 11pm, Dean saw a man in just a T shirt and shorts bolting through the brush looking over his shoulder at another man giving chase. The man who was giving chase was naked but looked threatening all the same. "Looks like we're on Sammy". The boys left the car and ran in the direction the men had been heading in. Dean quickly tracked them by the foot prints and soon they were both soon soaked to the skin as hail set in. After running for 15 minutes they found the man lying on the ground with the naked man standing over him. Dean stopped Sam with his hand before saying into Sam's ear "Don't let him see the knife too early or he won't change back, and we can't get him until he's a dog ok?" Sam nodded to show he understood and moved forward towards the men. The naked man had funny looking talons coming out of the palms of his hands and was slashing at the man on the ground, he was also very shaggy looking, and Sam could see he looked like he could turn into a dog with ease, there was that much hair.

Sam followed Dean's lead and pulled out his gun hoping to threaten the creature to turn back to a dog. When the boys came closer the false beast stopped his attack and growled at them starting to slash at them instead. Dean moved in front of the man on the ground raising his 9mm threatening the beast and it backed away from the man. It was obviously unhappy at being disturbed from its hunt but wasn't sure whether to fight the boys for its victim or take flight. As it backed away unsure, Dean leaned down with his gun still raised and checked the man for injuries, he was wearing shorts and a thin T Shirt and he was shaking like mad, Dean thought he might have slight hypothermia, or he was scared to death. He had some scratches on his arms but they looked superficial to Dean. Sam waved his gun at the creature knowing it wouldn't stop the beast but it might make him think twice before attacking this victim or launching a new attack on them. Dean stepped forward and stood shoulder to shoulder with his brother, he was hoping to scare the creature into changing back into a dog.

The beast slashed at the boys with the claws on its hands, almost getting Sam. Dean avoided it easily and tried moving to the side to threaten it with his gun, but the beast struck out at Sam again, this time scratching his left arm with its claw. Sam cried out in pain and Dean shot at the beast before it took off through the undergrowth. Dean moved quickly to Sam's side and pulled up his sleeve to check the wound and saw it was bleeding freely. Dean quickly sat Sam down with the false beasts intended victim and quickly peeled his jacket off and threw it over the man then pulled his long sleeved shirt off and quickly wrapped it around Sam's arm as a bandage. He said to Sam "You ok Sammy?" Sam nodded starting to get control over the pain, the cut was not large but was very painful. "Get this guy out off here" Dean yelled and ran headlong after the beast.

Sam watched his brothers T shirt clad back disappear into the undergrowth with dismay. "Dean" he yelled hoping his brother would come back but knowing he probably wouldn't being so close to the creature and not wanting to risk it turning back on Sam and the other man. He couldn't fault him really, he would have done the same thing but Dean was pretty sick and chasing the beast through the forest was not going to do him any favors as far as his health was concerned. Sam helped the man up off the ground and got him walking back in the general direction of the Impala , he kept the guy talking and found out his name was Gary and he lived close by and had been changing for bed when the false beast had lured him out of his house. Sam walked Gary back to his house and quickly ran back to find his brother.

Dean was tearing along the forest floor hot on the heels of the false beast, he could smell it he was that close. Even if he had not been soaked through before he would have been now, running in the pouring rain in the darkness in just a T shirt, even as he ran he could feel his temperature dropping .The beast knew Dean was on his tail and led Dean on a merry chase up and down hills and along cliff faces, even doubling back on it self moving closer to the area where they had parked the Impala. Dean was struggling for breath and tripping on deadwood trying to stay upright was difficult and keep running flat out let along try to fathom where the beast was going. Dean was getting seriously puffed out, soon he had to stop and vomit violently on the ground, great just what he needed. He launched himself back into a stumbling run, spiting as he went trying to get rid of the crap in his mouth. He came down an embankment as fast as his legs could carry him, his lower back and groin screaming in pain, he had a stitch and was panting now struggling for breath. When he reached the bottom of the embankment he felt a curious sensation like weightlessness. Then a freezing coldness hit his chest like an axe. The ground had given way to water; he was now swimming for his life.

_TBC_

* * *

_A nice cliff hanger for you all !_


	23. Chapter 23 Car

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

Chapter 23 Car

Dean kept his cast above the water, not that it was helping much, it was getting wet from the rain as he swam in a demented looking dog paddle, looking around for the beast knowing it had probably lured him here. He had known there was a lake in the area but he couldn't for the life of him remember how big it was. He saw it swimming off to his right and he followed as best he could swimming with one arm. His stomach had now started to burn with pain joining his back and groin; he felt strangely hot and cold at the same time and could literally feel his body temperature dropping as he struggled through the water.

He swam for a good half an hour getting slowly closer but the beast was still a man, he still needed it to turn into a dog and soon, he was seriously hurting and his shoulder was killing him as he held his cast above the water. The water itself felt like it was stabbing him with a thousand icy fingers. It suddenly started to hail and Dean knew it was now or never, he had some kind of cover in which to sneak up on it. He was having trouble feeling his fingers as he fumbled the switchblade out of his pants pocket and wedged it in between where his cast meet his arm. He made himself swim as fast as he possibly could in the direction he had seen the beast heading in and, yes he could now see a mop of hair ahead. Dean felt suddenly very tired but he pushed it away, gritted his teeth and quickly closed the distance. The hail must have been affecting the beast's vision as it was slowing down seeming unsure, but it still hadn't changed. Dean quickly grabbed the man from behind and dunked him down by the back of the neck with all his might. He struggled hard but Dean was determined, he let him up just enough to let him breach the water the beast apparently didn't fight well in water he was using all his energy to try to stay above the water and wasn't attacking Dean as he thought it might. Dean pushed him down again, he did it again and again hoping to make the beast change by getting him angry, keeping his body away from the struggling beast as much as he could least it scratch him. Then it finally came up as a snarling dog, Dean quickly grabbed it by the back as it came up, pulling out the silver knife from his cast he flicked the blade out and using his left hand as best he could to hold the tail as the dog tried to swim off he cut the dog's tail off in one slash with his freshly sharpened weapon. Dean was glad he had not had anything much to eat today because it made him sick to his stomach, but then the beast dissolved into nothingness with a flash of light.

Once the beast was gone Dean wanted nothing better than to sink to the ground and have a rest but he was still in the water and had to get out. With what felt like supreme effort, Dean secured his knife and turned and paddled back in the direction he came from, the hail eased to rain and he thought he saw the shore. After a while Dean started to feel warm but he was still shivering, he tried to touch his thumb with his little finger and found it hard to do, he was heading for second stage hypothermia. He knew he would have to get out of the water quickly so he pushed through the pain and swam harder. As he neared the shore he thought he saw Sam calling to him from the bank , it was hard to see with it being night and raining so he knew he must be imagining things, still he struck out for the figure just in case. After what felt like years there was mud under his feet and he walked heavily out of the water, just as it stopped raining for the first time that night. When the water was up to his knees, he felt strong hands grip his biceps and he sagged into Sam's arms."Dean thank god", Sam almost sobbed but he wouldn't let him rest he pulled Dean into a walk, putting Deans jacket around him as they walked. "Come on Dean, you have to keep walking you must be freezing". All Dean could do was nod so Sam started peppering Dean with questions trying to keep his mind off the pain and get his body temperature to rise slowly. "You did kill that thing right?"

"Yepppp offff wittth ittsss tailll" Dean stuttered, fatigue and cold hitting hard now that he was out of the water and his teeth were chattering uncontrollably.

"How did you get it to turn?"

"Weee wennnt forrr swimmm".

"Yeah I saw that".

"Wass hiss ideaaa".

"Well Gary's safe and sound thanks to you". Dean just looked at Sam confused. "They guy the false beast was chasing, his name was Gary. He said thanks for saving his life by the way".

"Whhhatt wwwass hee doinng inn justtst a Tttt ssshirt annn shhorrtss?"

"The false beast lured him out of his house by opening his garage door and letting the wind blow it into the wall. He was getting ready for bed at the time and that's what he had on when he went out to check".

"Hhhaaa" Dean shivered." Howwwss's yooourrr arrmm?"

"Fine, stopped bleeding straight away." Dean was stumbling a lot and Sam pushed him ahead of him trying to get him to the Impala as soon as possible.

It didn't take long to get to the car as the lake was closer to the Impala than the area where they had confronted the beast. Once they were at the car Sam bundled Dean into the back of the Impala and went to the trunk to grab two blankets out. Sam got into the back seat with Dean and stripped Deans T shirt and boots off and laid a blanket on the back seat then he lay Dean down on the blanket. Sam leaned over and started the car, turning the heater on as high as it would go. He stripped off his own coat, shirt and T shirt off and put the other blanket over his back and lay over Dean skin to skin.

"I'm going to raise your body heat with mine but I'm making sure your core body is warmed first so the cold blood isn't forced to your heart". Sam knew that Dean knew the treatment for hypothermia but didn't want to freak him out in his slightly confused state. Sam knew not to rub Dean's body while he was in this state but it was very hard especially when Dean's arms were wrapped around him and he realized he was skin to skin for the first time with Dean.

They stayed together in the same position for over an hour, Dean's temperature slowly rising and the shaking becoming less and less, until it felt quite warm in the car even his jeans were almost dried out so Sam leaned over and turned the car off. Sam was finding it very hard to keep still with Dean under him particularly now that Dean's warm hands were staring to roam over Sam's back and he was snuggling Sam's neck with his face. "How do you feel?" Sam croaked. "Much better thanks Sammy", Dean's voice was clearer than Sam's now.

Sam was starting to feel warm in some very nice places now, due to his close contact but he better not take advantage of Dean while he was like this it wasn't fair. Dean was stroking his back in a way that was no longer, I need to warm up and was more I need you. Sam pulled his face back from Dean's neck and Dean moved his lips to Sam's and plunged in for a deep kiss. Sam felt himself harden in his pants "Calm down Sam, you schoolboy" he thought to himself. Dean was rubbing Sam's bottom through his pants and Sam was starting to lose his resolve and he put a hand under Dean's neck and rubbed his fingers over Dean's jaw. Alright, but Dean would need to drive this one, no driving from me Sam decided. Sam broke the kiss and looked down into Dean's face, he could see love and want there, he wasn't doing this just for Sam. Sam looked at Dean's well muscled chest and he brought his other hand around and stroked Dean's chest. He loved the feel of Dean's curves and dips, his strong muscles accentuated by his arm moving up Sam's back."Dean your beautiful, you know that?" breathed Sam. Dean 's hand went up Sam's back over his shoulder until he was running his hand through Sam's hair.

"I love you to Sammy"Dean kissed Sam deeply and Sam responded and they kissed slowly and deeply stirring the fire until they were now warm enough to throw the blanket off Sam's was feeling a stirring and a heat in his jeans as he explored Sam's mouth and moved his hand back down Sam's shoulders and back until he meet the waist of Sam's jeans , but he pushed his hand down under two layers of fabric feeling the smoothness of Sam's firm bottom under his hand . Sam moaned and lowered his crotch to Dean's and could fell their erections rub against each other through the drying fabric. "Dean" Sam moaned again all his resolve gone only feeling passion and love for his brother now.

They rubbed together moaning in each other mouths , then Dean moved his hand up out of Sam's pants to Sam's chest and stroked across his strong pecs and down to tight abdominals, Sam groaned in the back of his throat and Dean went rock hard and painful in his jeans. Dean panted into Sam's mouth and pushed his hand down and slipped it between them undoing Sam's belt and jeans and pulling his boxers down then undoing his own, freeing their erections. Dean put his hand down the back of Sam's jeans, pushing the jeans and boxers down and away from his erection. Sam pushed his hand around and under Dean, down to his jeans and pushed them down rubbing Dean's soft, well muscled bottom moaning into Dean's mouth. Sam pushed his hips down into Dean's and Dean pushed his hips up to grind their erections together. Dean lay his hand on Sam bottom and stroked hard pushing Sam's erection harder into his. As they rubbed together both boys cried out for each other and they pumped wildly at each other as their need to come and come together increased. Dean wrapped his legs around Sam bringing them even closer together. Sam felt like there were sparks coming off his shaft as his pumped into Dean's hardness, he had one hand under Deans bottom pushing it up forcing them closer together and one hand stroking Deans face lovingly, pushing Deans mouth open for his tongue. Dean maneuvered himself under Sam using his hips and his hand under Sam's bottom, so that they were perfectly aligned, the heads sliding along each other providing slickness and lubrication forcing the feeling of their impending climaxes ever higher and smashing into their stomachs screaming for release. Too soon they were shaking with impending release and arching into each other Sam biting down on Dean's neck and Dean yelling "Sam" as they came together.

After their breathing had reduced to light pants, Dean pulled Sam's jeans and boxers up front and back and pulled his own up, and grabbed the blanket off the floor and tossed it over Sam's back. Sam laid his head on Dean's chest and listened to his heartbeat return to normal. One of the best sounds he'd ever heard. After a while Sam brought his head up and looked down into Deans face , he had his eyes shut but opened them as if he knew Sam was looking at him and smiled up at Sam. "You look like the cat that got the cream" said Dean softly. Sam smiled widely and leaned down and kissed Dean softly before pulling his head back.

"Thanks Dean, I didn't hurt you did I?" Dean didn't answer, just put his hand behind Sam's neck and pulled him down to his lips and kissed him passionately, his hand running through Sam's hair like he couldn't get enough. They kissed for so long Sam started to think they might be starting round two but he noticed Dean's movements were slowing down and his temperature was going back up. He extracted himself from Dean and headed for the front seat leaving Dean in the back for the trip back to the motel but Sam had barely started the car when Dean climbed over the seat with the blanket around him and leaned against Sam for the majority of the trip back.

By the time they got back to the motel Dean was asleep against Sam's side and Sam had to wake him to get out of the car. When they got inside, Dean insisted on looking at the cut on Sam's arm made by the slashing claw of the false beast. He got the first aid kit out and sat at the kitchen table pulling a chair up for Sam. After inspecting and washing the wound, with holy water and antiseptic just to be sure, Dean noted that even though it was not as big as he originally thought , it was still slowly leaking blood and needed a few stitches. Dean pulled a needle and sutures out and Sam tried to take them off Dean saying he was too shaky and Sam would do it himself. Dean looked offended "Sammy, I can sew sutures with my eyes closed and I have sewn up worse cuts with worse shakes".

"Maybe but not on me".

"Oh yes on you, you just didn't t know it." Sam had his mouth open with surprise and Dean took the opportunity and started to sew Sam up with speed and precision that would have made a surgeon proud, and best thing about it as far as Sam was concerned he barely felt them going in. Sam had to check the first aid kit to see if Dean had snuck in some lidocaine without him knowing. Dean had sewn 10 perfect stitches in Sam's arm before he knew it. Sam didn't know if he could have done better in fact he knew he couldn't have but he wasn't going to tell Dean that. Hang on, Dean had been great with him lately he should do this. As Dean stuck a gauze pad over the neat row Sam leaned forward and kissed Dean on the forehead , ran a hand through his hair and said "Thanks Dean, you did a great job". Dean looked up at Sam, not used to being thanked for something small like a few stitches, and to see if Sam was yanking his chain about them being good, his hands _were_ kind of shaky after all.

_TBC_


	24. Chapter 24 Delirious

Disclaimer see chapter 1

Chapter 24 Delirious 

Dean took the first shower while Sam hung their wet things up to dry. Dean was exhausted from the night's events and finding it hard to stand in the shower under the warm water. His back, head and groin were back to being sore and his temperature was again on the rise. He even dry retched in the shower and the shivers returned in full force, he came out of the shower looking worse than when he went in. By the time he was back in bed with Tylenol in him, the thermometer read 103 again. He couldn't face food but made sure Sam got food for himself before falling to sleep. Sam was worried about Dean not eating but acknowledged he would be exhausted after the night he had and let him sleep.

After two hours sleep Dean woke up and pulled his T shirt off, he was sweating too much and it was keeping him awake even though he had the shivers and felt cold. After another three hours of broken sleep Dean was back to dry retching in the bathroom, and when Sam took his temperature it was 104. Sam gave Dean more medication and cold flannels, before he fell back into bed. When Sam woke in the morning he felt like he was in an oven Dean was putting out a lot of heat and was sweating profusely even though he was asleep. Sam took Deans temperature again it was 104.4 ,so Sam woke Dean up and sat him on the floor of the shower stumbled back to bed just as there was a knock at the door and the doctor was there.

Dr Mitchell or Callum as he wanted to be called was a middle aged man of small thin build and a mop of wavy black hair. He chatted to Sam as he came in with a big medical bag under his arm looking more like he was going to the front line in a war rather than making a house call. Callum explained he had be treating hunters for about two years after a hunter saved him from a poltergeist when he was making a house call. Callum got his medical supplies from hunters who knew people and owed favors so he didn't charge hunters anything to fix them up, he just wanted them back out there doing what they did best. Bobby had explained to Callum that Sam and Dean were two of the best so Callum was happy to help and glad to meet them.

Callum looked Dean over took his temperature, blood pressure and listened to his chest and stomach. Sam explained what had happened including Dean falling through the roof, which caused Callum to raise his eyebrows and his opinion on how tough these hunters were, and the latest trip to the ER where the doctor filled Dean up on drugs and did nothing else. Callum scowled at that and took down the name of the hospital and the doctor involved. Sam also gave a quick account of Deans swim the night before. Callum examined Dean's chest, back ,groin and the still damp cast on his arm. When he finished he went to his bag and pulled out some strong pain tablets with codeine and gave Dean two with some water. Then he gave Dean a small tablet that he explained that was an anti nausea medication and should stop him throwing up then he took a blood sample from Dean then asked him to pee in a small cup , which Dean managed only a small amount. Callum explained to the boys he felt Dean had a kidney infection that should have been treated at the ER, and Dean's latest escapade the night before had probably aggravated it but the main thing was to get antibiotics into him.

"It would be better to get you on intravenous antibiotics as soon as possible, but I will start you off on saline solution to get your hydration level back up, you are severely dehydrated and we should get that started. I will come back this afternoon with the antibiotics as I don't have them with me but I'm meeting a friend in couple of hours who will have them and he will rush the test results through for me." Callum went back to his bag and returned with several rolls of plaster, cotton wool and some scissors. "Let's fix this up too,I think you need a couple more weeks with the cast yet" said Callum as he cut Deans still damp plaster off his arm, and Sam helped the doctor to put the new plaster on.

"Hey Sam, you still got those markers?" queried Dean from the bed. He was sitting with his back against the headboard watching TV, his right arm was laying on a pillow with a needle in the back of his hand and a tube going up to a bag of saline solution hanging next to the bed on a coat stand.

"Yeah, why?" Sam called from the bathroom.

"The cast looks too white again. I liked your pictures before".

"Well you shouldn't have gone for a swim then" Sam joked as he walked over to his bag to get the markers; the nurse at the hospital had let them keep them. Sam sat next to Dean and started to draw on his plaster, after a few minutes he saw drops of sweat slide down Deans bicep down to his elbow above the cast. He looked up to Dean's face and saw his eyes were shut his head lying back against the headboard his face covered in sweat. Sam grabbed the thermometer out and took Dean's temperature 105 a new high, and he was looking pale now and very drawn. Sam applied some of the instant ice packs Callum had left and lay Dean down so he was more comfortable.

He stayed with Dean for a while drawing on his cast then deciding to go the supermarket down the block and get some soup for Dean when he felt up to it . While he was there he got lemonade and water for Dean, Orange juice and some TV Dinners for himself. He decided at the last minute to grab a loaf of bread and a tub of butter as the room had a toaster. He grabbed a few snacks on his way to the checkout as Callum had said it would take Dean a few days to get better and he didn't want to leave him too often. On his way back to the room he paid for a few more days feeling lucky they had paid cash for the room it meant they could stay here safely while Dean got better. Dean hadn't moved when Sam checked on him then put the things away he had bought stuffing the poor little bar fridge full.

After lunch Dean woke up confused and disorientated. He looked surprised when Sam approached and asked him where he had been. "I've been here with you Dean". Dean didn't look convinced.

"Where's dad?"

"Dads d….dad died Dean".

"What? When?" Dean looked around in confusion.

"More than six months ago Dean". Dean looked shattered, and then turned his tear filled eyes on Sam.

"Why aren't you at school?"

"I'm finished school now Dean, I hunt with you." Dean looked at Sam with his eyes wide.

"Did dad make you Sammy?"

"No I wanted to Dean; I want to be with you". Sam put his hands on Dean shoulders not sure where his head was at the moment. Dean looked at Sam his eyes brimming with tears Sam wanted to hug his brother but was scared to upset him.

"Sammy, help" said Dean in a tiny voice. Sam wrapped his arms around Dean and Dean melted into them crying into Sam's shoulder. Sam let Dean cry himself out then he lay back down and went to sleep. To say Sam was confused about what Dean had said was understatement, he simply had no idea what was going on in Dean's head. Sam didn't think Dean knew either, and watched his brother sleep restlessly,not liking seeing his brother this sick.

Dean slept for another two hours and Sam went over to check his IV and his temperature, 105.5 no wonder he was delirious. Sam woke Dean to get him to take the medication Callum had left he got it down with some water but Dean heaved painfully and it came back up, so Sam started again and this time it stayed down. Dean looked tired and still unsure of what was going on he tried to pull his IV out saying it hurt and then tried to pull his cast off saying he didn't need it he didn't have a broken arm.

"Dean, the doctor put that on today you have to leave it on".

"Dad said doctors don't know how to fix people Sam".

"Yeah well he's wrong this time buddy". For some reason this was funny to Dean and he laughed until he dry heaved again. When he calmed down again, he looked at Sam sagely and said "I will look after you Sammy".

"I know Dean. You always do". Dean pulled Sam to his chest holding his head like he was cradling a baby.

"Sammy's Dean's baby to look after now". Tears spilled onto Sam's face. Sam's heart broke, he thought Dean was remembering the night of the fire when Sam had been a baby and Dean only four.

Heat was coming off Dean in waves and even Sam was starting to sweat. After a while Dean's head lolled down and his grip on Sam loosened and Sam got up and laid Dean down under the sheet. Sam got more instant ice packs out and put them around Dean. Dean woke enough to make a fleeting attempt at pulling his cast off again before he fell back into a full sleep.

When Callum came in the afternoon he wasn't surprised to hear of Deans antics."He will keep you busy for a couple of days until the antibiotics start to work". Callum hooked up the antibiotic and checked Dean over again, he didn't like Dean's temperature and gave him an injection to help him sleep and bring the temperature down. Callum decided to bandage Dean's hand where the IVs went in to make sure he didn't pull them out he knew what delirious patients could get up to. He gave Sam some more cold packs and anti nausea tablets and promised to be back in the morning with Deans lab results.

Sam decided to sleep in the other bed tonight to give Dean room to sleep and even though Callum had given Dean an injection Dean's temperature was only down to 102.3. Sam watched his brother sleep as he took his temperature his breathing was heavy, his chest rising and falling slowly but it looked like Dean was using all of his lungs as he slept like he was running. Just for curiosities sake Sam checked Dean's pulse to find it banging away in his neck like he was exercising hard. Sam's fingers came away from Dean's neck slick with sweat, Sam moved all blankets off Dean's bed and covered him with just a sheet again. Dean was shivering enough that the IV tubes were shaking as were the bags of fluid.

Sam woke at six in the morning to a feeling that someone had dropped a hot iron on his chest; he pushed it off in reflex as he opened his eyes to find Dean lying on his bed curled up beside him and the coat stand falling towards him. After dodging the coat stand and thinking "thank god I left the bathroom light on just in case", he dimly saw the IV bags fall on his pillow. Sam scooped the bags up with one hand and Dean with the other, he dragged Dean to the bathroom, the heat coming off him told him that he had to get Dean cooled down fast. He lowered Dean to the floor of the shower and turned the water to tepid, after a minute or so he reduced the heat so that the water was between tepid and straight cold. Sam hung the bags from the shower caddy and as he crouched back down he saw blood coming off Dean and looked at where the blood was coming from. Dean's right wrist was bloody under the bandage; it looked like Dean had tried to pull his IV out in his sleep or when he woke up. While Dean shivered under the water , steam coming off his body, Sam unwrapped Deans hand and fixed the IV needles up, he had got one all the way out and the other almost out. Sam re wrapped the hand with bloody bandage for the time being, he made sure Deans head was up where he wouldn't drown and fetched the thermometer. "I should have this thing on a chain round my neck like and old lady with her spectacles", thought Sam as he headed back to the bathroom.

Dean blinked up at him slowly as Sam took his temperature again 105.9 ,Damn, Dean was trying to break records here. Sam sat with Dean and put the water all the way to cold after a few minutes; Dean started struggling, his chest going up and down like he was running. Sam grabbed the tablets that Callum had left and got two of the codeine tablets into Dean. Dean felt as bad as he looked, he had a bad fever once before in his life and this felt even worse , he was struggling to move his body or to even think straight. Sam sat next to Dean and held his hand, after a while Dean seemed to notice Sam and moved slowly toward him. Sam leaned forward and held Deans head but Dean struggled out of Sam's grasp and leaned up looking for Sam's face. Dean's mind was panicking that he may never see Sam again and he wouldn't have a chance to tell him how he really felt. Sam leaned his face down to Dean's and Dean leaned into Sam's ear and whispered croakily "I love you Sammy". Dean moved his lips to Sam's and pushed his way in with his tongue. Sam was worried about Dean overexerting himself in his current condition and tried to pull away but Dean pulled at Sam with what felt like the last of his strength. He kept kissing Sam for as long as he could, his brain was frantically showing him images of his past, and in all the images it threw at him there was one constant ,Sam. He wanted Sam to be the last thing he saw and touched so he held on as long as he could then his world swam and pitched into blackness.

_TBC_


	25. Chapter 25 Read

Chapter 25 Read

Sam kept Dean in the shower for another ten minutes after he had passed out and then dried him off slowly. He had just finished dying him off when there was a knock at the door Sam opened it and Callum came in. Sam took him to Dean and told him what had happened. Callum examined Dean then stood and helped Sam carry him back to bed, they left Deans almost dry boxers on him knowing they would dry quickly but placed a dry towel there just in case. They found a dry sheet and covered Dean up and Callum gave Dean another injection adjusting the dosage because Sam had given him tablets not long before and that his temperature was now back to 104. Callum put more instant ice next to Dean with instructions for Sam to take it off in twenty minutes. Callum confirmed that Dean did indeed have a kidney infection and he would have to stay on the antibiotics for four or five more days and then go on a course of tablets just to be sure. Callum said he was happy to help Sam with Dean for the next few days as he was helping a buddy with another case at a hospital a few miles away. Sam thanked Callum for his help and Callum checked Deans attempt at needle removal and rewrapped it with afresh bandage and changed Dean saline solution for a new bag before promising to call in that afternoon with another injection to help Dean sleep that night.

Sam had breakfast and tidied up the bathroom and the main room, the last couple of days had been a bit messy. Sam collected the things that had got wet and messy the night before along with as many sweaty sheets as he could get and took them to the Laundromat coming back to check on Dean every few minutes. Dean stayed asleep until after lunch and Sam by then had run out of things to do short of washing the Impala, which he wanted to do for Dean but didn't want to be away that long. When Dean woke Sam padded over and took his temperature 102.5 and Dean showed slight improvement. He frowned when Sam spoke to him like Sam was speaking another language and didn't speak at all himself. When Sam sat on the bed next to him he put his head on Sam's lap, it spoke volumes to Sam so he eased himself into bed with Dean and Dean lay with his head on Sam's chest, and Sam stroked Deans back which seemed to soothe his brother. After a while Sam began to get hot, his chest where Dean was laying was now hot and sweaty. Sam lay a bit longer then realizing Dean was asleep put Dean's head back on the pillow and Sam moved off to change his shirt.

Later that day Dean woke up and started pushing at his cast again looking like he wanted to get it off. Sam held his hand until he seemed like he was past it, softly soothing Dean's head with his fingers to take Dean's mind off it. Dean drifted off again but he was restless and managed to push all his pillows to the ground and almost tear the IV out . He woke again and seemed agitated and unsure of his surroundings until Sam sat next to him and talked to him softly rubbing his back.

When Callum came in at eight o'clock Sam was sitting by Dean's bed and Dean was lying flat on his back without any pillows looking sleepily up at the ceiling. Callum knew by looking at Sam what kind of day he had but asked anyway. He checked Dean over changed the antibiotic IV and bandage and gave Dean another injection and even though Dean was awake he made no move when the needle went in. Callum tried talking to Dean but Dean just stared at the ceiling eyes already dropping shut. Callum told Sam to get some sleep, the young man looked beat but Callum knew it was the emotional turmoil that was wearing Sam out. He tried to encourage Sam by telling him Dean's temperature was down to 102 and Dean was coming along ok, he just looked out of it because of the fever and he expected the antibiotics to start having and effect overnight. He should be much better by the time he came back to check on Dean in the morning.

Sam slept next to Dean that night because he was worried there would be a repeat of the morning before. Dean slept the night through but woke up wet with sweat and his heart was racing and chest heaving, Sam dragged him to the shower again for a tepid shower and checked his temperature 104.1 not as bad as it had been but bad enough. Dean felt like crap sitting in the shower again Sam holding his hand and pushing tables down his throat, Dean had had quite enough and spat the tablets out, he just wanted it to end and end now but he had no clue how to end it, he was struggling for coherent thoughts. Sam pushed tablets into his mouth again and he spat them out again. Sam was speaking louder now getting his face in Deans pleading with him to do something. Dean had no clue what he wanted and looked around looking for what Sam was talking about.

Sam was starting to freak out because Dean was looking around like a punch-drunk fighter and wouldn't take his tablets. Sam felt his control staring to slip and took a deep breath and then a few more, and then he started to cry. What the hell was going on? Dean wouldn't take his tablets so he was crying like a baby. "Damn it Dean you gotta help me". Dean looked at him like he had four heads, then he did something unexpected: he opened his mouth and pushed Sams hand to his mouth accepting the tablets out of Sam's hand and swallowed them down, he had finally got what Sam wanted, then he leaned forward and pushed his head into Sam's neck as close to a hug and a "I'm sorry" as he could do at the moment, but for some reason Sam cried harder now. Dean tried to comfort Sam by patting him on the arm but his control wasn't great and he was rather rough. Sam slowly got himself under control and pulled Dean up out of the shower. Dean helped Sam as best he could which was to say not much.

Once back in bed Dean was back to being confused and still looked quite punch-drunk, but he didn't bother Sam just kept looking around like he had no clue where he was. When Callum came that morning Dean was bent over on his right side pushing at his cast with his right hand. Callum checked him over his temperature stood at 102.9, so Callum gave Dean another shot but this time Sam had to hold Dean down as he clearly did not want the shot and almost got a broken needle in his arm for his trouble. Callum stayed with the boys until Dean drifted off and then offered to watch Dean so Sam could take a walk or something. Sam didn't want to go but Callum convinced Sam it would be better if he could take a break while Dean was sleeping so he could be there for him when he needed him.

Sam took the Impala down to the car wash and gave it a wash. The bad weather had cleared and the car looked great in the sun after the wash, then Sam went to the supermarket and got more TV dinners, drinks and snacks for himself as none of Dean's stuff had been touched yet. He also bought a jar of coffee and some fresh milk as he was going through large amounts of hotel coffee and wanted something else.

When he got back Callum was sitting reading a newspaper and reported Dean hadn't moved and he should be safe to have a shower if he wanted. Sam thanked him and Callum left and said he would see him that night. Sam showered and cleaned up keeping an ear out for Dean as he worked away and then packed away his things. Late in the afternoon Sam sat at the kitchen table reading one of his novels when Dean woke up, taking a deep breath Sam walked over and was surprised to see Dean's face looked disheveled but his eyes look clearer than they had in days. Dean smiled slowly back at him and reached for his hand. "How are you feeling Dean?"

"A bit washed out, you?" Dean's voice was raspy with disuse. Sam found it incredibly sexy.

"Not too bad, I'll get you some water." Sam grabbed a bottle of water for Dean and took it over.

Sam sat against the headboard of the bed and Dean pulled himself up to lean against him. Sam opened the bottle for Dean and helped him control the bottle so he could drink. He was still very shaky and he drank slowly as if he was waiting to see what his stomach would do, but he got half the bottle down, more than Sam expected.

"So what's going on?" Dean said shaking his right wrist indicating the IVs in his arm.

"Well you've had the antibiotics in for two days and your temperature rose to 105.9"

"What? Get out off here, two days?"

"Yeah, what's the last thing you remember?"

"Mmm" Dean closed his eyes in thought, "I remember Callum changing the cast and putting the first IV in then….ah being in the shower?….being confused ...I don't know its patchy…. then waking up just now."

"Might be a good thing you don't remember it's been pretty ugly dude, but it's great to have you back" and Sam wrapped Dean in a hug to show him how much he missed him.

Dean rested the remainder of the day waking once after dinner looking a little confused but his temperature was sitting at 102.5 and had been all afternoon. He was awake when Callum came to see him at eight that night and was lying on his side pushing at his cast irritably with his other hand but he wasn't doing much damage and Sam he let him do it because gave him something to do rather than pull his IVs out. Callum changed his IVs pleased that Sam had got some water in him and that he had woken up at least once with a clearer outlook. Callum gave Dean another injection and Sam braced Dean in case he fought but Dean just lay and let the needle go in with no fuss. Dean's swings in mood were making Sam's head spin and Callum seemed to read it from Sam's face. "Don't worry the antibiotics are doing the job now, his mood will stabilise and he will be back to normal". Dean was asleep before Callum left the room.

The next morning Sam was up showered, dressed and eaten breakfast before Dean stirred at ten o'clock. Sam took another deep breath and took his book, a bottle of water ,remote control for the TV and the thermometer over to Dean's bedside. Dean slowly sat up and leaned against the headboard on his pillow, the sheet fell down Dean's chest and Sam was distressed how thin Dean looked now. He had not had a T shirt on for a few days now but Sam hadn't noticed how thin Dean was getting because he was to busy caring for him. Sam took Deans temperature 101.9 starting to go the right way. Sam leaned against the headboard and pulled Dean to him and helped him drink some water, and then he stayed with Dean letting him rest against him. "How you feeling buddy?"

"Ok. When can I get rid of these?" He jiggled his right hand to indicate the IVs. Ah he must be feeling better, he wants out already.

"When the doctor says its time Dean".

"Great". Dean said his husky voice dripping with sarcasm.

"He said you should be feeling much better today".

"Mmm. Just feel like I've been hit by a truck".

"That's all?"

"Yep".

Sam turned the TV on and they lay together channel flicking for a while then Dean asked Sam to turn it off. Sam looked concerned as Dean was pressing the bridge of his nose a sure sign of a large painful headache. "Are you ok Dean?"

"Yeah it's just hurting my head".

"Hurting your head?" Sam's eyebrows rose.

"Yeah, you know when you feel like your brain is getting to much information at once, kind of sensory overload". This was the most Dean had spoken for a few days and his voice broke and Sam helped him drink some water and he coughed a little before settling down. The coughing seemed to be painful and wear him out. Sam pulled Deans head to his chest encouraging him to rest but Dean put one arm out and snagged the book off the bedside table. He held it up to Sam, "This any good?" Sam eyebrows rose as high as they went, Dean taking an interest in literature?

"Yeah it is actually, I'm enjoying it".

"Read some to me?" Ok someone stole his brother and replaced him with this imposter.

"You serious?"

"Yeah, you used to read your school readers to me when you learned to read. I miss those days". Dean's voice was soft and croaky.

"Okay" said Sam slowly, unsure what was going on. Dean must be playing some kind of joke on him, but he turned to the beginning of the book and started to read. He only got four words out before Dean stopped him. He took the book from Sam and found the page Sam had folded over as a place marker. He handed Sam the book back and settled against Sam's chest.

"From where you were up to" he said simply .Sam looked down at him.

"But you won't understand the story".

"I'll pick it up as we go along, besides its more about hearing your voice than the actual story".

Holy crap, who was this person?

Sam hid his surprise and found his place and started to read somewhat hesitantly at first then with more confidence. He found himself with his arm around Dean's shoulder unconsciously stroking his chest and stomach with his hand as he read.

_TBC_


	26. Chapter 26 Key

Chapter 26 Key

After an hour of reading to Dean, Sam noticed Dean's fidgets had subsided and he lay very still in his arms. When Sam looked down he expected to find Dean asleep, the only way he could imagine him being this still, but Dean was awake his eyes were open and he had a look of quiet contemplation on his face. Like he was listening to something really important or something so engaging he had no choice but to be still and listen.

Sam had seen the look before he realized, but not for a long time, when he was young he loved to read and Dean was the one who he went to when he wanted to read and learn new words. Their dad couldn't do it for more than a few minutes at a time; he would become bored and pass him to his brother. Dean had taught Sam to love and read books, even though he showed no real interest himself. How had Dean learned to read so that he could help Sam? He would have had no help, unlike Sam had. Dean felt Sam looking at him and looked up a small smile on his lips "What's got the cogs turning Sammy?"

"How did you learn to read Dean?"

"What? Way to bury the lead. School like everyone else".

"Did dad ever help you with it?"

"Mom started me off, but after the fire it was school I think, why?"

"I just remember you helping me with my reading a lot when we were growin' up and I got to thinking you must have learned enough to help me. How did you do it Dean?"

"Detention."

"Detention?"

"When you get detention you have to read to the teacher. I got detention in a lot of schools". Deans voice was soft and raspy.

"How did you get detention Dean?"

"It wasn't hard Sammy, they told when you started at a new school all the ways you could get detention".

"Did you get detention on purpose to learn to read so that you could teach me?"

"I guess".

"Didn't dad care?"

"He was way deep into demon hunting by then. Only told me off if I kept him waiting so he could go on a hunt." Deans voice was croaky again and Sam gave him some water.

"Huh". Sam grunted ,this must be where Dean got his adaptability from, he learned early. "Dean did you sit your SATS?"

"Yep".

"What score did you get?"

"Don't know".

"Come on Dean, you can tell me I won't rag on you I swear".

"No Sammy, I can't tell you". Dean looked down and Sam pulled his chin up with his hand.

"Why not?"

"Never found out".

"Why not?"

"We moved the day after, you know dad, no forwarding address".

"Did dad know?"

"If he did he never mentioned it". Dean looked away awkwardly he didn't want Sam to feel sorry for him.

"Dean, how did you feel about it? It must have pissed you off to do all that studying for nothing."

"Ha, I wasn't allowed to get pissed off Sammy remember, I was the babysitter, daddy's good little soldier." It came out harsher than Dean expected even with his voice so gravelly. "Sorry Sam", he said quietly "It's not your fault its mine".

"Why is it your fault?"

"I should have stood up for myself back then but I guess I was used to being stood on so much I didn't care any more". Dean's voice was soft and Sam recognized the physical and emotional pain Dean was going through to talk about this. He pulled him closer to his chest.

"Were you pissed off you weren't given the opportunity to go to university then?" Sam asked softly.

"For the first week, then I buried it like I do and then I swore it wouldn't happen to you."

"That's why you fought with dad to let me go to university". Sam stroked a hand through Deans hair.

"Mmm, one of the reasons Sammy. Going to university is not just about being smart and getting good grades it's about leaving this life behind. We were forced into this and getting out is living as normal as possible".

"But you hated me for going of to uni looking for a normal life".

"Jealous Sam, envied, proud that you stood up to dad, hated that you left but never hated you." A big admission from Dean.

"I wish it had been different Dean, dad made it so hard for us.'

"I know."

Sam got Dean some more water, then Dean stood slowly and Sam helped him to the toilet. Sam held onto Dean as he went to the toilet as he was pretty weak, he averted his eyes so Dean had a little privacy. It wasn't hard, one arm around Dean the other holding onto his IV Bags. Once he was settled in bed Dean went back to sleep and Sam had lunch. Sam spent his lunchtime and most of the afternoon thinking about what Dean had told him.

Late in the afternoon Sam read to Dean some more when he woke up and he seemed much brighter and Sam was happy his temperature was down to 100.4 , he felt a lot cooler and drank more water and Sam helped him to the toilet twice more that day and Dean walked slowly carrying his own weight the second time. Callum was happy with Deans progress and gave him a reduced amount of medication in the injection he gave him and said he would be happy for Dean to go back on to pain tablets the next day. Dean was happy ,no more needles except the two taped to the back of his hand which Callum wanted to leave in for another 48 hours. That night Dean watched TV with Sam for an hour and cuddled up to Sam to go to sleep. Sam was painfully aware that Dean had no shirt on just boxers and kept rubbing his hand over Dean's chest. Dean seemed not to care he just enjoyed attention for once and nodded off to sleep.

Sam woke up with a huge erection the next morning even though he was facing away from Dean and Dean's arms were wrapped around him. Maybe it had something to do with Dean's warm breath on the back of his neck or Deans bare chest against his back. Sam snuggled back into Dean's chest and pushed his left arm backwards and around Dean and rubbed up and down Dean's back. Sam was getting painfully hard and was considering pulling himself off right there in the bed when Dean woke and snuffled his face into Sam's neck and wrapped his arms tighter around Sam. That didn't make it any easier.

Sam was starting to wriggle in Dean's arms his need was getting harder to control. And then Dean's right hand rubbed up under Sam's shirt over Sam's lower abdominals and Sam's control flew out the window as he groaned, pushing his head back against Deans and turning to the side searching for Dean's lips. Dean moved his head so their lips meet and the kisses were wet and wild and passionate. Sam's left arm moved up over his head to the back of Deans head stroking and pushing Deans head forward so that his mouth pushed harder into his and arching his body forward. Dean pulled Sam's T shirt up so that his front was rubbing against Sam's bare back, then he pushed his right leg through Sam's legs then pulled Sam back into him and pulled them both to the left so that he was almost on his back and Sam's right side at his hip was off the mattress and Dean had more freedom of movement with his right arm. Dean's right hand moved under Sam's boxers and pulled his erection free, his fingers moving up and down the shaft seeming to tease Sam by not using his whole hand. Then Sam remembered Dean's hand had a bandage holding his IV needles in so he couldn't use his whole hand. Sam groaned loudly as he felt his climax building fast in his belly, he was soon pumping through Dean's fingers, the need to come getting very strong. Dean was driving him to the edge quickly, full hand or not and he just _had_ to look down and see how Dean's talented fingers were doing it . Dean was using Sam's pre-cum and slipping up and down the shaft with his clever fingers teasing the head and ghosting into the slit. And that was all it took ,seeing Deans fingers working his shaft giving Sam pleasure while his hand was still wrapped up sent Sam crashing over the edge cuming onto Dean's hand and his own stomach in thick spurts and yelling his brothers name as he did so.

Dean got out of bed and helped Sam change the sheets and then he lay back down while Sam changed the bandage on his hand then Sam had a shower and got dressed. Sam had breakfast and Dean had water and used the bathroom, brushing his teeth and having a shave with Sam's help. Dean put a fresh T shirt and sweats on feeling a lot cooler than he had and his temperature read 99.5. Sam read to Dean while they sat in bed then Sam went off to do more washing taking with him a certain dirty sheet.

When Sam was having his lunch Dean woke up and sat up and looked at Sam. "What are you eating?"

"TV Dinner. Spaghetti bolognaise, you hungry?"

"Starving".

Sam went to the bag on the kitchen cupboard and pulled out a couple of tins of soup "Chicken or chicken vegetable?"

"Let's start with the chicken and see how it goes".

Sam made the soup up for Dean and bought a cup over to him. He drank carefully and his stomach groaned and gurgled and Dean sat tensely while he waited to see if he would be rushing to the bathroom. His stomach accepted it however and he drank the full cup.

The boys went back to reading and after an hour Sam got Dean more soup and then Sam read again. After a while Sam stopped reading and said into Dean's neck "Dean I saw the pictures you have in your journal ".

"Mmm".

"You're journal is special to you hey?"

"Yeah"

"Dean those photos, do you have any of yourself growing up?"

"A few".

"But not in the journal?'

"No. You know what life on the roads like Sammy you keep the most important stuff you need with you. Everything else gets thrown out or stored somewhere, they fit in the journal ok so I took them with me." Sam noticed the last few words Dean had uttered were slow and strangled sounding when they came out like Dean was trying to stop them.

"Dean, Do you have stuff stored somewhere?" Dean just looked at Sam like he was unwilling to say anything. "Come on Dean I'm your brother, I'm not going to give you crap for hiding stuff. I know what it's like ok? Please?"

"The journal, can you grab it?" Dean had his head down and spoke softly like it was causing him pain to let this out. Sam went to Dean's bag and bought the journal over and handed it to Dean. Dean flipped the book to the back page and pulled a small flap open that ran along the inside of the spine. He put two fingers in carefully and pulled out a small silver key. He handed it to Sam. "This is the key to a locker at Pastor Jim's."

"What ? How long have you had that?"

"Since I was ten."

"Ten? Holy shit Dean that's along time to have something like that. What's in it and why did you set it up?" Dean felt uncomfortable at telling more secrets to Sam but this one was never meant to be a secret so it wasn't as hard to let go of.

"When I was ten I was injured backing dad up on a hunt, it was bad enough so there were visible bruises and a wicked concussion. Anyway we stayed with Pastor Jim for a week, away from prying eyes while I recovered just you and me of course, dad left for another hunt. Pastor Jim was doing my laundry when he saw stuff in my bag I was trying to hold onto. Stuff dad had thrown in the trash and I had got out and hidden so I could hang onto them. He offered me a locker at the church and I've used it every time I get back there. Of course I had to sneak down there a few times or get Jim to put things in for me.

"Wow, I never knew".

"You were meant to get one too Sam when you were old enough but dad got an idea as to what was going on and stopped going near the church and Jim and I kept as quiet as we could about things so dad wouldn't find out".

"Why didn't you want dad to know?"

"We weren't sure he would like the idea. The things in there have got nothing to do with hunting more sentimental stuff. I didn't think he would understand and didn't want to take the risk he would find out and salt and burn it." Dean uttered a short bark like laugh.

"Salt and burn it? What the hell kind of stuff is it?"

"Photos like I said and school awards, that kind of thing. Things that 'normal' people would put on the fridge or in an album or whatever. Not much but as much as I could keep in case we wanted them later".

"We?"

"Yeah . Some of its yours too Sammy".

" Dean I never knew".

"Nothing to be sorry about Sam you couldn't have known. Pastor Jim and I did a pretty good job of hiding it."

"Can I see what's inside?"

"Next time we go down that way."

"Good , Thanks Dean."

"No problem."

" Dean would you ever have told me about the locker on your own?"

"Yeah of course if we went down that way. I never meant to keep it a secret from you Sammy, just dad."

"Dean, what if you died? I mean our job is so dangerous what if something happened to you?" Sam choked the words out.

"Pastor Jim would have contacted you and told you about it. He knows where the key is too."

"Oh". Sam wasn't sure what to think of the fact Dean had left instructions with someone about what to do on his death. But ultimately he was happy Dean had had a hidden stash away from his father. In his own way without realizing it , Dean had rebelled against his father even if he had done it with help from Pastor Jim and for his brother as well as himself.

Sam read to Dean a bit longer but he was having trouble concentrating on the story as their last discussion kept interrupting his thoughts. He simply had to ask, "Dean, what do you think you would have done with your life if you didn't hunt?"

"No idea".

"Come on, your eighteen, you know nothing about hunting, your SATS are in you can do anything you want".

"What do _you _think?"

"Mechanic, you're great with cars."

"Na,would get bored to quickly, same thing day in day out". Sam thought hard.

"Your right, Soldier, you would kick ass in the army".

"Sam, we were raised as soldiers. I would never want to be one given a choice".

"You'd still kick ass. So what are your skills, apart from hunting, lets see you're a great tracker you'd make a great Sherpa".

"Sherpa?"

"Yeah you know saving people lost in the mountains".

"I think we are in the wrong country for that." Dean mused over Sam's choices for him.

"Hey, I know you're great at first aid, what about a doctor or an EMT?"

"An EMT sounds more exciting than a doctor. Doctors can be dicks as well".

"That's what dad has brought you up to think, Dean doctors do great things too, and there are dicks in every field Dean. You're smart enough to do both, and brave. Hey a fireman, didn't you want to do that once? Or a cop, you'd be a great cop".

"A cop Sam? We impersonate cops all the time."

"And your way more believable than me, you're got a great investigative brain, you would make you a great cop".

_TBC_


	27. Chapter 27 Brother

Chapter 27 Brother

Dean had more soup over the course of the day and had a restful sleep beside Sam that night in the morning he had toast and walked around the room holding his IV bags to get some exercise. Sam read to him while he walked around and they had lunch at the kitchen table together Dean having one of Sam's TV dinners but he ate less than half.

Callum came and took the IVs out after lunch and checked Dean over for the final time. He gave Dean a course of antibiotic tablets to start that night and took away all evidence he had been there. Dean had a shower standing up this time and with shampoo and soap. Dean insisted on helping Sam tidy up the rest of the motel room taking sheets ,pillowcases and clothes to the Laundromat down the block and sitting next to Sam watching the clothes go round in the dryer, feeling good to be up and around finally. Sam made dinner after they put away as much as they could so they could as they decided to hit the road the next morning. After dinner Sam learned up against the headboard of his bed with Dean in his arms and they watched TV together, now and again Sam learning down and drawing Dean into a kiss, now and again Dean snuggling into Sam and kissing him softly. None of it was pushed or urgent just relaxed and loving. Sam enjoying this time with Dean sharing affection towards each other.

Sam thought Dean had nodded off and turned the TV off and went to get off the bed but Dean opened his eyes and asked for more story. Sam read until Dean did drift off and lay asleep in Sam's arms his head on Sam's chest. Sam felt love and happiness and for the first time in a long time a real contentment.

He woke in the morning much later than he anticipated with Dean still asleep on his chest, they hadn't moved all night. Sam woke Dean with a kiss and they hugged for a while neither wanting to leave the others embrace just yet. Sam wanted to go further with Dean this morning but remembered they had to get going before check out and Sam was sure Dean mentioned wanting another shower before they left this morning, so he instead helped Dean up and left him to have a quick shower while he dressed and removed the food he had bought from the fridge and loaded the car.

After settling the account they drove more for a change of scenery after being holed up in one room for so long and wanting to get away from the place where Dean had been sick. They had any easy companionship on the drive stopping for lunch at a road side café and taking it to a park to eat where there was a small pond with a nice view. They ate lunch on a bench then after putting the wrappers in the trash walked around the lake slowly.

After a while Dean stopped in a secluded looking spot and stripped his jacket off, and sat on the grass his back against the sunny side of a tall thin tree with smooth bark and enjoyed the feeling of sun on his arms. Sam enjoyed the sight of Dean in his grey T shirt and jeans with a smile on his face already looking like the sun was doing some good on his pale skin.

Sam wanted to sit down and hug Dean but was worried Dean would freak at a public display of affection just yet, even though Dean had hugged Sam in public twice before they were one armed short hugs , so he was shocked when Dean reached up and took Sam's hand pulling him down beside him on his left side then moved over and pulled Sam across so his back was against the tree. Dean took Sam's book out from his jacket pocket and gave it to Sam and lay down with his head on Sam's lap.

As Sam read he found himself stroking his left hand through Deans hair and Dean didn't push him away in fact he smiled up at Sam. After a while Dean put his right hand up under Sam's T shirt and smoothed his hand over the muscles of Sam's abs. Sam glanced at Dean and saw Dean's bottom lip was caught between his teeth as his hand continued to rub softly. Dean's hand moved up and over Sam's chest his fingers gliding over the nipples and Sam had to stop reading as his breath hitched , he looked down into Dean's bright green watery eyes. Dean's hand moved up out of the top of the T shirt and up and around Sam's neck and pulled Sam's head down and he used the momentum to pull himself up to meet Sam's lips and kissed him deep shocking the shit out of Sam although he tried to hide it. Sam's left hand moved down to Deans back to hold him up and his right dropped the book and dived under Deans T shirt to smooth at the muscles of Deans stomach and chest as Deans hand moved back down from Sam's neck to do the same to kissing for a while Dean lowered himself back down to Sam's lap and to Sam's amazement he picked up the book and started to read again.

Dean shocked Sam further as they drove along in the afternoon Deans hand lay on the back of the bench seat his hand resting behind Sam's head as he drove. After a while Deans fingers stroked the back of Sam's hair just a few times then they stopped and went back to resting there. Sam looked over, sure Dean would have a big goofy shit eating grin on his face but Dean sat quietly looking out the window lost in thought.

They drove 100 miles that day just far enough to put Redline behind them and although Dean got some sleep in the car he was getting tired when they found a motel. Dean offered to organise the room while Sam checked the local directory for somewhere to eat. Dean decided to treat the both of them and got a slightly more expensive room than normal with pay TV and a DVD player. Sam got a surprise when they entered the room there was only one king sized bed in the room. Sam blushed and pulled Dean in for a long hug and a kiss. Dean had affirmed their new relationship in true Dean fashion. Sam knew Dean was a firm believer that actions speak louder than words.

They walked down the block to the diner Sam had found and had supper then came back to the room and watched TV together Dean almost falling asleep a few times. They washed up and got into bed, Dean insisting that Sam read to him even though Sam said Dean's eyes looked like they were hanging out of his head. Dean stroked Sam's arm as Sam read, Sam was sure that was all that was keeping Dean awake he looked very half an hour of reading Dean was starting to drift off and Sam asked a question that been on his mind since Dean had admitted to fighting about Sam's schooling with their dad. "Dean, did dad ever hit you?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Well you guys went on some pretty rough hunts and I just wondered how much of it was the hunt was and how much was you fighting with dad." Dean didn't look like he was going to answer he was chewing his lip in a way that said _I don't want to talk about this_.

"Sometimes we went a bit overboard". Dean answered slowly.

"Why did dad not want me to leave? I mean, I know he thought I couldn't look after myself and he was obsessed because the demon killed mum but that can't just be it, can it?"

"Dad didn't see it from your point of view and I guess being closer to you I could. He wanted to hunt down the thing that killed mum, it was his obsession because he loved her so much and she was taken from him. Same reason you got back into it after Jessica. I understood him a bit because I knew mum enough to want some revenge but he never understood that you never knew mum, it wasn't your fault you were too young. And I guess that was part of it, you _were_ so young when mum died." Dean spoke softy and tiredly but the words felt like nails on his tongue he never wanted to talk about this to anyone.

"You were young too Dean".

"But I was lucky; I had all that time with her before she was taken. She taught me so much. She was the one who taught me how important family is."

"I wondered where you got that from; it's so strong in you."

"Its mum, she sat me down and told me that I had to be a great big brother it was the most important thing I could ever do in my whole life. It stayed with me all these years".

"Mum told you that?"

"Yep, when you were still in her stomach she would get me to read to you, she was teaching me a few words, and we would play music to you and talk to you, and she let me feel you kick." Dean's eyes were starting to well with tears. He hadn't let himself think of these things in years.

"Wow. I had no idea." Sam's eyes were welling up too.

"I was never jealous of you Sammy. Other kids would get in trouble hitting or teasing their little sisters or brothers but I never did because mum told me that she would always love us just the same no matter now many brother and sisters I had and whatever I did she would always love me the same. Instead of pushing me away she let me help with your feeding and changing and helping you sleep. As it turned out they were things I needed to know later. That night of the fire I was ready, because of what mum taught me. When dad handed you to me and told me to take you outside I became an adult, not when I turned 13 or 16 or 21 but right then, that night." Dean realized it was the most he'd ever spoken about that night or his mother put it down to tiredness.

"Man that must have been hard I'm sorry Dean".

"Don't you say sorry, or feel sorry for me Sammy. I looked after you because I wanted to not because I_ had_ to,mum taught me that.

"But you looked after dad too". Not much gets past Sam.

" Yeah well, dad fell apart when mum died , he need me to be there to do the things he couldn't . I thought it would be _just_ until he pulled himself together , then _just _until he killed the demon , by then it was to late, an obsession that he threw himself and his kids into. I know he thought he was teaching us to defend ourselves but it was wrong to drag us into it. I know that now".

"Did dad use that to make you do things? The having to defend yourself?"

"That and the, "you have to look after your brother". The amount of times he pulled that card out, the "you have to be strong to protect your brother "like I didn't know that".

"God, Dean".

"I know, the first time I fired a handgun I nearly shit myself, or worse dropped it on the ground. Dad called me weak as piss. I couldn't save Sam from the tooth fairy. I was seven." Dean's voice was trying to keep it light but his eyes had tears welling up,damn things.

"What an asshole".

"He just wanted me to be strong".

"And be his little soldier".

"Yeah, well by the time I realized that it was too late for me".

"But not for me and you guys fought about it."

"Yeah".

"What did dad think was going to happen to me?"

"That you would abandon us or you would get yourself killed".

"I would never abandon you Dean".

"Yeah well I knew that. Try telling dad".

"But get myself killed, how?"

"He thought you would forget your training or reject it".

"Ha! I've been doing it so I long I could never forget it".

"That's what I said" Dean was starting to feel like Sam was tripping his secrets out like salt out of a salt shaker, where would it end?

"What did dad say to that?"

"He asked me how I would feel if I had to bury you because you got yourself killed after being at university for only a month." Dean looked down and chewed his lip; the damn thing keeps spitting things out, must be the the tiredness.

"Ouch. What did you say?"

"I said at least you would have had a month of happiness. It would have been better than being a miserable bastard for the rest of your life." Dean half laughed half sobbed this out, tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

"Holy crap, Dean!" Sam pulled Dean into a sudden hug. He was totally freaked Dean had spoken to their father like that he had never known. "What did he say to that?"

"It wasn't what he said it's more what he did". "Stop it you mutinous mouth" Dean thought desperately as the tears finally fell slowly down his face and he dashed them away roughly with the back of his hand. God he felt tired.

"What Dean, what did he do?" Dean looked away from Sam determined not to say anymore. But Sam grabbed his chin and looked deep into his eyes with those wide wet puppy dog eyes making him feel like a deer in the headlights. Damn it Sam. "Please Dean you have to tell me, I'm not going to freak out I promise."

"Well ..." Dean began hesitantly "unfortunately, we were on the way to double salt and burn and he hit me with what he had in his hand".

"Fuck! A shovel! Dean, he hit you with a shovel?"

"Yep 15 stitches right here" Dean pointed to his head just above his hairline on the left side of his head. Sam could see a tiny scar there. "He caught me by surprise but I managed to duck at the last second".

"Far out, Dean". Sam was thinking of what might have happened if Dean hadn't ducked. "What happened then Dean?"

"He made me dig the 2 graves myself; it was hard blood coming down my face wasn't pretty".

"Did he stitch you up?"

"Nah did it myself".

"Man, I'm sorry Dean".

"None of that Sammy, it's in the past, it shouldn't even be coming out of my stupid mouth, I don't know what's wrong with me lately." Sam hugged Dean close.

"I do Dean, its called sharing with your brother. A brother who, I might add loves you very much by the way and thinks you're the best big brother ever."

"Well you are the best brother ever full stop." "What did I just say?", Dean thought stupidly, "yeah I mean it but why am I saying it?" Sam hugged Dean tighter and settled down in the bed, thinking about what Dean had said.

"Thanks for talking with me Dean it means the world to me". And they both fell to sleep quickly feeling love in their hearts.

* * *

_TBC_

_Last chapter will be up tomorrow- thanks to all who have read and reviewed to this point particularly rog 457 who has been there since the beginning and gave me plenty of food for thought._


	28. Chapter 28 Awesome

**Disclaimer see Chapter 1**

Chapter 28 Awesome

Dean woke early the next morning and feeling a lot better and went across to the diner and bought breakfast for himself and Sam and served Sam his in bed, with a kiss and thanks for looking after him when he had been sick. After breakfast Sam dressed and they went shopping of all things. Sam buying some more books and Dean browsing the shops at Sam's side enjoying being out and about. When they returned to the room they had an early lunch and Dean went down for a nap as he was feeling slightly worn out.

When Dean woke up Sam was nowhere to be seen so he pulled his jeans on and walked out to the car, it was still there. He went back to bed and lay there in his jeans and t shirt watching TV. Sam returned soon after with two DVDs he had rented from the motels rental collection to use in the DVD player. Sam sat at the table and pulled the laptop out to see if there was anything going on in the area. Dean watched TV for a while then got up and padded over to Sam and lowered the screen of the laptop and lifted his leg over both Sam's and sat on Sam's lap facing him.

Sam looked up in surprise and then grinned as Dean put his arm around Sam's neck and came down for a kiss. Deans moved his hand through Sam's hair enjoying having a little height on Sam. Sam put a big hand either side of Deans face and stroked his face as he kissed him deeply. Dean pulled Sam's and his own T shirt off in one swift movement and Sam's hands were instantly all over Deans back like he had never felt skin before. When Sam came up for air he panted at Dean "Shouldn't you be taking it easy?"

"I've been taking it far too easy, Sammy" Dean murmured into Sam's neck. Dean kissed into Sam's mouth and Sam's hands were going wild over Dean's skin, he felt wired wanting to be as close to Deans skin as he could. Dean on the hand smoothed his hand softly over Sam's skin stroking and pushing into the muscles of Sam's neck and shoulders then down Sam's back as Sam leaned forward licking down Dean's neck. The lightness and care of Dean's stokes were making Sam more frantic and when Dean smoothed his hand over Sam's taunt chest muscles, Sam groaned loudly into Dean's mouth. When Dean moved his hand softly over Sam's abdominals Sam pulled away from Deans mouth for a moment and breathing "oh fuck Dean" into Deans neck . As Dean stroked down towards Sam's jeans waistband ,Sam's hands returned to frantically rubbing and pressing Deans sides and back occasionally coming up and stoking through his hair quickly.

Dean pulled open Sam's belt, button and fly and pulled them away from Sam's tented boxers. Then he pulled open his own belt, button and fly then pulled the front of his jeans down and was about to pull his erection out of his boxers when he stopped and scooted his butt slightly further back on Sam's legs. "Sammy" he breathed in Sam's ear,bringing his hand up to Sam's head. But Sam's hands moved even quicker over Dean's skin. "Sammy Sammy, slow down" he breathed louder. Sam slowed down and pulled back to look worriedly at Deans face. "It's ok Sammy, it's all yours". Sam frowned at Dean and Dean tilted Sam's head down with his fingers on the back of his head. Sam looked down and noticed Deans jeans undone and a very noticeable hard on in Dean's boxers. "It's waiting for you Sammy", Dean whispered in Sam's ear and the thrill went all the way down Sam's spine to his groin. Dean was asking Sam to pull his dick out of his boxers, holy crap. Sam hardened fully at the thought and he bought his hands down reverently to Dean's boxers and slipped his hands in slowly. He couldn't believe he was doing this, his heart hammed in his chest as he put his hand softly around Dean's erection and pulled the boxers away and down. He felt Deans breath on his neck, they were both looking down watching Sam's hands as they moved softly up and down Dean's shaft. Sam was surprised that Dean's dick was about the same size as his own, he had expected Dean's to be slightly smaller because Dean was slightly shorter than Sam. But apparently it didn't work that way. Dean's dick was just, beautiful and Sam couldn't get enough, using both hands to work Dean's shaft. Sam closed his eyes enjoying the feeling and was surprised to feel his fingers move through some slippery liquid all of a sudden and looked down to see Dean had produced a small packet of lube and had drizzled some on Sam's hands and was putting some on his own hand which had freed Sam's erection even though he hadn't felt it happen. Sam groaned as they worked each others shafts. The need and want to come happening quickly, Dean was panting Sam's name in his ear and was sucking and biting his neck and shoulders. Sam groaned and called Deans name low in his throat as he pumped up into Dean's hand. He kept both his hands on Dean's erection captivated by the feeling as it pumped through his hands. Deans left arm across the back of the chair the only thing holding them on the chair. Sam came first yelling Dean's name in his ear and as Dean stroked him through the aftershocks Dean came too calling Sam's name muffled against his neck.

When he had some breath back Dean reached down and snagged his T shirt and quickly cleaned them both up, but he didn't get up or pull away as Sam expected. Instead he shuffled closer to Sam pushing their bare dicks and chests together, giving Sam sloppy open mouth kisses on his neck and face as he snuggled closer and put both his arms across Sam's shoulders. Sam felt his downstairs brain start to stir again and had to wonder how Dean was doing this to him. He had never seen Dean with a guy but he seemed to know just what to do to get him excited like a schoolboy every time and here he was ready to go again already, a feat unheard of. He had to ask. He murmured softly and shyly in Deans ear "Dean have you been with a guy before?"

"No Sammy."

"How do you know what to do?"

"Its sex Sam, there's only one rule." Sam pulled back and looked at Dean with a question in his eyes.

"Do what feels good, Sam". Dean had answered Sam's unasked question.

"Of course".

"Mmm" Dean kissed Sam deeply, clearly ready for more. Sam pulled back he had one more thing to say.

"Because that was awesome, Dean."

"No Sammy that was great, this is awesome". And Dean swung up and off Sam's lap lithely and pulled him up by the hand, leading him toward the bed.

The End.

* * *

_Thanks to all who took the journey with me for my first story - I will have another story up soon._


End file.
